Mush

That's all that I've been lately, physically and mentally. Hence the lack of any updates for the past five months or so. Here's a random picture of me drinking a smoothie, just to prove that I am still alive and to remind everyone what I look like (hah).

If, somehow, you had presented to me six months ago the person that I am today, I would be in complete and total disbelief. I mean, I understand that people change over time, but a transformation so drastic typically doesn't occur over such a short period of time, let alone so fluidly and without resistance. Yet here I am, plowing through 2012 with such fervor that I even scare myself at times. I've never known myself to be a spontaneous-almost-reckless "go-getter" type of person, but given the circumstances that I've been in lately, I suppose its easy to see how I've become such a being.

So much has changed, so much. I'm not quite sure where to begin, and I certainly don't possess neither the time nor the capability to cover all the bases in one blog post, but there's a few things that really seem to stick out. Like the fact that I shave a lot more often, for instance. No more whiskers. My weight has also fluctuated, dipping as low as 121 lbs, but it now sits at a healthy 136.5 lbs, with a good chunk of the added weight being muscle. Yes, I finally acquired a gym membership and have been hitting the weights four, maybe five times a week. I've done loads to my car, something that I'll dedicate an entire entry to one day, but let's just say that I've discovered slammed life to be a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. I went to my first rave the other week, and have many more planned in the near future. We'll talk about that later, as well. Work has been typical, steady, consistent; 30-hour workweeks become tiresome at times, but the raise and perks that I was recently blessed with help keep things interesting. And school, the most dreaded necessity of all for many people, has done nothing but remind me that I've absolutely no clue as to what path I want to dedicate myself to. At the very least, however, my mind is brimming with ideas as to what I aspire to do. And I've finished that dreaded IGETC. Finally. 

And of course, let's not forget the beautiful people in my life. To be honest, a tiny, no a very minute part of me misses the social aspect of high school - the fact that you would see the same faces in class every day, or around campus, or at the local Target after school, and you would just know that they're there. Not at all like "the real world", where faces become blurs and everyone moves from one point to the next, carrying about their own business. Nonetheless, this only strengthens the bond that I have with those that I make an active effort to spend time with, and those that reciprocate the thought. I've never been one to have dozens upon dozens of friends ready and willing to go out with me whenever I please, never was one of the "popular" kids...but that's alright. Those that I do have, I hold very dear to me. My parents and my family, first and foremost. My coworkers, many of whom have become some of my closest friends beyond the workplace. My NorCal Celica family, because we spend more time just hanging out and being silly with each other than we do actually talking about car stuff. All of the various friends who enjoy my company enough to send me a text every now and then, asking if I'd like to grab a bite to eat or hang out at a park somewhere. And my best friend, someone who I've been close to for a number of years now, but only very recently started to see that out of everybody that I know, she's one of the select few who truly accepts me for who I am. I love you all. 

What a wild ride it's been so far, 2012. I'm not going to lie: I've probably spent as much time being sad, depressed, bitter, upset, and abso-fucking-lutely stupid as I've spent being truly happy so far this year, but in retrospect, I've also lived up to my expectations, perhaps even exceeded them. I told myself I would take more risks. I've definitely done so; just ask my heart, my body, and my wallet. I said that I would spend more time with my loved ones; I still kiss my mom goodnight, every single night, and I've never been in better company whenever I go out with my friends. I wanted to be a bit more open with my thoughts and feelings, let people in on what I'm feeling; maybe I could use some work on this, but overall, not bad! And I promised that this year would be my year; well, I'm having a blast, and the year ain't even close to over. 

Let's see what else you've got in store for me, 2012. I'm ready.