Call it luck, coincidence, or whatever else you want to, but something deep inside is telling me that it's real, and it's worth a shot.
You'll never know unless you try, right?
You'll never know unless you try, right?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Can't be wrong.
Sitting here. On my bed. It's 4:41 A.M., and once again, I find myself wondering, "Why the hell am I still awake?!". So much for becoming a morning person. I guess I'll start with a recap of recent events, something that I haven't done for awhile, at least not chronologically and in great detail. I honestly don't even know where to start, so I guess we'll begin with today...well, technically "yesterday" now that it's past midnight.
I woke up sometime around 1 P.M. today after getting some much-needed sleep following an arduous first week of winter quarter and working closing shifts right after my classes. Having three weeks off for Christmas break and being able to come into work each and every day feeling bubbly and refreshed was a nice change of pace, but I've really forgotten what its like to pull a 12+ hour day until this weekend. Luckily for me, work hasn't been all that bad lately; this week has been a rather slow week due to the weather getting a little bit colder, so I was able to smoothly ease myself back into the groove of working. I expect it to be getting much busier in a week or two once it warms up.
Anyway, I didn't even roll out of bed until nearly 2 P.M. My parents were gone once again, so I reheated some leftover pastries and enjoyed them on the couch, still in my PJs, stretching and yawning as I munched on them while watching NFL Network. About half an hour later I brushed my teeth - and this is unusual for me, because unlike western culture, Asians (or at least Vietnamese people) brush their teeth first, and then they eat breakfast. For the past month or so I've been breaking the mold and eating breakfast prior to brushing, and I have to admit that it just plain makes sense. Why would you brush your teeth first if they're only going to get dirty again?! Not to mention that everything tastes gross with the aftertaste of toothpaste still in your mouth...
After brushing up, my parents came home, and asked if I wanted to go to Santana Row for dinner before I go to work later that night, and of course, I can never refuse dinner with my parents. I spent about an hour playing Battlefield 3, going 25-6 as I sat in an M1 Abrams for most of the round, earning 2 Combat Efficiency ribbons and a total score of somewhere close to 20,000 points for the round. I then showered and left to get gas, and then met up with my parents after that. We decided to eat at Left Bank, a restaurant that I pass by every day but never really had a chance to try. Despite working on The Row, I always feel underdressed and out-of-placed whenever I'm there, but nonetheless, we had quite a satisfying dinner, if I may say so myself. Worth the high price that comes with dining at an upscale, trendy restaurant? Probably not, but it was nice.
Work was typical, if not a little slow. I'm gradually recognizing more and more of the regulars that come in. I love the look on a customer's face when I greet them with familiarity, especially if it's my first time doing so to them; they always give me a stifled smile and a look as if to say, "Oops, I know that I come here way too often, this is my guilty pleasure, but it's just so good!". Despite it being a somewhat underwhelming day as far as our sales went, the big-ballers definitely showed up tonight: our tip jar was overflowing, and I received two $5 personal tips, which has never happened to me before tonight. Of course, for the sake of fairness, I put the bills back into the tip jar. But still, it was a nice gesture.
After work, I gave my coworker and friend Bernie a ride home since he didn't have one, and since he lives in Milpitas and I hadn't been there for awhile, I decided to go for a brief, yet relaxing cruise around town after dropping him off. There's something about this city that captivates me...but only at night. Something about driving down Main St., past the library, looking at the rows of bright white lamps on either side, the sleek navy-blue and orange street signs at the intersections (which are much neater than the boring green ones that we have), the tranquility and calmness of it all...I just don't get that feeling anywhere else. I don't think there's a place in San Jose that I can go to and drive, and feel as relaxed as I do driving around Milpitas. That, and the 680 at night.
And here I am, five hours later, still awake, listening to acoustics as my eyes begin to close, a melody and a heart full of hope to lull me to sleep, anticipation for what tomorrow may bring. I would stay awake, but I kind of like sleeping. It's only in my dreams that this has already come true, and nothing feels sweeter than that single moment in which you first regain consciousness after a deep slumber and you're awake, but at the same time incapable of making the distinction between dreams and reality. In that moment, these sheets have never felt warmer. In that moment, you are mine.
Until then, I'll stay dreaming.
I woke up sometime around 1 P.M. today after getting some much-needed sleep following an arduous first week of winter quarter and working closing shifts right after my classes. Having three weeks off for Christmas break and being able to come into work each and every day feeling bubbly and refreshed was a nice change of pace, but I've really forgotten what its like to pull a 12+ hour day until this weekend. Luckily for me, work hasn't been all that bad lately; this week has been a rather slow week due to the weather getting a little bit colder, so I was able to smoothly ease myself back into the groove of working. I expect it to be getting much busier in a week or two once it warms up.
Anyway, I didn't even roll out of bed until nearly 2 P.M. My parents were gone once again, so I reheated some leftover pastries and enjoyed them on the couch, still in my PJs, stretching and yawning as I munched on them while watching NFL Network. About half an hour later I brushed my teeth - and this is unusual for me, because unlike western culture, Asians (or at least Vietnamese people) brush their teeth first, and then they eat breakfast. For the past month or so I've been breaking the mold and eating breakfast prior to brushing, and I have to admit that it just plain makes sense. Why would you brush your teeth first if they're only going to get dirty again?! Not to mention that everything tastes gross with the aftertaste of toothpaste still in your mouth...
After brushing up, my parents came home, and asked if I wanted to go to Santana Row for dinner before I go to work later that night, and of course, I can never refuse dinner with my parents. I spent about an hour playing Battlefield 3, going 25-6 as I sat in an M1 Abrams for most of the round, earning 2 Combat Efficiency ribbons and a total score of somewhere close to 20,000 points for the round. I then showered and left to get gas, and then met up with my parents after that. We decided to eat at Left Bank, a restaurant that I pass by every day but never really had a chance to try. Despite working on The Row, I always feel underdressed and out-of-placed whenever I'm there, but nonetheless, we had quite a satisfying dinner, if I may say so myself. Worth the high price that comes with dining at an upscale, trendy restaurant? Probably not, but it was nice.
Work was typical, if not a little slow. I'm gradually recognizing more and more of the regulars that come in. I love the look on a customer's face when I greet them with familiarity, especially if it's my first time doing so to them; they always give me a stifled smile and a look as if to say, "Oops, I know that I come here way too often, this is my guilty pleasure, but it's just so good!". Despite it being a somewhat underwhelming day as far as our sales went, the big-ballers definitely showed up tonight: our tip jar was overflowing, and I received two $5 personal tips, which has never happened to me before tonight. Of course, for the sake of fairness, I put the bills back into the tip jar. But still, it was a nice gesture.
After work, I gave my coworker and friend Bernie a ride home since he didn't have one, and since he lives in Milpitas and I hadn't been there for awhile, I decided to go for a brief, yet relaxing cruise around town after dropping him off. There's something about this city that captivates me...but only at night. Something about driving down Main St., past the library, looking at the rows of bright white lamps on either side, the sleek navy-blue and orange street signs at the intersections (which are much neater than the boring green ones that we have), the tranquility and calmness of it all...I just don't get that feeling anywhere else. I don't think there's a place in San Jose that I can go to and drive, and feel as relaxed as I do driving around Milpitas. That, and the 680 at night.
And here I am, five hours later, still awake, listening to acoustics as my eyes begin to close, a melody and a heart full of hope to lull me to sleep, anticipation for what tomorrow may bring. I would stay awake, but I kind of like sleeping. It's only in my dreams that this has already come true, and nothing feels sweeter than that single moment in which you first regain consciousness after a deep slumber and you're awake, but at the same time incapable of making the distinction between dreams and reality. In that moment, these sheets have never felt warmer. In that moment, you are mine.
Until then, I'll stay dreaming.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Slight Work.
Finally got around to installing a couple of things for my baby.
With the help of my buddy Vikram, my HIDs were successfully installed a few days before the new year. I'm really pleased with the color as well as the light output, and I'm definitely glad that I went with 5000K rather than 6000K. About a week later, I finally got around to installing the intake, and after a few hours and an extra set of helping hands from my dad, the car was up-and-running and sounding meaner than ever, with a low, deep growl emitting every time I open up the throttle. Not to mention that it looks kinda nice, too; my mom walked by the garage as my dad and I were working on the car, pointed to the intake, and asked, "What is that? It looks pretty."
I've got a whole lot of plans for her in the future, but for now, I'm rather content with the work I've put in ever since I picked her up nearly a year and a half ago. Yet for some reason, despite all the time I've invested in her lately (I spent nearly two hours washing her last week and was late to picking up my friend), I haven't felt the desire or urge to drive fast anymore. I went up to the hills a few nights ago after work; my parents had once again gone to a party, and it seemed as if everyone was having fun doing their own thing. I just wanted a little "me" time, and normally, this would have involved double-clutching, rev-matching, kicking her into a lower gear and letting her roar as I rip through the corners and curves. That night, though, I just couldn't get into it.
I don't know what's going on. Why put all this time and effort into something if you fail to benefit from it? But maybe there's more to it. And I know I said that 2012 would be "my" year, and as much as I'm trying not to be a debbie downer, something has been different lately. I'll be fine; just give me a few moments to get used to all of these changes.
-Off to class
With the help of my buddy Vikram, my HIDs were successfully installed a few days before the new year. I'm really pleased with the color as well as the light output, and I'm definitely glad that I went with 5000K rather than 6000K. About a week later, I finally got around to installing the intake, and after a few hours and an extra set of helping hands from my dad, the car was up-and-running and sounding meaner than ever, with a low, deep growl emitting every time I open up the throttle. Not to mention that it looks kinda nice, too; my mom walked by the garage as my dad and I were working on the car, pointed to the intake, and asked, "What is that? It looks pretty."
I've got a whole lot of plans for her in the future, but for now, I'm rather content with the work I've put in ever since I picked her up nearly a year and a half ago. Yet for some reason, despite all the time I've invested in her lately (I spent nearly two hours washing her last week and was late to picking up my friend), I haven't felt the desire or urge to drive fast anymore. I went up to the hills a few nights ago after work; my parents had once again gone to a party, and it seemed as if everyone was having fun doing their own thing. I just wanted a little "me" time, and normally, this would have involved double-clutching, rev-matching, kicking her into a lower gear and letting her roar as I rip through the corners and curves. That night, though, I just couldn't get into it.
I don't know what's going on. Why put all this time and effort into something if you fail to benefit from it? But maybe there's more to it. And I know I said that 2012 would be "my" year, and as much as I'm trying not to be a debbie downer, something has been different lately. I'll be fine; just give me a few moments to get used to all of these changes.
-Off to class
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Rise.
I'm a week late. But better late than never, right?
4:12 A.M. Not an unfamiliar time of the day for me by any means, but the circumstances in which I'm surrounded have certainly been strange as of late. I feel as if I've missed out on so much lately: friends I haven't seen for months, my future passing before my eyes, the spirit of the holidays nowhere to be found. Ironically, I didn't feel festive at all until after Christmas had passed, and even that was fleeting; by New Years Eve, I was my old self again, circa 2010, and I had spent the passing of yet another year entrapped in my room, sitting in front of a computer screen, wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was never one to make New Years resolutions. I was never able to keep them, at least not for more than a month or so. This year is a little different. I've made several so far. One involves spending more time with my family; I'm literally out for 12+ hours a day, from the moment I leave my house at 9:50 A.M. for class every morning until I walk through my front door, oftentimes around midnight or perhaps even later, dead tired from work, only to find that my mother had fallen asleep watching TV on the couch, waiting for me to come home. It kills me a little inside, every single time.
I've also taken it upon myself to take more risks. While it may sound cliché, just think about it: how many moments have passed you by, how many opportunities have you missed in the past? Perhaps it was that one person who caught your eye, but whom you never worked up the nerve to say "hi" to. Was it time lost with your loved ones, moments that they will hold forever but you will never know, all because you were too "busy" to spend time with them? Or maybe its that thing, you know, that one thing that you told yourself you'd do someday, but never got around to. That road trip you never went on, the hike that you never took, or even the little things. For instance, I made a vow to "train" myself to become a morning person by going to bed and waking up earlier, and so far, so good; I woke up at 11 A.M. yesterday morning, which is impressive, considering that I normally don't get out of bed until 3 P.M. on days that I don't have class. (Of course, the fact that my restless self is still awake at this very moment just ruined any and all of the progress that I've made.)
Last, but not least, I want to be more open - about myself, my opinions, my emotions, everything. What's ironic is that I used to be an incredibly open person, to the point where I would feel left-out and was even ostracized because I had the tendency to speak my mind in all but the most dire of circumstances. I suppose nobody really wants to know how I feel, 24/7. Since those days, I've bottled up most of the thoughts and feelings that have coursed throughout my body and soul, and nobody really knows much of what's up with me anymore.
These are all things that are going to change, in due time.
Like I said, I've never been one to make resolutions for New Years. This year, though, there's something different. A change in the air. It's electric. I feel as if I've made more progress in the past month than I did over the 11 months of the year that came before that, and it's great. And as much as it scares me to think of what the future might bring, I simply cannot wait to tackle this year head-on and see what is has to offer me, savoring every last moment, good or bad. 2012 will be a breakout year for me. That, I promise to you, and to myself.
That's all for now. I'm going hiking later today. Pz.
4:12 A.M. Not an unfamiliar time of the day for me by any means, but the circumstances in which I'm surrounded have certainly been strange as of late. I feel as if I've missed out on so much lately: friends I haven't seen for months, my future passing before my eyes, the spirit of the holidays nowhere to be found. Ironically, I didn't feel festive at all until after Christmas had passed, and even that was fleeting; by New Years Eve, I was my old self again, circa 2010, and I had spent the passing of yet another year entrapped in my room, sitting in front of a computer screen, wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was never one to make New Years resolutions. I was never able to keep them, at least not for more than a month or so. This year is a little different. I've made several so far. One involves spending more time with my family; I'm literally out for 12+ hours a day, from the moment I leave my house at 9:50 A.M. for class every morning until I walk through my front door, oftentimes around midnight or perhaps even later, dead tired from work, only to find that my mother had fallen asleep watching TV on the couch, waiting for me to come home. It kills me a little inside, every single time.
I've also taken it upon myself to take more risks. While it may sound cliché, just think about it: how many moments have passed you by, how many opportunities have you missed in the past? Perhaps it was that one person who caught your eye, but whom you never worked up the nerve to say "hi" to. Was it time lost with your loved ones, moments that they will hold forever but you will never know, all because you were too "busy" to spend time with them? Or maybe its that thing, you know, that one thing that you told yourself you'd do someday, but never got around to. That road trip you never went on, the hike that you never took, or even the little things. For instance, I made a vow to "train" myself to become a morning person by going to bed and waking up earlier, and so far, so good; I woke up at 11 A.M. yesterday morning, which is impressive, considering that I normally don't get out of bed until 3 P.M. on days that I don't have class. (Of course, the fact that my restless self is still awake at this very moment just ruined any and all of the progress that I've made.)
Last, but not least, I want to be more open - about myself, my opinions, my emotions, everything. What's ironic is that I used to be an incredibly open person, to the point where I would feel left-out and was even ostracized because I had the tendency to speak my mind in all but the most dire of circumstances. I suppose nobody really wants to know how I feel, 24/7. Since those days, I've bottled up most of the thoughts and feelings that have coursed throughout my body and soul, and nobody really knows much of what's up with me anymore.
These are all things that are going to change, in due time.
Like I said, I've never been one to make resolutions for New Years. This year, though, there's something different. A change in the air. It's electric. I feel as if I've made more progress in the past month than I did over the 11 months of the year that came before that, and it's great. And as much as it scares me to think of what the future might bring, I simply cannot wait to tackle this year head-on and see what is has to offer me, savoring every last moment, good or bad. 2012 will be a breakout year for me. That, I promise to you, and to myself.
That's all for now. I'm going hiking later today. Pz.
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