Well, I didn't have time to do a video blog, but I will have one up before I leave on Tuesday, I promise! Anyways, don't mind this, it's just going to be sort of a personal list of reminders for me, but feel free to look at it and see what goes on in my life!
To-Do list:
-Christmas shopping
-Work out
-MAKE-UP WORK
-Video blog about Winterfest/Christmas/vacation
-Plans with Anna & Jesska
-Chill with Tia and Ron, HOOT O_O
-Yogurtland/In-n-Out at least once with Kathryn and/or Mae
-Get a peacoat
-Visit Quiatchon at work and get another caramel coconut smoothie
-Cajun Grill, one more time
-BURRITO AZTECA
-Super T with David Lam
-Visit Bryan at work, get hookups on yogurt, observe cute coworker
-Post a new piano video
-SELL SHOES
-Beat Twilight Princess, start replaying Wind Waker
-Learn "Love Story" for my cousin
-Subscribe to *** on Youtube
-Take a picture for Lookbook
-Go to Christmas in the Park!
Things to bring to SoCal:
-Hella clothes!
-Two+ pairs of shoes
-Hair products
-Two+ pairs of jeans
-One pair of shorts
-Toothbrush
-Toothpaste
-Retainers
-Retainer cleaner
-Backpack/school stuff
-Laptop
-D200
-Video camera
-Tripod
-CHIMPY (my stuffed monkey)
-$$$
-Driver's license/wallet
-iPod
-CHARGERS FOR EVERYTHING
-Presents for everybody (:
I hope I don't forget anything. Goodnight!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Winterfest!
It's finally over! Winterfest, my school's annual winter talent show that has consumed most of my time for the past month or so, is finally over! I'll elaborate more on the details and my thoughts and feelings about it all, but for now, I hope you guys enjoy my performance, which is now up on Youtube! (:
Be back later, and stay warm everyone!
Be back later, and stay warm everyone!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Unbelievable
Even after a couple of days, it's still sinking in.
I have a lot to talk about, and I haven't posted a new video for awhile, so I suppose I'll do that tomorrow! I'm sure it'll be a refreshing change of pace from reading walls of text all the time.
Anyways, it's pretty late, but I'll be back before the day is over to give you guys an update. Stay tuned, and I hope everyone has a brilliant Saturday!
I have a lot to talk about, and I haven't posted a new video for awhile, so I suppose I'll do that tomorrow! I'm sure it'll be a refreshing change of pace from reading walls of text all the time.
Anyways, it's pretty late, but I'll be back before the day is over to give you guys an update. Stay tuned, and I hope everyone has a brilliant Saturday!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Earlybird
Yeah right! They say that the early bird gets the worm, but with a circadian rhythm like this, it's no wonder that I never have anything to eat.
Just a quickie for today, because I really need to hop into bed soon. Anyways, school was ordinary, nothing special about today, except that I got my pass so I can chaperon for the dance concert tomorrow during second, fourth, and fifth periods. Other than that, it was really pretty much a normal day. Oh! Except I felt bad because I didn't hold the door open for this girl (my friend's sister) at the beginning of sixth period. Basically, I saw her walking behind me, but I didn't want to hold the door open because at the distance she was at, I guesstimated that it would have been at least 10 seconds after I got to the door for her to get there. Anyways, long story short, either I misjudged or she caught up really fast, because as soon as the door shut behind me, BAM! She walks in, two seconds later. oops!
Went to Danielle's house with Kelli after school to work on our stress project for psychology, but what was supposed to be "project day" quickly turned into "watch TV and eat spam and eggs day". Luckily Danielle had a bottle of Jufran (the spicy kind), which I was craving so much for after having some last Saturday that I consumed half of the bottle by myself. Sorry for eating so much of the food! Next time we have a project, we're working on it at my house, okay cool. Kelli left with her boyfriend so Danielle and I just played piano, ate ice cream, and watched TV. I almost fell asleep, but I didn't. I left my black Old Navy AA-lookalike jacket there though! oh well.
Anyways, I'm off for now, because WINTERFEST is finally here! In fifteen hours, I'm going to have one of the biggest nights of my life. I could talk on and on and on about Winterfest, but I think I've done that enough. I'll fill in details later, but for now, sleep is calling me.
Goodnight!
Just a quickie for today, because I really need to hop into bed soon. Anyways, school was ordinary, nothing special about today, except that I got my pass so I can chaperon for the dance concert tomorrow during second, fourth, and fifth periods. Other than that, it was really pretty much a normal day. Oh! Except I felt bad because I didn't hold the door open for this girl (my friend's sister) at the beginning of sixth period. Basically, I saw her walking behind me, but I didn't want to hold the door open because at the distance she was at, I guesstimated that it would have been at least 10 seconds after I got to the door for her to get there. Anyways, long story short, either I misjudged or she caught up really fast, because as soon as the door shut behind me, BAM! She walks in, two seconds later. oops!
Went to Danielle's house with Kelli after school to work on our stress project for psychology, but what was supposed to be "project day" quickly turned into "watch TV and eat spam and eggs day". Luckily Danielle had a bottle of Jufran (the spicy kind), which I was craving so much for after having some last Saturday that I consumed half of the bottle by myself. Sorry for eating so much of the food! Next time we have a project, we're working on it at my house, okay cool. Kelli left with her boyfriend so Danielle and I just played piano, ate ice cream, and watched TV. I almost fell asleep, but I didn't. I left my black Old Navy AA-lookalike jacket there though! oh well.
Anyways, I'm off for now, because WINTERFEST is finally here! In fifteen hours, I'm going to have one of the biggest nights of my life. I could talk on and on and on about Winterfest, but I think I've done that enough. I'll fill in details later, but for now, sleep is calling me.
Goodnight!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Loving you is pumpkin pie.
Papas, papas fritas.
2:33 A.M. It feels as if it's been forever since I've last blogged here, even though it was less than a week ago. Times are changing, and it seems as if I never have a moment to sit back and relax anymore, but luckily for me, I don't have much else to do before I head off to bed. I sit here bloated, my back against the cold chair, wondering if you'll wake up anytime soon and going through pictures, which has made me realize that my hair actually was nice on Thanksgiving, and that perhaps I complain too much about things that I shouldn't be worrying about.
There's still a lot on my mind and my chest when it comes to you and I, but for now, I'll hold my tongue. I wonder if I'll ever be given a chance to truly express how I feel, but they say that the greatest joys come in unexpected moments, so I try my best to live my life to the fullest, although without you, the days become darker and the nights colder. But even through the struggles, don't you ever once believe that my faith has waned, because faith is something that I certainly have plenty of.
More and more thoughts begin to fill my mind by the very second, and as of right now, I've begun to wonder how friendships are formed, how they are strengthened, and how they are broken. It seems as if life is an intricate weave, like that of a bracelet, a mutual network of ordinary people bound together by endless webs of emotions and feelings. For the longest time, I've done my best to maintain and strengthen these bonds, but I have also just realized that some of the people who have influenced and inspired me the most in my life are those who aren't around 24/7, each step of the way. Although I have no idea of how I can properly repay these people, rest assured that I am thankful.
Thanksgiving seems to have come late for me this year, but like I like to say, "better late than never." I've always been somewhat of a late bloomer in most aspects of life, everything from learning social graces to developing a "manly" physique, something which many would say that I lack. And as true as that may be, I really have no right to complain. I may not be the tallest, the strongest, the most handsome, the biggest, or the baddest, but hey; for a 5 foot 5, 140 pound guy, I've sure got a lot of heart, and that's something that they'll never take away from me.
They say that Winter is a time for death and rebirth. Checking the time, it's been about 14 minutes since I began writing this blog entry, much shorter than I normally would have taken. Maybe I have nothing interesting to blog about, or perhaps I have nobody to blog for anymore, but just as it was last year, life will surely bloom soon, and when it does, I know that it'll be more vivid and abundant than I've ever imagined. For now, though, all I can do is hang in there. But I'll make it. I'm strong. I know I can. I know I will.
Goodnight!
2:33 A.M. It feels as if it's been forever since I've last blogged here, even though it was less than a week ago. Times are changing, and it seems as if I never have a moment to sit back and relax anymore, but luckily for me, I don't have much else to do before I head off to bed. I sit here bloated, my back against the cold chair, wondering if you'll wake up anytime soon and going through pictures, which has made me realize that my hair actually was nice on Thanksgiving, and that perhaps I complain too much about things that I shouldn't be worrying about.
There's still a lot on my mind and my chest when it comes to you and I, but for now, I'll hold my tongue. I wonder if I'll ever be given a chance to truly express how I feel, but they say that the greatest joys come in unexpected moments, so I try my best to live my life to the fullest, although without you, the days become darker and the nights colder. But even through the struggles, don't you ever once believe that my faith has waned, because faith is something that I certainly have plenty of.
More and more thoughts begin to fill my mind by the very second, and as of right now, I've begun to wonder how friendships are formed, how they are strengthened, and how they are broken. It seems as if life is an intricate weave, like that of a bracelet, a mutual network of ordinary people bound together by endless webs of emotions and feelings. For the longest time, I've done my best to maintain and strengthen these bonds, but I have also just realized that some of the people who have influenced and inspired me the most in my life are those who aren't around 24/7, each step of the way. Although I have no idea of how I can properly repay these people, rest assured that I am thankful.
Thanksgiving seems to have come late for me this year, but like I like to say, "better late than never." I've always been somewhat of a late bloomer in most aspects of life, everything from learning social graces to developing a "manly" physique, something which many would say that I lack. And as true as that may be, I really have no right to complain. I may not be the tallest, the strongest, the most handsome, the biggest, or the baddest, but hey; for a 5 foot 5, 140 pound guy, I've sure got a lot of heart, and that's something that they'll never take away from me.
They say that Winter is a time for death and rebirth. Checking the time, it's been about 14 minutes since I began writing this blog entry, much shorter than I normally would have taken. Maybe I have nothing interesting to blog about, or perhaps I have nobody to blog for anymore, but just as it was last year, life will surely bloom soon, and when it does, I know that it'll be more vivid and abundant than I've ever imagined. For now, though, all I can do is hang in there. But I'll make it. I'm strong. I know I can. I know I will.
Goodnight!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Why?
Because I am not your average 17-year-old boy. Because I do not care what other people say about you. Because I am good enough, no matter what anyone else thinks. Because I have no one to impress but myself. Because I find interest in things that would put most people to sleep. Because I express myself in more ways than one, always broadening my horizons. Because my parents raised me right, and told me to work hard. Because my grandma prays for me every night, in hopes that I’d find someone like you. Because I know you, inside and out. Because even all these months later, after numerous letdowns and unmet expectations, I still believe. Because all these months later, I still burn. Because I know that long after your feelings for me have faded, my feelings for you will still live on. Because I give to you things that I would not even consider giving to any other. Because I am always here, whenever you need it, despite whatever arguments or setbacks we may have had just a day or two ago. Because I put up with both your nonsense and silliness, your arrogance and your loving. Because I know that you’re not ready, but I still stay, waiting for the day that you are. Because we don’t see eye to eye, partially because I am taller than you. Because you won’t find another who will talk to you the way that you talk, in silly phrases and random thoughts. Because I know exactly what you mean, even if all you say is one imaginary word. Because I know you felt it, too, but are still too scared to stick with me. Because I know you’re too scared, but I stick with it anyway. Because I have given so much and gained so little, yet every moment with you was dearly cherished. Because I felt like shit every time I tried to talk to another girl to make me feel better. Because I gave up all of those girls, knowing that none of them will ever be able to give them what you have given me. Because I want you to be free, yet in the end, you find your way back to me. Because I want you to be independent, yet I’m the one who has helped you stay strong and stand on your own two feet for so long. Because I know you can be strong your own, but you would be strong with me. Because I know your day would be boring without me. Because I know you’ll still have other people to talk to when I’m gone, but you know it won’t be the same. Because I go <—, and you go —>, but we both want to go ^. Because you’re too scared to hold my hand on the way up, even though it’s been here for so long. Because you know it’s still going to be there when you want it. Because both losing me and getting me back were some of the happiest moments you’ve ever had. Because you want someone to make you happy again, but don’t want to committ. Because I know that one day, you will be able to put your whole heart and soul into something much more beautiful than the last. Because I want that something to be me, but there are so many things in the way. Because I honestly wish that you were still with your last, for I have never seen you as happy as you were back then. Because I try, so hard to be your next great wonder. Because I’ve started every sentence with “because”, I’m going to stop. Because (oops, I did it again) I know that blogging my feelings will probably not change anything, but still, I do, just in case. Because even if we stop talking, I am not going to let it end on bad terms. Because I am breaking apart inside. Because despite our different paths, I know we have the same destination, and I am willing and able, certainly capable of quitting this habit of going against you. Because I want to work with you to help you overcome all that you are dealing with FIRST, and then if you’d let me, to work with you on what we would both like to build, together. Because I know that somewhere in your temporarily cold and empty heart, you still have a spot for me, and that the only reason I am not there right now is due to you being stuck, confused, and scared of starting something that you are unsure of. Because I am scared too, but I realize that I have to risk something if I ever want to get anywhere. Because I am willing to go through the pain if I know there is a chance of endless happiness on the other side. Because even though I am scared, you make me feel completely safe. Because I know that you deserve happiness, and that’s the damn truth and you know it.
“i’m not sure what you should do, but i’ll make sure you end up happy.”
Right back at ya.
Oh, and because I'd still be your friend and I'd still love you even if you were fat and all you wanted was for me to take you to buffets every day and night. <3
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Alive
One of my favorite songs, you already know.
I know it's not quite over yet, but I have to say that this weekend is turning out to be a pretty good one, even if it's not all for the right reasons. But hey, when life throws you a bone, who's to complain?
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were by far some of the best school days I've had this entire year, despite the fact that I was running on maybe three or four hours of sleep on each of those days. Wednesday was the day that I had been waiting for since I auditioned, and just my luck: I made it into Winterfest. More details on that later, but I also had my piano recital that day. I had my piece down cold, and decided to take a nap, only to wake up an hour before the show started and having to rush my way to school. Still, I finished the night off well, and even though I wasn't completely satisfied with my performance, the crowd sure seemed to have loved it.
Thursday was a somewhat typical day, although I was more talkative in most of my class than I normally am and also began to make some new friends. A Winterfest meeting was held at lunch, but nothing important was really discussed besides rehearsal. Friday was the day, and in lieu of sitting through 50 minutes of staring at a book of Brahm's works, I decided to head home at lunch and catch up on sleep before the night began. Sadly, I ended up distraced by Pirates of the Caribbean and Formspring Friday #5, and actually managed to get very little sleep at all.
Friday night was definitely one to remember. It was my first time at another school's dance, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that I wasn't the least bit nervous, but I soon forgot all about it. I had a couple of miscues throughout the night; I made a lot of trips to the bathroom, stepped on a lot of toes, and to be honest, I wasn't really happy with how I looked in the couples picture, although I didn't get a good look at it and I'll have to see the actual copy until I pass judgment. Still it was a new experience for me, and afterwards we unwinded with something that everybody is familiar with: Wingstop. I also learned that I'm the only one who likes original hot. Boo-urns. Oh well, more for me!
Saturday was perhaps one of the most productive Saturdays I've had in awhile. What I had expected to be a failure of a piano lesson turned out to be my most productive one yet as we spent nearly an hour working on my medley for Winterfest. I headed to Great Mall later in the evening, and while my parents were visiting my grandma (who lives in Milpitas), I was able to catch up with some friends that I haven't really talked to in awhile, some of which I bumped into unexpectedly. I ended up buying nothing, but I learned that coconut caramel smoothies are pretty damn delicious, and that I get a discount despite only having known the employees for about half an hour. Good stuff, good stuff!
I'm pretty pooped right now, and hopefully Sunday will be my lazy day to just unwind and relax. Anyways, thanks for Friday night! And for taking me to my first, but hopefully not my last, dance at another school. I hope you had fun, and sorry that you didn't win, but it's okay: you're still a queen to me and you are definitely more deserving of that title than any other girl on the dance floor that night in my eyes, even long after we arrived at home, sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on. Hope you're sleeping well right now in your small ass bed that you can roll over thrice times on before you fall off, and don't let the bedbugs facepalm!
I know it's not quite over yet, but I have to say that this weekend is turning out to be a pretty good one, even if it's not all for the right reasons. But hey, when life throws you a bone, who's to complain?
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were by far some of the best school days I've had this entire year, despite the fact that I was running on maybe three or four hours of sleep on each of those days. Wednesday was the day that I had been waiting for since I auditioned, and just my luck: I made it into Winterfest. More details on that later, but I also had my piano recital that day. I had my piece down cold, and decided to take a nap, only to wake up an hour before the show started and having to rush my way to school. Still, I finished the night off well, and even though I wasn't completely satisfied with my performance, the crowd sure seemed to have loved it.
Thursday was a somewhat typical day, although I was more talkative in most of my class than I normally am and also began to make some new friends. A Winterfest meeting was held at lunch, but nothing important was really discussed besides rehearsal. Friday was the day, and in lieu of sitting through 50 minutes of staring at a book of Brahm's works, I decided to head home at lunch and catch up on sleep before the night began. Sadly, I ended up distraced by Pirates of the Caribbean and Formspring Friday #5, and actually managed to get very little sleep at all.
Friday night was definitely one to remember. It was my first time at another school's dance, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that I wasn't the least bit nervous, but I soon forgot all about it. I had a couple of miscues throughout the night; I made a lot of trips to the bathroom, stepped on a lot of toes, and to be honest, I wasn't really happy with how I looked in the couples picture, although I didn't get a good look at it and I'll have to see the actual copy until I pass judgment. Still it was a new experience for me, and afterwards we unwinded with something that everybody is familiar with: Wingstop. I also learned that I'm the only one who likes original hot. Boo-urns. Oh well, more for me!
Saturday was perhaps one of the most productive Saturdays I've had in awhile. What I had expected to be a failure of a piano lesson turned out to be my most productive one yet as we spent nearly an hour working on my medley for Winterfest. I headed to Great Mall later in the evening, and while my parents were visiting my grandma (who lives in Milpitas), I was able to catch up with some friends that I haven't really talked to in awhile, some of which I bumped into unexpectedly. I ended up buying nothing, but I learned that coconut caramel smoothies are pretty damn delicious, and that I get a discount despite only having known the employees for about half an hour. Good stuff, good stuff!
I'm pretty pooped right now, and hopefully Sunday will be my lazy day to just unwind and relax. Anyways, thanks for Friday night! And for taking me to my first, but hopefully not my last, dance at another school. I hope you had fun, and sorry that you didn't win, but it's okay: you're still a queen to me and you are definitely more deserving of that title than any other girl on the dance floor that night in my eyes, even long after we arrived at home, sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on. Hope you're sleeping well right now in your small ass bed that you can roll over thrice times on before you fall off, and don't let the bedbugs facepalm!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Natural High
About half an hour ago, I was scared shitless because I heard some odd noises coming from the other half of the house. First, what sounded like papers skittering, followed by a loud thump and then a slight screech. Well, turns out it was just my dad in the kitchen, being hungry; thanks a bunch -__-
Anyways, I'm excited. My left eye itches, as does my right wrist, and my face is dry. I'll return when I can actually process my thoughts properly, but let's just say that tomorrow will be a great day.
Don't forget! FORMSPRING FRIDAY #5 tomorrow!
la la lalallal
Anyways, I'm excited. My left eye itches, as does my right wrist, and my face is dry. I'll return when I can actually process my thoughts properly, but let's just say that tomorrow will be a great day.
Don't forget! FORMSPRING FRIDAY #5 tomorrow!
la la lalallal
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Decembrrrr
Oy vey! I know this is late again, as are all of my other congratulatory exclamations, but happy Decembrrritscold to everybody! Or, as my Facebook would say, as I have it set to Pirate English: DecembARRRR! Get it? Get it?! Okay, no, you don't get it...
Anyways, apologies for the picture-less post again. I really haven't been doing too much photography work lately as I've been really busy with some other stuff. I did shoot some nice stuff over the Thanksgiving break (mostly Turkey, of course), but I have yet to upload the pictures, so that'll have to wait. But for now, let's talk, shall we?
I don't consider myself a superstitious person by any means, but before the day started on Tuesday, I told myself that I would start December off right and end the year on a good note. Taking that into consideration, I'm hoping that the rest of this month will be much more exiciting than the first day, because that was a snoozer, literally.
Being the sleep-deprived individual as I am led me to fall asleep in half of my classes today. The worst of it probably came during third period, which is my psychology class. We've been discussing altered states of conciousness lately, and today we were each given a unique glass marble to observe. We started off with a few breathing exercises, and then focused on solely the marble; not only on what it is, but what it embodies. After that, we were told to close our eyes and meditate as our teacher verbally placed images of soothing shorelines and cooling wings in our minds. Well, as you've probably guessed by now, my "meditation" time quickly turned into nap time, and I was woken up at the end of the period by the sound of my teacher's voice saying "Oh, looks like Mikey's gone, too!" I jerked awake and mumbled a "huh?", to which she replied "Oh hey, I guess he's still a little bit awake." I shut my eyes again and drifted back to sleep. Sorry Ms. Williams!
Luckily for me, I was able to secure time for a two-hour nap this evening, something which I didn't have the luxury of enjoying yesterday. There are a lot of big events coming up soon which I'm really looking forward to. I have a piano recital later this evening at 6:45, which should be a piece of cake, but nonetheless, it's something to prepare for. Also, the list of performers for WINTERFEST will be posted up at school today, and I'm quite anxious to find out whether or not I made it in. Connie, Bianca, and Anthony all made comments and asked me questions about Winterfest today, which only made me more anxious, but I'm hopeful. Winter Wonderland is on Friday after school, but I don't think I'll be going. I recall I stopped by last year for about half an hour (I was wearing a maroon Heritage windbreaker, a white t-shirt, Levi 514s, and all white Nike Legends; don't ask how I remember!), and it definitely wasn't worth the time nor the money, not to mention that Milpitas High School's Winter Ball is also on the same date, so of course, I'll want to be as rested as I can for that and ready to rock with you, alllll nightttttt.
And ah, of course, Formspring Fridays! I haven't really promoted this through my Blogspot, mainly because I know hardly anybody ever checks it anymore, and Tumblr is a much more effective method of communication as far as blogging goes. Still, all of my deepest thoughts and feelings are captured through Blogspot, and I definitely will continue to blog here about the significant things in my life. Moving on, Formspring Friday is a a little program I have where I answer your submitted questions in weekly installments of video blogs on Youtube. I feel that this gives both my friends and my fans and supporters on Youtube an opportunity to get to know me better and ask me things that they may not have the courage to ask me in person. In essence, this is my way of connecting with you, the viewer, in a form other than my music.
Well, the bad news about that is that I haven't been getting that many good questions lately. Now, please understand that I do appreciate everybody who supports my Youtube channel and what I do, and I enjoy answering questions, but when people start to submit questions such as "Hey, can you give me a shoutout? Thanks" or "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM BAD BOYS?", it really starts to get on my nerves. Please remember that Youtube only allows me 10 minutes per video, and I would rather not have to edit out your question because you wasted my time.
On the contrary, I do get some excellent questions, such as inquiries regarding what my childhood was like or how long I have been into music and what I hope to achieve and accomplish by pursuing and developing my musical passion. Now those are the kinds of questions that I find interesting and absolutely love to answer.
So there you have it! For anybody reading this, please feel free to submit a question to my Formspring, which I shall link you to at the bottom of this blog post, and also feel free to check out my videos on Youtube if you haven't already, and which I will also provide a link to. Remember! Ask me something deep and insightful, and your answer will be deep and insightful in return. However, if you really want a shoutout, please just contact me through AIM, Youtube, email, or even leave a comment on my Blogspot. I would really prefer that you not submit a Formspring question just for that. But yeah, keep 'em coming guys!
As of now, it's 2:36 A.M., and I really need to be getting some shut-eye. Apologies for the long post, although this is rather short by my standards, but I suppose I only feel that way due to my avid love for reading and writing. Until the next time, take it easy guys. Deuces!
FORMSPRING: http://www.formspring.com/forms/?739017-6thUYlGy1B
YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/mkyEND
Anyways, apologies for the picture-less post again. I really haven't been doing too much photography work lately as I've been really busy with some other stuff. I did shoot some nice stuff over the Thanksgiving break (mostly Turkey, of course), but I have yet to upload the pictures, so that'll have to wait. But for now, let's talk, shall we?
I don't consider myself a superstitious person by any means, but before the day started on Tuesday, I told myself that I would start December off right and end the year on a good note. Taking that into consideration, I'm hoping that the rest of this month will be much more exiciting than the first day, because that was a snoozer, literally.
Being the sleep-deprived individual as I am led me to fall asleep in half of my classes today. The worst of it probably came during third period, which is my psychology class. We've been discussing altered states of conciousness lately, and today we were each given a unique glass marble to observe. We started off with a few breathing exercises, and then focused on solely the marble; not only on what it is, but what it embodies. After that, we were told to close our eyes and meditate as our teacher verbally placed images of soothing shorelines and cooling wings in our minds. Well, as you've probably guessed by now, my "meditation" time quickly turned into nap time, and I was woken up at the end of the period by the sound of my teacher's voice saying "Oh, looks like Mikey's gone, too!" I jerked awake and mumbled a "huh?", to which she replied "Oh hey, I guess he's still a little bit awake." I shut my eyes again and drifted back to sleep. Sorry Ms. Williams!
Luckily for me, I was able to secure time for a two-hour nap this evening, something which I didn't have the luxury of enjoying yesterday. There are a lot of big events coming up soon which I'm really looking forward to. I have a piano recital later this evening at 6:45, which should be a piece of cake, but nonetheless, it's something to prepare for. Also, the list of performers for WINTERFEST will be posted up at school today, and I'm quite anxious to find out whether or not I made it in. Connie, Bianca, and Anthony all made comments and asked me questions about Winterfest today, which only made me more anxious, but I'm hopeful. Winter Wonderland is on Friday after school, but I don't think I'll be going. I recall I stopped by last year for about half an hour (I was wearing a maroon Heritage windbreaker, a white t-shirt, Levi 514s, and all white Nike Legends; don't ask how I remember!), and it definitely wasn't worth the time nor the money, not to mention that Milpitas High School's Winter Ball is also on the same date, so of course, I'll want to be as rested as I can for that and ready to rock with you, alllll nightttttt.
And ah, of course, Formspring Fridays! I haven't really promoted this through my Blogspot, mainly because I know hardly anybody ever checks it anymore, and Tumblr is a much more effective method of communication as far as blogging goes. Still, all of my deepest thoughts and feelings are captured through Blogspot, and I definitely will continue to blog here about the significant things in my life. Moving on, Formspring Friday is a a little program I have where I answer your submitted questions in weekly installments of video blogs on Youtube. I feel that this gives both my friends and my fans and supporters on Youtube an opportunity to get to know me better and ask me things that they may not have the courage to ask me in person. In essence, this is my way of connecting with you, the viewer, in a form other than my music.
Well, the bad news about that is that I haven't been getting that many good questions lately. Now, please understand that I do appreciate everybody who supports my Youtube channel and what I do, and I enjoy answering questions, but when people start to submit questions such as "Hey, can you give me a shoutout? Thanks" or "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM BAD BOYS?", it really starts to get on my nerves. Please remember that Youtube only allows me 10 minutes per video, and I would rather not have to edit out your question because you wasted my time.
On the contrary, I do get some excellent questions, such as inquiries regarding what my childhood was like or how long I have been into music and what I hope to achieve and accomplish by pursuing and developing my musical passion. Now those are the kinds of questions that I find interesting and absolutely love to answer.
So there you have it! For anybody reading this, please feel free to submit a question to my Formspring, which I shall link you to at the bottom of this blog post, and also feel free to check out my videos on Youtube if you haven't already, and which I will also provide a link to. Remember! Ask me something deep and insightful, and your answer will be deep and insightful in return. However, if you really want a shoutout, please just contact me through AIM, Youtube, email, or even leave a comment on my Blogspot. I would really prefer that you not submit a Formspring question just for that. But yeah, keep 'em coming guys!
As of now, it's 2:36 A.M., and I really need to be getting some shut-eye. Apologies for the long post, although this is rather short by my standards, but I suppose I only feel that way due to my avid love for reading and writing. Until the next time, take it easy guys. Deuces!
FORMSPRING: http://www.formspring.com/forms/?739017-6thUYlGy1B
YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/mkyEND
Monday, November 30, 2009
Quiet.
Hello! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed their break from school, or for some of you, work. The time off was nice and definitely much-needed. I can't believe it's Monday already! I already feel like I need another vacation.
This Thanksgiving was the quietest Thanksgiving by far for me, in more ways than one. Still, the food was nice and seeing my family come together again is always a plus. I only pray that things will begin to liven up soon; Lord knows the silence kills me more than any words can.
Unfortunately, I put on about 5 pounds over the course of my Thanksgiving break, and being the paranoid individual that I am, I'm going to bed tonight with nothing but water in my stomach. My goal for this week? Get fit, get a haircut, and keep on chugging along as I try to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.
Star Wars Episode V is a good movie. I'm disappointed that the Steelers lost tonight, but good effort. I'm hoping the Patriots will win tomorrow, and the Packers next Monday. I don't know when I'm scheduled to have my wisdom teeth removed. My mom owes me $5, but she said she'll pay me back $20. There are so many things I want to do and see before the year is over. Most of all, though, I want to feel like this again:
Miss Independent...
This Thanksgiving was the quietest Thanksgiving by far for me, in more ways than one. Still, the food was nice and seeing my family come together again is always a plus. I only pray that things will begin to liven up soon; Lord knows the silence kills me more than any words can.
Unfortunately, I put on about 5 pounds over the course of my Thanksgiving break, and being the paranoid individual that I am, I'm going to bed tonight with nothing but water in my stomach. My goal for this week? Get fit, get a haircut, and keep on chugging along as I try to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.
Star Wars Episode V is a good movie. I'm disappointed that the Steelers lost tonight, but good effort. I'm hoping the Patriots will win tomorrow, and the Packers next Monday. I don't know when I'm scheduled to have my wisdom teeth removed. My mom owes me $5, but she said she'll pay me back $20. There are so many things I want to do and see before the year is over. Most of all, though, I want to feel like this again:
Miss Independent...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Replay
Na na na na, every day...
I really do not know what I was trying to accomplish with my previous blog post. I suppose it was a bleak attempt at relieving my stress and trying to rationalize and justify these insecure feelings of mine, but truth is, I've known what was wrong all along.
I just miss you. That's all there really is too it. I know it's the holiday season, and you're spending a lot of quality time with your family, and for that, I'm happy for you. I love my family, and I know I would want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. I don't blame you, nor am I asking you to stop enjoying your time with them, but when it comes right down to it, the fact that we haven't had much time for each other lately has been driving me insane. I miss your goodmorning/goodnight texts, your little jokes and stories that you would always tell me, the way that you would always talk to me with so much enthusiasm. You were the only one who really showed a genuine, heartfelt interest in me, and I can't fathom what life would be like without you.
I know it may seem like it, but I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for you to spend 24/7, 365 talking to me, being with me, telling me that you miss me. I may complain about you not texting back, and I may constantly wonder where you are, who you're with, asking about other guys, afraid that you'll fall for someone new, but in the end, I'm not asking you to change. I'm not asking you to cater to my needs. No, I just want you to understand that the things I do both for and to you are all done out of love.
Of course, I do have needs, and so do you. After all, we're only human. And to be honest? No. No, you don't fulfill my needs. Not as much as I'd like you to, although during the times when you do try to, it is always more than enough. But that's beside the point, and all selfishness aside, I hope you know that I am always trying, willing and able to do anything and everything in my power to cater to your needs, simply because ever since the day we first met, I knew that there hidden beneath your beautiful exterior was an even more beautiful heart and soul, and I would do anything to make you smile, because I truly believe you are worth it. Whether you like it or not, agree or disagree, that's the way it is.
So no matter how annoying I might get or how much I might nag and be nosy, I hope you can understand that it's simply a result of my loneliness, the emptiness that I feel when I'm without you, and not because I'm trying to push you away. No, you're the only one I'm going to be catering to, no matter how much you may dislike me at the moment. There is no one above you.
With all that off my chest, I need to get some sleep. I hope the wind has stopped scaring you, and oh,
I miss you, AJAA.
Like my iPod stuck on Replay...
I really do not know what I was trying to accomplish with my previous blog post. I suppose it was a bleak attempt at relieving my stress and trying to rationalize and justify these insecure feelings of mine, but truth is, I've known what was wrong all along.
I just miss you. That's all there really is too it. I know it's the holiday season, and you're spending a lot of quality time with your family, and for that, I'm happy for you. I love my family, and I know I would want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. I don't blame you, nor am I asking you to stop enjoying your time with them, but when it comes right down to it, the fact that we haven't had much time for each other lately has been driving me insane. I miss your goodmorning/goodnight texts, your little jokes and stories that you would always tell me, the way that you would always talk to me with so much enthusiasm. You were the only one who really showed a genuine, heartfelt interest in me, and I can't fathom what life would be like without you.
I know it may seem like it, but I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for you to spend 24/7, 365 talking to me, being with me, telling me that you miss me. I may complain about you not texting back, and I may constantly wonder where you are, who you're with, asking about other guys, afraid that you'll fall for someone new, but in the end, I'm not asking you to change. I'm not asking you to cater to my needs. No, I just want you to understand that the things I do both for and to you are all done out of love.
Of course, I do have needs, and so do you. After all, we're only human. And to be honest? No. No, you don't fulfill my needs. Not as much as I'd like you to, although during the times when you do try to, it is always more than enough. But that's beside the point, and all selfishness aside, I hope you know that I am always trying, willing and able to do anything and everything in my power to cater to your needs, simply because ever since the day we first met, I knew that there hidden beneath your beautiful exterior was an even more beautiful heart and soul, and I would do anything to make you smile, because I truly believe you are worth it. Whether you like it or not, agree or disagree, that's the way it is.
So no matter how annoying I might get or how much I might nag and be nosy, I hope you can understand that it's simply a result of my loneliness, the emptiness that I feel when I'm without you, and not because I'm trying to push you away. No, you're the only one I'm going to be catering to, no matter how much you may dislike me at the moment. There is no one above you.
With all that off my chest, I need to get some sleep. I hope the wind has stopped scaring you, and oh,
I miss you, AJAA.
Like my iPod stuck on Replay...
Spartan.
*apologies in advance for the picture-less post
Happy belated Thanksgiving! It seems I'm always behind when it comes to celebrating occasions, but then again, I've always found events much more enjoyable when you arrive fashionably late. As a matter of fact, in the past year of blogging, I don't think I've ever said "happy _____" until a day or two after it took place. Sorry guys!
I have always thought Thanksgiving to be somewhat of a pointless holiday. I have much to be thankful for, but why wait until the fourth Thursday of every November to show it? To me, nothing is guaranteed. The house I live in, the shoes I wear, all of these worldly possessions of mine may be gone tomorrow, as far as I know. My spirit is imbued with passion, and although my life my boggle and slow at times, my heart is never idle. I've done my best to show, every day, that I am thankful for the things I have been blessed with, whether it's as simple as a ride home from school to something as warm as your beautiful brown eyes (assuming you're using clear contacts and/or glasses).
Yet on a day when the entire world decides to take the time to show their gratitude, why is it that I cannot bring myself to do so? Why is it that I tell myself day after day that I have the entire world in the palm of my hand, yet I spent my Thanksgiving feeling as if I had nothing at all? Perhaps it's the lack of attention, because I admit, I love to be cared for and nurtured. Maybe it's jealousy; after all, I am human, and when I feel replaced, my natural reaction is to cry out. Or quite possibly, it may be the fact that I simply grow weary, not of just lack of attention or jealousy, anger or rage, but because of my life as a whole. I have always been one to work and strive for my goals, yet lately, I feel as if I have accomplished nothing. Days are bleak and nights are long. The world is spinning and I am standing still.
Ever since the day I was born, I was taught by my parents, siblings, and grandmother to be strong. To persevere through doubt, to push myself through the pain, that was what it was all about. And for the past...well, since as long as I can remember, I've tried doing that. I've tried, yet still, I fail. When I stand tall, the world pushes me down, and when I try to rise up, my knees begin to crumble. Even as I type this, my mind is breaking down, decomposing into a hundred macaroni-shaped pink bits of flesh and nerve that simply cannot function.
For years, I've tried to be the strong one, but even Hercules himself needs a support system once in awhile. I don't know how much longer I can carry on, but I do know that I'll continue to do my best and stay strong, for both your sake and mine. How long I can keep this up is dependent on a lot of things
2:11 A.M. : And just like that, my mind goes blank again. I'll finish this up later. I'm craving a brownie, and some milk. I'll be back tomorrow. Deuces until then.
Happy belated Thanksgiving! It seems I'm always behind when it comes to celebrating occasions, but then again, I've always found events much more enjoyable when you arrive fashionably late. As a matter of fact, in the past year of blogging, I don't think I've ever said "happy _____" until a day or two after it took place. Sorry guys!
I have always thought Thanksgiving to be somewhat of a pointless holiday. I have much to be thankful for, but why wait until the fourth Thursday of every November to show it? To me, nothing is guaranteed. The house I live in, the shoes I wear, all of these worldly possessions of mine may be gone tomorrow, as far as I know. My spirit is imbued with passion, and although my life my boggle and slow at times, my heart is never idle. I've done my best to show, every day, that I am thankful for the things I have been blessed with, whether it's as simple as a ride home from school to something as warm as your beautiful brown eyes (assuming you're using clear contacts and/or glasses).
Yet on a day when the entire world decides to take the time to show their gratitude, why is it that I cannot bring myself to do so? Why is it that I tell myself day after day that I have the entire world in the palm of my hand, yet I spent my Thanksgiving feeling as if I had nothing at all? Perhaps it's the lack of attention, because I admit, I love to be cared for and nurtured. Maybe it's jealousy; after all, I am human, and when I feel replaced, my natural reaction is to cry out. Or quite possibly, it may be the fact that I simply grow weary, not of just lack of attention or jealousy, anger or rage, but because of my life as a whole. I have always been one to work and strive for my goals, yet lately, I feel as if I have accomplished nothing. Days are bleak and nights are long. The world is spinning and I am standing still.
Ever since the day I was born, I was taught by my parents, siblings, and grandmother to be strong. To persevere through doubt, to push myself through the pain, that was what it was all about. And for the past...well, since as long as I can remember, I've tried doing that. I've tried, yet still, I fail. When I stand tall, the world pushes me down, and when I try to rise up, my knees begin to crumble. Even as I type this, my mind is breaking down, decomposing into a hundred macaroni-shaped pink bits of flesh and nerve that simply cannot function.
For years, I've tried to be the strong one, but even Hercules himself needs a support system once in awhile. I don't know how much longer I can carry on, but I do know that I'll continue to do my best and stay strong, for both your sake and mine. How long I can keep this up is dependent on a lot of things
2:11 A.M. : And just like that, my mind goes blank again. I'll finish this up later. I'm craving a brownie, and some milk. I'll be back tomorrow. Deuces until then.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
AJAA
Good morning! Here's a little gift from me to you.
So unfortunately, technology hasn't progressed far enough to allow me to send physical items through computer screens yet, but if it could, this is what you would have in your hands right now. My mom's coworker gave her a $50 gift card to Godiva, so she decided to buy these two boxes of delicious chocolates. These always remind me of you because I think of your dog whenever I see the name.
You're fast asleep now, and I hope you're having cool dreams about cool beans. I still have to tell you the dream that I had earlier today when I napped. I don't remember much anymore, but you were in it, and it was really weird! Well, I guess anything with you in it is really weird. Haha, just kidding. Well, not really, but I don't mind your weirdness. That's what sets you apart! You're not like everybody else in the sense that what goes on in your mind is an enigma that even the most brilliant mathematicians in the world cannot solve, much less a humble servant like myself. I can barely even solve a standard Rubik's Cube!
Hopefully you had fun texting earlier tonight, heh. It's always nice when this occassion pops up out of nowhere, like a surprise assembly at school which allows you to skip a period or two. Sorry for putting you to sleep, but you know you're welcome to call or text me at any hour of the day for any reason, even if it's just to say, "hi." Surprises are neat, but you're neater.
Since everything always seems to wrap up well at the end of my days, I figure that's how I should end my blog as well. I hope you had a great day today, watching your Lifetime movies and hanging out with your nayburd. I really enjoy seeing you smile, because someone as beautiful as you should never have a reason to frown, no matter what. Should a reason for sadness ever pop up in your life, you should know that you're free to talk to me about anything and everything, although it's my deepest and most secret wish (shh!) that I shouldn't just be the person you come to in times of need, but also your number one reason for smiling.
I really need to get to bed, because it's 2:34 A.M. and I have school in five hours. Luckily for me, my mom let me skip first period, seeing as how it's a minimum day and the day before Thanksgiving. My entire family is getting off work at noon tomorrow, and my sister and I are planning to go to the park to walk the dog. Would you like to come? Hm, maybe I should ask you personally instead of over my stupid blog. Well, you can expect a text tomorrow morning, probably in your first period. Goodnight!
P.S. I'm really excited for Winter Ball.
So unfortunately, technology hasn't progressed far enough to allow me to send physical items through computer screens yet, but if it could, this is what you would have in your hands right now. My mom's coworker gave her a $50 gift card to Godiva, so she decided to buy these two boxes of delicious chocolates. These always remind me of you because I think of your dog whenever I see the name.
You're fast asleep now, and I hope you're having cool dreams about cool beans. I still have to tell you the dream that I had earlier today when I napped. I don't remember much anymore, but you were in it, and it was really weird! Well, I guess anything with you in it is really weird. Haha, just kidding. Well, not really, but I don't mind your weirdness. That's what sets you apart! You're not like everybody else in the sense that what goes on in your mind is an enigma that even the most brilliant mathematicians in the world cannot solve, much less a humble servant like myself. I can barely even solve a standard Rubik's Cube!
Hopefully you had fun texting earlier tonight, heh. It's always nice when this occassion pops up out of nowhere, like a surprise assembly at school which allows you to skip a period or two. Sorry for putting you to sleep, but you know you're welcome to call or text me at any hour of the day for any reason, even if it's just to say, "hi." Surprises are neat, but you're neater.
Since everything always seems to wrap up well at the end of my days, I figure that's how I should end my blog as well. I hope you had a great day today, watching your Lifetime movies and hanging out with your nayburd. I really enjoy seeing you smile, because someone as beautiful as you should never have a reason to frown, no matter what. Should a reason for sadness ever pop up in your life, you should know that you're free to talk to me about anything and everything, although it's my deepest and most secret wish (shh!) that I shouldn't just be the person you come to in times of need, but also your number one reason for smiling.
I really need to get to bed, because it's 2:34 A.M. and I have school in five hours. Luckily for me, my mom let me skip first period, seeing as how it's a minimum day and the day before Thanksgiving. My entire family is getting off work at noon tomorrow, and my sister and I are planning to go to the park to walk the dog. Would you like to come? Hm, maybe I should ask you personally instead of over my stupid blog. Well, you can expect a text tomorrow morning, probably in your first period. Goodnight!
P.S. I'm really excited for Winter Ball.
Friday, November 20, 2009
coolbeans are good for your heart
hello, i hacked! and don't worry, i still come back here everyday, so it's not as lonely as it seems. anyways, i see that picture down there. i'm ugz! (maybe its because im from austrailia..) aha just kidding! i know this picture of me is kinda whack. i don't know what else to say, since i gotta go. meebo's blinking and you're complaining how my story was too short, so i have to tell you a better one.
[22:44] SJ Lazy Boy: Your story was too short!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Setsetsetsetset
I remember the day you first told me,
Oh, hello Amery Agustin! If you're reading this, that means you've decided to visit my Blogspot again, heh. You know, it's so lonely now that you're on Tumblr, because it seems like nobody ever reads this anymore. Anyways, here's the picture of us that you said you liked and I always told you that I hated it. Well, I decided to post this up, just for the heck of it. Hope you're happy! (:
Oh, hello Amery Agustin! If you're reading this, that means you've decided to visit my Blogspot again, heh. You know, it's so lonely now that you're on Tumblr, because it seems like nobody ever reads this anymore. Anyways, here's the picture of us that you said you liked and I always told you that I hated it. Well, I decided to post this up, just for the heck of it. Hope you're happy! (:
Flashback
What's with me and reminiscing these days?
I was looking in my favorites list on Youtube just a few minutes ago (on my very first account, not mkyEND) and I saw that this was the very first video that I ever favorited. It's been awhile! This is obviously from Initial D First Stage, and is one of the most recognized and renowned scenes from the anime.
Quick history lesson: I began watching Initial D when I was in fourth grade, or around 2001 or so. Just for reference, I believe the anime began in 1998 or 1999, so at the time it was still relatively new to the world. I was about nine years old at a time when a friend of mine, who I watched A LOT of anime together with, mentioned the series, and I decided to check it out. Something about it struck a chord, because after the first episode, I was mesmerized and simply had to continue watching.
And so I did. First Stage, Second Stage, Third Stage, more and more. I watched all the Initial D I could get (up until the end of Fourth Stage, the most recent canonical season of the series), and although I can't remember many of the specific details, I can clearly remember the enthusiasm and endless fantasies that the series brought into my mind, and even though I knew very little about cars at the time, the entire concept of an anime series based on the art of touge was enough for me.
Looking back upon this has made me both miss and truly appreciate the childhood I had. Even as a child, I always had a sense of identity. Don't forget that this was in fourth grade; while most of my peers were playing basketball or enjoying their Nintendo 64s or original Playstations, I was rushing home, hopping on the computer, opening up my BitTorrent client, and downloading the next episode of Initial D that I had to watch. Before anybody even knew what Initial D was! Completely uncut and subbed, no Americanized watered-down episodes or ridiculous English dubs and voice-overs, just anime in its purest form, with only the addition of a visual language aid. That was where it was at, at least for my childhood.
I certainly do miss it, but the lack of anything new in the series (other than the manga) has left me with nothing to fill the void, at least for now. At any rate, I'm glad I found this little video, just one of the many mementos I've kept from my childhood and a reminder of the joyous and carefree life I used to live. (It's also validated my knowledge of the show; the song played at the end is Leslie Parrish's Save Me, one of the many gems in a genre of music called Eurobeat that not many have heard of. Ask me anything about the series, and I'll bet I can still give you an answer about it, even 8 years later :D)
Life was good back then, but I'll spare the pessimistic outlook. Just because something was once good doesn't mean it can't still be good (: I think I'm going to start rewatching Initial D, just for the hell of it.
It's way too late, but all this excitement from looking at my past has me way too excited to sleep. All-nighter?! Who knows, but for now, I'm off to reminisce some more. Late!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Prettyboy
I swear, the compliments that my aunt gives me are ridiculous.
Oh, hello! I hope you all had a pleasant Veteran's Day today. In keeping with the "theme", here's a picture of my Military Blue IVs, which I wore on Saturday to take my SATs. Normally, I would talk about something as influential to my life as the SATs, but in this case, I think it's best that I belay that habit, at least for now..
My day was, to say the least, relaxing, and rather uneventful, at that. Marissa & I headed to Target after school on Tuesday so she could pick up her "feminine" products and then we hopped over to Jamba Juice, where I got a 20% discount on my Strawberries Wild thanks to her boyfriend's football discount card, and L&L, where I decided to order a mini Loco Moco, over easy, after not having been there for probably about...six months or so. I was greeted with even more food when my mom picked me up with a car full of Vietnamese delicacies: flour rolls with pork sausage and shrimp cakes, salmon porridge (congee is the correct term, according to Connie), and a PHAT chunk of chocolate cake!
The remainder of my Tuesday was strictly chill, and although I didn't have a chance to leave the house, I did make the best of my time by completing a full workout cycle for the first time since summer. I fell asleep sitting on the couch, wrapped in my blankie and eating chocolate cake while watching Family Guy, and woke up again at around 3:30 A.M., whereupon I then relocated into my room and knocked the hell out. I woke up this morning, er, afternoon at around 12:30, and did...well, absolutely nothing for the entire day. I did manage to complete another full workout cycle tonight though, as well as my precal homework, on which I accidently completed 30 questions rather than the 20 that were assigned to me. But like they say, practice makes perfect!
Speaking of practice, my Winterfest audition is in less than a week, and I still have absolutely no idea what I'm going to perform yet, but I definitely want to do something that's going to get the crowd on their feet. After all, it is my last year of high school, and I want to make my mark before I finally leave. The next month or so is going to be complete chaos, without a doubt, especially with so many events coming up: Winterfest auditions, my piano recital, Winter Ball(s?) (eeek.), my actual Winterfest performance, Winterfest, the end of the grading period, and finals, all within the next month and a half or so. I've got a lot on my plate, but luckily, I also have a huge appetite.
As of right now, it's 2:22 A.M., and I really should be sleeping. Oh, I've Got A Feeling just started playing on my iTunes. Random, I know, just thought I'd throw that out there. Hope everyone had a nice break!
You and I, we're not so different after all.
Oh, hello! I hope you all had a pleasant Veteran's Day today. In keeping with the "theme", here's a picture of my Military Blue IVs, which I wore on Saturday to take my SATs. Normally, I would talk about something as influential to my life as the SATs, but in this case, I think it's best that I belay that habit, at least for now..
My day was, to say the least, relaxing, and rather uneventful, at that. Marissa & I headed to Target after school on Tuesday so she could pick up her "feminine" products and then we hopped over to Jamba Juice, where I got a 20% discount on my Strawberries Wild thanks to her boyfriend's football discount card, and L&L, where I decided to order a mini Loco Moco, over easy, after not having been there for probably about...six months or so. I was greeted with even more food when my mom picked me up with a car full of Vietnamese delicacies: flour rolls with pork sausage and shrimp cakes, salmon porridge (congee is the correct term, according to Connie), and a PHAT chunk of chocolate cake!
The remainder of my Tuesday was strictly chill, and although I didn't have a chance to leave the house, I did make the best of my time by completing a full workout cycle for the first time since summer. I fell asleep sitting on the couch, wrapped in my blankie and eating chocolate cake while watching Family Guy, and woke up again at around 3:30 A.M., whereupon I then relocated into my room and knocked the hell out. I woke up this morning, er, afternoon at around 12:30, and did...well, absolutely nothing for the entire day. I did manage to complete another full workout cycle tonight though, as well as my precal homework, on which I accidently completed 30 questions rather than the 20 that were assigned to me. But like they say, practice makes perfect!
Speaking of practice, my Winterfest audition is in less than a week, and I still have absolutely no idea what I'm going to perform yet, but I definitely want to do something that's going to get the crowd on their feet. After all, it is my last year of high school, and I want to make my mark before I finally leave. The next month or so is going to be complete chaos, without a doubt, especially with so many events coming up: Winterfest auditions, my piano recital, Winter Ball(s?) (eeek.), my actual Winterfest performance, Winterfest, the end of the grading period, and finals, all within the next month and a half or so. I've got a lot on my plate, but luckily, I also have a huge appetite.
As of right now, it's 2:22 A.M., and I really should be sleeping. Oh, I've Got A Feeling just started playing on my iTunes. Random, I know, just thought I'd throw that out there. Hope everyone had a nice break!
You and I, we're not so different after all.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Nothing But the Best
DAS MAH BRUDDAR!
Das mah bruddarmen da dunkjayz. Da mojo be stron wif dis wun monnn, ya rawka goolah shaka zulu mulu frijole MONNNNNN!
Well, all kidding aside, it should be self-explanatory from this picture that I've been pretty darn skippy for the past couple of days, for more reasons than one. So skippy, in fact, that earlier this evening, I brought an entire box of Honey Bunches of Oats into my room and sat in front of my computer munching away to dry cereal while listening to Z-Trip's "Breakfast Club" a dozen and a half times or so. Hey, why be a regular joe when I can be eggtraordinary?!
For those of you who have stayed faithful to Blogspot, don't fret: I'm not leaving. Although I've been quite active on Tumblr lately, nearly all of my posts there are simply reblogs of media content: videos, images, conversations, etcetera. Many, no, most of the things that I post on Tumblr have no real significance to me, at least not when it comes to matters of the soul, and are posted merely for entertainment, not reflection or enlightenment. Blogspot is still my blog of choice when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, expressing my feelings in one of the best ways that I can: through words.
The past two days have given me a chance to unwind after a rather hectic week, highlighted mainly by the fact that I finally have Formspring Fridays up and running, something that I will go into a bit more detail in a future blog post. Aside from that, I've been hard at work on the keys, touching up the pieces I already know and pushing myself to learn the ones that I have yet to master. One audition down, one to go; expect to see me in a few performances from now until the end of the year.
Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that I've made is waiting until my Senior year to take my SATs, and Saturday morning was a real eye-opener for me. With the way that my academic studies have been going lately, any and all UCs have been practically eliminated from my post high-school options, and CSUs are hanging on by a thread. At this rate, I may end up attending a community college for two years, as my brother did twelve years prior, and transfer to a CSU or a UC after I meet the requirements. We'll see what happens, but I seriously need to get my butt in gear.
Of course, what better way to release all the stress and worries of school-life than by hitting up a party? Saturday night marked the first time in a long time that I've attended a "party"; call it what you will, but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet. There's your daily dose of Shakespeare! Anyway, needless to say, I had a blast, and any awkard turtles I had when I first arrived quickly swam off. Although I didn't meet everybody, I did have a chance to get to know quite a few new people, and spend some quality time with some old ones. Thanks for a great night everybody! Hope you all enjoyed the thai tea; sorry there was a bit of a shortage (that's Econ vocabulary, I have an exam tomorrow, er, today..), I'll be sure to make some more next time! I'm thinking of throwing a shindig (that's my personal word of choice for an event such as this) in about two weeks, but nothing is concrete yet. More details will arise and the date draws closer!
Why the hell am I still up at 2:18 A.M.? You tell me, although my forgetting to finish my study questions definitely attributed to this unhealthy sleeping pattern. Oh, Oedipus, how I loathe thee. I am done for today. Goodnight everyone!
By the way, I never got a chance to thank you for coming after me when I walked out. I don't know what would have happened if I had left alone, but I'm glad I don't have to think about that now. Thank you.
Das mah bruddarmen da dunkjayz. Da mojo be stron wif dis wun monnn, ya rawka goolah shaka zulu mulu frijole MONNNNNN!
Well, all kidding aside, it should be self-explanatory from this picture that I've been pretty darn skippy for the past couple of days, for more reasons than one. So skippy, in fact, that earlier this evening, I brought an entire box of Honey Bunches of Oats into my room and sat in front of my computer munching away to dry cereal while listening to Z-Trip's "Breakfast Club" a dozen and a half times or so. Hey, why be a regular joe when I can be eggtraordinary?!
For those of you who have stayed faithful to Blogspot, don't fret: I'm not leaving. Although I've been quite active on Tumblr lately, nearly all of my posts there are simply reblogs of media content: videos, images, conversations, etcetera. Many, no, most of the things that I post on Tumblr have no real significance to me, at least not when it comes to matters of the soul, and are posted merely for entertainment, not reflection or enlightenment. Blogspot is still my blog of choice when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, expressing my feelings in one of the best ways that I can: through words.
The past two days have given me a chance to unwind after a rather hectic week, highlighted mainly by the fact that I finally have Formspring Fridays up and running, something that I will go into a bit more detail in a future blog post. Aside from that, I've been hard at work on the keys, touching up the pieces I already know and pushing myself to learn the ones that I have yet to master. One audition down, one to go; expect to see me in a few performances from now until the end of the year.
Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that I've made is waiting until my Senior year to take my SATs, and Saturday morning was a real eye-opener for me. With the way that my academic studies have been going lately, any and all UCs have been practically eliminated from my post high-school options, and CSUs are hanging on by a thread. At this rate, I may end up attending a community college for two years, as my brother did twelve years prior, and transfer to a CSU or a UC after I meet the requirements. We'll see what happens, but I seriously need to get my butt in gear.
Of course, what better way to release all the stress and worries of school-life than by hitting up a party? Saturday night marked the first time in a long time that I've attended a "party"; call it what you will, but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet. There's your daily dose of Shakespeare! Anyway, needless to say, I had a blast, and any awkard turtles I had when I first arrived quickly swam off. Although I didn't meet everybody, I did have a chance to get to know quite a few new people, and spend some quality time with some old ones. Thanks for a great night everybody! Hope you all enjoyed the thai tea; sorry there was a bit of a shortage (that's Econ vocabulary, I have an exam tomorrow, er, today..), I'll be sure to make some more next time! I'm thinking of throwing a shindig (that's my personal word of choice for an event such as this) in about two weeks, but nothing is concrete yet. More details will arise and the date draws closer!
Why the hell am I still up at 2:18 A.M.? You tell me, although my forgetting to finish my study questions definitely attributed to this unhealthy sleeping pattern. Oh, Oedipus, how I loathe thee. I am done for today. Goodnight everyone!
By the way, I never got a chance to thank you for coming after me when I walked out. I don't know what would have happened if I had left alone, but I'm glad I don't have to think about that now. Thank you.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Cherry Pie
I'm your biggest fan!
It's true! Everything you do, from the way you move and walk and talk to the way you tell me to shut up and tell me bedtime stories, you're just one big(little) bundle of..
Oh, hello! I didn't realize that I was thinking out loud, there. Well, I hope you guys enjoy my ugly mug up there ^, because I normally don't post pictures of myself that often. That is, if anyone is still out there. It looks like I'm one of the few people left who actually actively post on Blogspot. Hooray for BS!
My weekend was terrible and Halloween wasn't blog-worth this year, although there's always a few sunspots, even on the darkest days. Good laughs and good times, everything is all good in this hood! Happy November to everyone. It's beanie weather! My brother's birthday is in two days, and I still haven't gotten him a card. Here's to hoping this month will be much better than the last.
What's new? Not much, except there's a "new" song on 94.9 right now. I'm thinking of making a Formspring and answering the questions I receive in a weekly vlog format. I even have a name for it already: Formspring Fridays! I'll see, though. Anyways, croissants are janky, and I like axes, and to be axed, oh, and guess what's I found in the pocket of my jeans today? That's right, PENNY! (;
No new song for tonight, I'm tired. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, goodnight!
It's true! Everything you do, from the way you move and walk and talk to the way you tell me to shut up and tell me bedtime stories, you're just one big(little) bundle of..
Oh, hello! I didn't realize that I was thinking out loud, there. Well, I hope you guys enjoy my ugly mug up there ^, because I normally don't post pictures of myself that often. That is, if anyone is still out there. It looks like I'm one of the few people left who actually actively post on Blogspot. Hooray for BS!
My weekend was terrible and Halloween wasn't blog-worth this year, although there's always a few sunspots, even on the darkest days. Good laughs and good times, everything is all good in this hood! Happy November to everyone. It's beanie weather! My brother's birthday is in two days, and I still haven't gotten him a card. Here's to hoping this month will be much better than the last.
What's new? Not much, except there's a "new" song on 94.9 right now. I'm thinking of making a Formspring and answering the questions I receive in a weekly vlog format. I even have a name for it already: Formspring Fridays! I'll see, though. Anyways, croissants are janky, and I like axes, and to be axed, oh, and guess what's I found in the pocket of my jeans today? That's right, PENNY! (;
No new song for tonight, I'm tired. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, goodnight!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Be With You
Dear Kuipo,
It seems as if it's been forever since we've talked. You missed my last three texts and two phone calls, but that's alright. You're sick, and I hope that you feel better soon. I also hope that you know I would never keep a secret from you, no matter what. If you really want to know what's been bugging me, then I'll let you know as soon as we have some time to talk and we're not both completely beat-up and brain-dead from the things we have to take care of in our individual lives.
I also hope that you aren't giving up. Perhaps these mood and "feeling swings", so to speak, are merely a side-effect of a few chemical imbalances, and that your irritability is not directed towards me, and most importantly, not permanent. You and I both know that deep down inside, it's what you really want and that the possibilities are endless, but I must admit that there are times when your lack of faith disturbs me. I guess when it comes right down to it, I just don't want you to worry, because I know there is nothing that we cannot do if we're together.
Goodnight, sweet dreams.
It seems as if it's been forever since we've talked. You missed my last three texts and two phone calls, but that's alright. You're sick, and I hope that you feel better soon. I also hope that you know I would never keep a secret from you, no matter what. If you really want to know what's been bugging me, then I'll let you know as soon as we have some time to talk and we're not both completely beat-up and brain-dead from the things we have to take care of in our individual lives.
I also hope that you aren't giving up. Perhaps these mood and "feeling swings", so to speak, are merely a side-effect of a few chemical imbalances, and that your irritability is not directed towards me, and most importantly, not permanent. You and I both know that deep down inside, it's what you really want and that the possibilities are endless, but I must admit that there are times when your lack of faith disturbs me. I guess when it comes right down to it, I just don't want you to worry, because I know there is nothing that we cannot do if we're together.
Goodnight, sweet dreams.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Fuzzy Wuzzies
This was the term that my old AP Chemistry teacher Mr. Cervantes used to describe...shoot, what was it again? I forgot. Entropy? I think that's it!
And here I am, months passed and an entire school-year older, still feeling these "fuzzy-wuzzies". An oldie but a goodie. In fact, I don't think I've posted this yet, in spite of the fact that it's been about eight months since I snapped this shot on my first trip to Yogurtland while I was in Long Beach, visiting my family on Winter Break. I could sure go for a cup of this right about now! Flipping through the pages of my Flickr today really made me wonder what happened to my love of photography over these past months. At most, it was a simple hobby to me, something to keep me occupied, conveniently aided by the fact that my dad already had a camera that I could use when he wasn't, but the spark is gone now, as it is in a lot of things. I think it's time to get it back.
Today must have been a day to reminisce, as my Flickr wasn't the only thing I reflected upon. So much has occurred, events that have thrown my entire life off-course, and it's somewhat dreadful to think that there are still over two entire months remaining in this year! Yet when I look back upon all that I've done (and haven't done) this year, I can truly say that time flies, whether or not you're having fun. My old blogs, some of which I had forgotten that I had even written in the first place, seem so out-of-place, so disjointed when compared to my more recent musings. Nonetheless, these forgotten blogs still serve as the basis and foundation of everything that I am today. I didn't italicize sentences here and there for nothing, you know!
The last subject that I'll touch upon tonight is one that I don't discuss often, at least not openly, but something that I still feel very strongly about. As some of you may know, I was once an avid World of Warcraft player. My first foray into this little gem of an MMO took place in early 2006, when the "World" was a much different place and the concept of an MMORPG was still generally regarded as "uncool" to the public eye. But to me, it was something to help cope with my lack of social graces, something to dedicate my time and devotion into. Over time I watched the game grow, expand, evolve, as did I. As asinine as this may sound, one of my biggest regrets in life is a decision that I made regarding this very game.
I was never the cream of the crop when it came to my standing in the game, but I was pretty high up there. I had raiding experience in almost every end-game raid in both vanilla WoW and BC, from ZG to MC to Karazhan to SWP, and the pinnacle of my gear progression was a mix of T5 and T6 gear. For most of my WoW-career, I had been in mid- to high-end raiding guilds on my server (Edict of Pain, Mustang Gang, Reckless Hate - Horde, Kil'Jaeden US). In the fall of 2007, I was presented with an opportunity to join the #3 Horde guild on the server, Sigil, an offer which I had turned down due to my desire to spend more time out and about rather than in front of a computer screen. Unfortunately for me, my social life only deteriorated after I had turned down the offer, and by the time I had come back to the game, it was too late.
Sigil eventually disbanded, but not before progressing and defeating nearly all of what BC had to offer. Many ex-Sigil members, including Ambient, one of the most revered Warriors on the entire server, moved on to join a guild called Cuties Only, which my close friends Text and Gouryella/Cashnprizes also eventually joined. I've been away from the game for a very, very long period of time, but I never forget a name. I hopped onto MMO-Champion.com earlier this evening to find a video of Cuties Only tackling on Icecrown Citadel on the PTRs. It turns out that Cuties Only is now one of the best guilds in the entire world. And to think, I could be in that guild at this very moment, making world firsts and being adorned worldwide as one of the best Warriors to play the game.
Was my decision the right choice? I'd say so. Time away from the game has given me a lot of time to mature, both mentally and physically, and allowed me to become more outgoing and adventurous. There are still times when I sit and ponder where I would be today had I stuck to my commitments, but no matter how far my fascinations extend, pixels and guildmates will never compare to those who I am blessed to be with every day, in mind and spirit. (Still, I wish I could say that I had a full set of T9 right now.)
After a long day of looking in the rear-view mirror, I honestly have to say that I miss Junior year, at least to some extent, but I also know that nothing can stay broken forever, and that whatever good and positive that was once present can always be fixed, repaired, built up stronger and better than before. Everyone has their doubts and worries, but in the end, my eagerness and optimism outshine all.
Thanks to those who are taking the time to read what I write, even though a lot of times, not everything will make sense, as I use Blogspot as my own personal space to clear my thoughts and feelings. Thanks again to those who keep up with my life, I'll be sure to do my best to repay the favor.
And just because it doesn't feel right to end my blog that way, one more thing:
I feel fantastic, I'm feeling fine.
P.S. I'm also out of tissues. What the hell!
And here I am, months passed and an entire school-year older, still feeling these "fuzzy-wuzzies". An oldie but a goodie. In fact, I don't think I've posted this yet, in spite of the fact that it's been about eight months since I snapped this shot on my first trip to Yogurtland while I was in Long Beach, visiting my family on Winter Break. I could sure go for a cup of this right about now! Flipping through the pages of my Flickr today really made me wonder what happened to my love of photography over these past months. At most, it was a simple hobby to me, something to keep me occupied, conveniently aided by the fact that my dad already had a camera that I could use when he wasn't, but the spark is gone now, as it is in a lot of things. I think it's time to get it back.
Today must have been a day to reminisce, as my Flickr wasn't the only thing I reflected upon. So much has occurred, events that have thrown my entire life off-course, and it's somewhat dreadful to think that there are still over two entire months remaining in this year! Yet when I look back upon all that I've done (and haven't done) this year, I can truly say that time flies, whether or not you're having fun. My old blogs, some of which I had forgotten that I had even written in the first place, seem so out-of-place, so disjointed when compared to my more recent musings. Nonetheless, these forgotten blogs still serve as the basis and foundation of everything that I am today. I didn't italicize sentences here and there for nothing, you know!
The last subject that I'll touch upon tonight is one that I don't discuss often, at least not openly, but something that I still feel very strongly about. As some of you may know, I was once an avid World of Warcraft player. My first foray into this little gem of an MMO took place in early 2006, when the "World" was a much different place and the concept of an MMORPG was still generally regarded as "uncool" to the public eye. But to me, it was something to help cope with my lack of social graces, something to dedicate my time and devotion into. Over time I watched the game grow, expand, evolve, as did I. As asinine as this may sound, one of my biggest regrets in life is a decision that I made regarding this very game.
I was never the cream of the crop when it came to my standing in the game, but I was pretty high up there. I had raiding experience in almost every end-game raid in both vanilla WoW and BC, from ZG to MC to Karazhan to SWP, and the pinnacle of my gear progression was a mix of T5 and T6 gear. For most of my WoW-career, I had been in mid- to high-end raiding guilds on my server (Edict of Pain, Mustang Gang, Reckless Hate - Horde, Kil'Jaeden US). In the fall of 2007, I was presented with an opportunity to join the #3 Horde guild on the server, Sigil, an offer which I had turned down due to my desire to spend more time out and about rather than in front of a computer screen. Unfortunately for me, my social life only deteriorated after I had turned down the offer, and by the time I had come back to the game, it was too late.
Sigil eventually disbanded, but not before progressing and defeating nearly all of what BC had to offer. Many ex-Sigil members, including Ambient, one of the most revered Warriors on the entire server, moved on to join a guild called Cuties Only, which my close friends Text and Gouryella/Cashnprizes also eventually joined. I've been away from the game for a very, very long period of time, but I never forget a name. I hopped onto MMO-Champion.com earlier this evening to find a video of Cuties Only tackling on Icecrown Citadel on the PTRs. It turns out that Cuties Only is now one of the best guilds in the entire world. And to think, I could be in that guild at this very moment, making world firsts and being adorned worldwide as one of the best Warriors to play the game.
Was my decision the right choice? I'd say so. Time away from the game has given me a lot of time to mature, both mentally and physically, and allowed me to become more outgoing and adventurous. There are still times when I sit and ponder where I would be today had I stuck to my commitments, but no matter how far my fascinations extend, pixels and guildmates will never compare to those who I am blessed to be with every day, in mind and spirit. (Still, I wish I could say that I had a full set of T9 right now.)
After a long day of looking in the rear-view mirror, I honestly have to say that I miss Junior year, at least to some extent, but I also know that nothing can stay broken forever, and that whatever good and positive that was once present can always be fixed, repaired, built up stronger and better than before. Everyone has their doubts and worries, but in the end, my eagerness and optimism outshine all.
Thanks to those who are taking the time to read what I write, even though a lot of times, not everything will make sense, as I use Blogspot as my own personal space to clear my thoughts and feelings. Thanks again to those who keep up with my life, I'll be sure to do my best to repay the favor.
And just because it doesn't feel right to end my blog that way, one more thing:
I feel fantastic, I'm feeling fine.
P.S. I'm also out of tissues. What the hell!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
IRON MAN
I hate being kept a secret.
I'll explain later. This has become one of my favorite new cartoon shows, by the way!
I'll explain later. This has become one of my favorite new cartoon shows, by the way!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Common Ground
For the first time in a long time, actually.
There are simply too many things on my mind at this moment, far too many things to say, to the point where any attempt at arranging these thoughts into a blocks of text in a uniform manner would be absolutely pointless. So, just as I do when I'm home alone and nobody's looking, generally in the shower: I'm just going to spit.
I'm glad that we had that lo(ooooooooo)ng talk today, to say the very least. It really has amazed me how much our communication has improved lately. No, not in the sense of talking to each other on a constant and consistent basis, but in how we communicate. Were this a few months ago, chances are you would have ripped me to pieces for even broaching the subject in the first place. Our newfound ability to have an open discussion with each other on this topic while keeping the tension and negativity to a minimum really amazes me, as well as the fact that you are now able to openly admit these feelings that you've held inside for so long. Thanks for a great effort!
I'd be a liar if I were to tell you that I am where I want to be right now, but I can't deny the fact that I'm content with the way things currently are. There's still much work to be completed and healing to be done, and we both know that's going to take some time. But as long as you know that you're not alone, that I've got your back when it comes to this, then I'm sure you'll be fine. And yeah, you can question his motives all you want, but I'm still absolutely positively certain that he still misses and feels for you.
And what about "us"? Quotation marks, because nobody really knows what's coming next. Nothing soon, obviously, but all scars heal with time. What's going to happen after yours patch themselves up? I don't know, but all I can say for sure is that I can help you through the healing process. I've been there and done that; I know what it feels like to be in your shoes (which I can probably fit if I try hard enough), but more importantly, I know what you need. Maybe it's not what you want as of now, but I know what you need, and it's not a question of "Can I provide it?", but rather, "Will you let me?", because I know damm well that I certainly can give it to you, pardon my French.
But no pressure, on the real! Forrest Gump's mother once told him that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get. Ain't that the truth, Ruth? I have no expectations, but so much hope, hope that, as I told you earlier, has been in my heart for as long as I can remember, since the day that we began talking, fueling me day-by-day. You tell me you don't want me to get my hopes up, but the truth is, your presence in my life alone gives me more hope than you could ever imagine, and through no fault of your own, I'm feeling as high as a kite right now. Some may call me stupid, and others, blind; I prefer to think of myself as a dreamer.
I must admit that I am scared to death, literally shaking in my boots (Dora-less) to find out what life has in store for us next. What if it doesn't work out? Or if you never heal? What if there's no cure? Maybe I'll never become a famous musician, and you'll never become my paparazzi. But maybe, just maybe...there exists a small chance, miniscule, micro, SMALLER THAN ME, that things will work out for the better, for both of us. Well, I told myself that any chance I get, no matter how small it is, is worth taking. And right about here is where I stop attempting to turn these feelings into an elegant arrangement of words, because the sound of my heart pounding against my chest has just made me lose my train of thought. Well, you get the idea.
Really, you are something special. Pardon the sweet-talk, because you ain't even mine, but I have to say this: You are worth it. I told myself that nine months ago and I continue to tell myself that every day when I wake up, every night before I fall asleep. This may sound stupid, but I think I knew exactly how I felt about you ever since the very first time we met. It just took awhile for me to realize it. Well, whatever the case, I'm glad that I've made it this far. Do I want to go farther? Of course. But the simple fact that I have someone in my life to adore, someone who never gets tired of my pointless ramblings, a person whose eyes light up upon seeing pennies on the floor and who's big, big head is brimming with fun, fun stories to tell me each and every time we talk (and with such enthusiasm!), someone to take the first bite of the chocolate cake for me, and without even asking..I would continue, but my train of thought has just fallen off the tracks, AGAIN.
Well, I think I've made my point clear. All in all, I've got to say that my life is pretty damn good right now. I can't wait until Saturday. I'm also sleepy as ffffff, and terrible at ending blog posts these days, so goodnight!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."
There are simply too many things on my mind at this moment, far too many things to say, to the point where any attempt at arranging these thoughts into a blocks of text in a uniform manner would be absolutely pointless. So, just as I do when I'm home alone and nobody's looking, generally in the shower: I'm just going to spit.
I'm glad that we had that lo(ooooooooo)ng talk today, to say the very least. It really has amazed me how much our communication has improved lately. No, not in the sense of talking to each other on a constant and consistent basis, but in how we communicate. Were this a few months ago, chances are you would have ripped me to pieces for even broaching the subject in the first place. Our newfound ability to have an open discussion with each other on this topic while keeping the tension and negativity to a minimum really amazes me, as well as the fact that you are now able to openly admit these feelings that you've held inside for so long. Thanks for a great effort!
I'd be a liar if I were to tell you that I am where I want to be right now, but I can't deny the fact that I'm content with the way things currently are. There's still much work to be completed and healing to be done, and we both know that's going to take some time. But as long as you know that you're not alone, that I've got your back when it comes to this, then I'm sure you'll be fine. And yeah, you can question his motives all you want, but I'm still absolutely positively certain that he still misses and feels for you.
And what about "us"? Quotation marks, because nobody really knows what's coming next. Nothing soon, obviously, but all scars heal with time. What's going to happen after yours patch themselves up? I don't know, but all I can say for sure is that I can help you through the healing process. I've been there and done that; I know what it feels like to be in your shoes (which I can probably fit if I try hard enough), but more importantly, I know what you need. Maybe it's not what you want as of now, but I know what you need, and it's not a question of "Can I provide it?", but rather, "Will you let me?", because I know damm well that I certainly can give it to you, pardon my French.
But no pressure, on the real! Forrest Gump's mother once told him that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get. Ain't that the truth, Ruth? I have no expectations, but so much hope, hope that, as I told you earlier, has been in my heart for as long as I can remember, since the day that we began talking, fueling me day-by-day. You tell me you don't want me to get my hopes up, but the truth is, your presence in my life alone gives me more hope than you could ever imagine, and through no fault of your own, I'm feeling as high as a kite right now. Some may call me stupid, and others, blind; I prefer to think of myself as a dreamer.
I must admit that I am scared to death, literally shaking in my boots (Dora-less) to find out what life has in store for us next. What if it doesn't work out? Or if you never heal? What if there's no cure? Maybe I'll never become a famous musician, and you'll never become my paparazzi. But maybe, just maybe...there exists a small chance, miniscule, micro, SMALLER THAN ME, that things will work out for the better, for both of us. Well, I told myself that any chance I get, no matter how small it is, is worth taking. And right about here is where I stop attempting to turn these feelings into an elegant arrangement of words, because the sound of my heart pounding against my chest has just made me lose my train of thought. Well, you get the idea.
Really, you are something special. Pardon the sweet-talk, because you ain't even mine, but I have to say this: You are worth it. I told myself that nine months ago and I continue to tell myself that every day when I wake up, every night before I fall asleep. This may sound stupid, but I think I knew exactly how I felt about you ever since the very first time we met. It just took awhile for me to realize it. Well, whatever the case, I'm glad that I've made it this far. Do I want to go farther? Of course. But the simple fact that I have someone in my life to adore, someone who never gets tired of my pointless ramblings, a person whose eyes light up upon seeing pennies on the floor and who's big, big head is brimming with fun, fun stories to tell me each and every time we talk (and with such enthusiasm!), someone to take the first bite of the chocolate cake for me, and without even asking..I would continue, but my train of thought has just fallen off the tracks, AGAIN.
Well, I think I've made my point clear. All in all, I've got to say that my life is pretty damn good right now. I can't wait until Saturday. I'm also sleepy as ffffff, and terrible at ending blog posts these days, so goodnight!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I Am.
I am...
I am a banana
I am a brilliant procrastinator
I am an artist at work
I am lost in a sea of faces
I am an optimistic realist
I am a rational existentialist
I am a never-ending rhyme
I am an unfinished book
I am a bittersweet ending
I am a haiku with too many syllables
I am a held-in sneeze
I am a sedated dreamer
I am a creator of goals
I am a man of too many words
I am an imperfect son
I am a bringer of joy
I am a bouncing ball
I am a hot air balloon
I almost almost finished with this list
I am Mikey Tran,
and I love you.
Dry your eyes and slow your breath,
because as much as it pains me to be without you,
it kills me even more to see you cry.
Yet there are times in life when things cannot stay locked up,
feelings frenzy and enrage, gripped in a constant battle
against your will and drive to keep them hidden within.
So for now, lower your walls and dismiss your pride
dispel these illusions and end the charades
Let your tears flow, and I will be your shoulder to lean on.
I am a banana
I am a brilliant procrastinator
I am an artist at work
I am lost in a sea of faces
I am an optimistic realist
I am a rational existentialist
I am a never-ending rhyme
I am an unfinished book
I am a bittersweet ending
I am a haiku with too many syllables
I am a held-in sneeze
I am a sedated dreamer
I am a creator of goals
I am a man of too many words
I am an imperfect son
I am a bringer of joy
I am a bouncing ball
I am a hot air balloon
I almost almost finished with this list
I am Mikey Tran,
and I love you.
Dry your eyes and slow your breath,
because as much as it pains me to be without you,
it kills me even more to see you cry.
Yet there are times in life when things cannot stay locked up,
feelings frenzy and enrage, gripped in a constant battle
against your will and drive to keep them hidden within.
So for now, lower your walls and dismiss your pride
dispel these illusions and end the charades
Let your tears flow, and I will be your shoulder to lean on.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Confession Number ??? +1
I began to cry last night after picking up the phone and hearing your voice. I don't know why.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Confession Number ???
There are times when I don't even feel good enough to be your friend, let alone your boyfriend.
Here's to tomorrow, I'll make it better than today was.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Five Minutes to Midnight
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That's why I keep you close to my heart.
Missin' you on a Saturday evening, filled with shortcomings and unexpected pleasantries. The thought of you runs through my mind like my fingers through your hair, your spunk and your charm far brighter than this pumpkin that now sits next to my mom's flower vase. There are too many words unspoken, feelings unexpressed and stories left unfinished, so many adventures left to go on and intricacies to explore with and about each other, but for now they'll have to wait. It is my every aspiration and desire that one day, you'll be able to find more than you are looking for and all the comfort you deserve in me, and that maybe one day I'll finally be able to finish this book.
For now, though, a late-night outing is waiting for me just off Capital Expressway. I'll catch you later, I promise. I hope you had a great time tonight!
We'll see our name in city lights.
Missin' you on a Saturday evening, filled with shortcomings and unexpected pleasantries. The thought of you runs through my mind like my fingers through your hair, your spunk and your charm far brighter than this pumpkin that now sits next to my mom's flower vase. There are too many words unspoken, feelings unexpressed and stories left unfinished, so many adventures left to go on and intricacies to explore with and about each other, but for now they'll have to wait. It is my every aspiration and desire that one day, you'll be able to find more than you are looking for and all the comfort you deserve in me, and that maybe one day I'll finally be able to finish this book.
For now, though, a late-night outing is waiting for me just off Capital Expressway. I'll catch you later, I promise. I hope you had a great time tonight!
We'll see our name in city lights.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Puddles and Rooftops
This week is Homecoming Week. Go Seniors!
Patience can be a difficult game to learn, and is a deadly force when combined with the surrounding chaos and confusion. My days peak with daily adventures around town and are weighted by the loss of the spotlight, culminating in silent solitude as I collect my thoughts in this dimly-lit room. *-CUT
The waves are taking their toll. I'll be back later.
Patience can be a difficult game to learn, and is a deadly force when combined with the surrounding chaos and confusion. My days peak with daily adventures around town and are weighted by the loss of the spotlight, culminating in silent solitude as I collect my thoughts in this dimly-lit room. *-CUT
The waves are taking their toll. I'll be back later.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
ONION SALE
So Kelli called me Mikeysaurus on Friday (I think) and it reminded me of this picture. Except the "I Love You" part, because I secretly hate her guts and have dreams about her getting into car crashes. No, just kidding.
If you haven't seen Paranormal Activity: It did NOT live up to the hype. Okay, I'll admit, it was pretty scary and had me covering my eyes most of the time, but for a movie that everyone is talking about and waiting in two-hour lines at midnight to go see, it could have been a lot better. I'm still creeped out by it, though.
Anyways. "What the heck would Europeans do with silk?" "They could make silk thongs...which are very sexy." My friends are random as fuck. Matt's new system bumps like a motha- , and there are way too many boppers and hypebeasts at Mercado.
ANYWAYS. Oops, I already started my previous paragraph with that. ANYWAYS, my parents are watching a movie now, and I think I hear the little Disney logo theme, so OFF I GO!
P.S. Yes, as much of a bitch move as that was for me to do that, I still love you. Hope you know.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Throw Some ____
I don't see why you get mad over the stupidest shit ever, seriously, because at least I had the decency to ask you about it rather than just assuming everything I heard is true. And I also fail to see why you always drag your friends into it; they were your friends first, they have no reason to hate you, so why would they go out of their way to do so? All they were trying to do was to help ME out, so if you see that as "backstabbing", then that's your problem.
But really? So I heard a few words and ask you about it, and you decide to get butthurt. About what? Your "privacy"? The simple fact that you are saying things about me that you don't want me to hear should be enough of a reason for me to see you as a bad friend and leave it at that. The only reason I keep coming back is because I love you and care for you too much to just up and leave like that, and throughout all this shit, who's side did I take? Yours or your friends? Each and every time, the result has been the same. Think about it.
If you really want to know what people think of you, then I'll tell you: They think you're playing me, that you're leading me on, that you're only using me whenever you feel that its convenient and to your benefit to do so. And I don't blame them for thinking that, either; either you love me or you don't, either you want me as more than a friend or you don't, there is no "in-between". Don't keep thinking that you can like me one day and not like me the next day; that's worked for you so far, but the only reason it's worked is because I treat you like a fucking princess. I can never say no to you, no matter how much you've hurt me in the past, but maybe it's time to change that.
You were my fucking best friend for the better half of 2009, and at times, it was evident to BOTH OF US that we both wanted more from each other. You can try to deny it if you want, but your actions were proof of your feelings, feelings which may be long-gone now, but was, without a doubt, there for me at one point. If you want to go back to your private blog, then go ahead. Have your "privacy", something you seem to love SO much that you get butthurt over. But no matter how much you succumb and conform, how much you begin to corrupt and accept, possibly even embrace these values and traits that should not be a part of ANY friendship whatsoever, just remember that I will always be a friend to you, and as true-blue as friends come.
Quite frankly, I don't care who reads this blog, because I have nothing to hide. So, public service announcement: if you want to make assumptions based on what you read and infer from our blogs, then go ahead. If you want to hear my side of the story, feel free to ask. The choice is yours.
Here is my life on display. Not for sale, please don't touch, thank you and have a nice day.
But really? So I heard a few words and ask you about it, and you decide to get butthurt. About what? Your "privacy"? The simple fact that you are saying things about me that you don't want me to hear should be enough of a reason for me to see you as a bad friend and leave it at that. The only reason I keep coming back is because I love you and care for you too much to just up and leave like that, and throughout all this shit, who's side did I take? Yours or your friends? Each and every time, the result has been the same. Think about it.
If you really want to know what people think of you, then I'll tell you: They think you're playing me, that you're leading me on, that you're only using me whenever you feel that its convenient and to your benefit to do so. And I don't blame them for thinking that, either; either you love me or you don't, either you want me as more than a friend or you don't, there is no "in-between". Don't keep thinking that you can like me one day and not like me the next day; that's worked for you so far, but the only reason it's worked is because I treat you like a fucking princess. I can never say no to you, no matter how much you've hurt me in the past, but maybe it's time to change that.
You were my fucking best friend for the better half of 2009, and at times, it was evident to BOTH OF US that we both wanted more from each other. You can try to deny it if you want, but your actions were proof of your feelings, feelings which may be long-gone now, but was, without a doubt, there for me at one point. If you want to go back to your private blog, then go ahead. Have your "privacy", something you seem to love SO much that you get butthurt over. But no matter how much you succumb and conform, how much you begin to corrupt and accept, possibly even embrace these values and traits that should not be a part of ANY friendship whatsoever, just remember that I will always be a friend to you, and as true-blue as friends come.
Quite frankly, I don't care who reads this blog, because I have nothing to hide. So, public service announcement: if you want to make assumptions based on what you read and infer from our blogs, then go ahead. If you want to hear my side of the story, feel free to ask. The choice is yours.
Here is my life on display. Not for sale, please don't touch, thank you and have a nice day.
Misconceptions
Backstab? Nahh homie, they're just lookin' out for me, because it would seem that you're just playing me.
Like I said, pick and choose, love me or don't. I need something definite, no half-assed shit.
Like I said, pick and choose, love me or don't. I need something definite, no half-assed shit.
Cachorro
Guess I got some pretty big footsteps to follow in.
No homework and lots of sleep makes Mikey Tran a happy man. This entire week has been nothing but hectic, but at least today gave me a chance to relax. I fell asleep in first period again, as does everyone else, and I probably would have fallen asleep in second period as well if I didn't have a test to take. Hopefully I did fine, but thank goodness that it won't be going on the first progress report. We talked about Freud for the entire class period, and between awkward glances and giggles with Thomas, Danielle, and Kelli, I actually learned a great deal about fixations. Fourth period was a snoozer; we played a jeopardy-like game, in which I took home 4 points for my side of the room. Spanish was spent discussing different cultures in other Spanish-speaking countries, of which there are 21 of, until Connie remembered to ask our teacher about the burritos last-minute. Sixth period was boring as usual, but I finally finished my unit and had a chance to pick out my next piece and play on the big keyboard for once.
So, no game, huh? Your words and your actions are so contradictory that I think the universe is about to implode, and you flip-flop more than a fucking IHOP. Nothing saddens me more in my quest for honest and loyal people than growing close to someone, only to find out the qualities they possess are the absolute opposite of what I am seeking. But for the sake of coming with the realness and not jumping to conclusions, I'll ask you personally about it tomorrow, because that's what true friends should do. Right?
Smoke me, I'm blunt.
No homework and lots of sleep makes Mikey Tran a happy man. This entire week has been nothing but hectic, but at least today gave me a chance to relax. I fell asleep in first period again, as does everyone else, and I probably would have fallen asleep in second period as well if I didn't have a test to take. Hopefully I did fine, but thank goodness that it won't be going on the first progress report. We talked about Freud for the entire class period, and between awkward glances and giggles with Thomas, Danielle, and Kelli, I actually learned a great deal about fixations. Fourth period was a snoozer; we played a jeopardy-like game, in which I took home 4 points for my side of the room. Spanish was spent discussing different cultures in other Spanish-speaking countries, of which there are 21 of, until Connie remembered to ask our teacher about the burritos last-minute. Sixth period was boring as usual, but I finally finished my unit and had a chance to pick out my next piece and play on the big keyboard for once.
So, no game, huh? Your words and your actions are so contradictory that I think the universe is about to implode, and you flip-flop more than a fucking IHOP. Nothing saddens me more in my quest for honest and loyal people than growing close to someone, only to find out the qualities they possess are the absolute opposite of what I am seeking. But for the sake of coming with the realness and not jumping to conclusions, I'll ask you personally about it tomorrow, because that's what true friends should do. Right?
Smoke me, I'm blunt.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Bad Habits
OMFG SPONGEBOB WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Really though, don't play with me. Not only do I not appreciate it, but it's also morally wrong. Just hope you know that. Pick one of us and stick with it already.
Really though, don't play with me. Not only do I not appreciate it, but it's also morally wrong. Just hope you know that. Pick one of us and stick with it already.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
707 LAKAS
What is there to say?
Well, for one, I don't appreciate my time being wasted, I hope you know that.
Aside from a couple of setbacks, Thursday turned out to be an adequate start to the month of October. There are going to be a lot of big things happening in the coming weeks, many of which will be unexpected to practically everybody. Don't bother asking, you'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, Lady Gaga's song Paparazzi has been haunting me from the radio every time I get behind the wheel. After nearly an entire school week of talking about Mexican food in Spanish class, I finally got that burrito I've been craving for today. Good stuff.
This will be the earliest that I've slept all week, and hopefully I'll be able to wake up with enough time to eat breakfast tomorrow morning. Blueberry or chocolate muffin? I can't decide. goodnight!
Well, for one, I don't appreciate my time being wasted, I hope you know that.
Aside from a couple of setbacks, Thursday turned out to be an adequate start to the month of October. There are going to be a lot of big things happening in the coming weeks, many of which will be unexpected to practically everybody. Don't bother asking, you'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, Lady Gaga's song Paparazzi has been haunting me from the radio every time I get behind the wheel. After nearly an entire school week of talking about Mexican food in Spanish class, I finally got that burrito I've been craving for today. Good stuff.
This will be the earliest that I've slept all week, and hopefully I'll be able to wake up with enough time to eat breakfast tomorrow morning. Blueberry or chocolate muffin? I can't decide. goodnight!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Number Four
Today was a fun day. Homecoming is going to be a blast this year. I need to start sleeping earlier. And apparently, according to the girl who won't stop singing about her chicken patties (HAHA), I'm a silly boy who has A.D.D.
No, not really, or at least I hope not, but almost everything on that list was almost spot-on. Kinda scary if you ask me. Oh well, thank god it's...oh, fuck, it's only Wednesday.
No, not really, or at least I hope not, but almost everything on that list was almost spot-on. Kinda scary if you ask me. Oh well, thank god it's...oh, fuck, it's only Wednesday.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
"let's go eat dah yogurt from dah land."
Why do you always take pictures with food?!
Hahah, hi mae. Posting this because I don't think you've seen it yet (I tweeted it when we went to In-n-Out after the movies), and because you already posted our Yogurtland picture on your Tumblr. My cup of yogurt looks even bigger in pictures! I should really get the bigger cup next time, heh.
So it's been a hectic past couple of days, but I'm alright now. Sunday was fairly relaxing; I finished my homework early, and the Packers destroyed the Rams, recovering from a nail-biting loss to the Bengals last week. Notice how I didn't blog about that. My haircut didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, but everyone has been telling me that it looks fine, so I'll take your word on it. I ate an early dinner consisting of BBQ chicken and rice (how typical.) and then headed to Mae's house later on in the evening.
It felt as if I haven't been there in forever, despite the fact that it's only been a month since school started. I have to admit it feels odd not being there every other day, chillin' in the beachouse or watching TV in the living room because we're too lazy to walk to the mall. We headed to Yogurtland at around 9:30. Unsurprisingly, it was still rather packed, but that doesn't matter much because somehow we always end up being the loudest ones in the place, no matter where we go. I stacked up my cup of yogurt super high, twice as high as the cup itself and much higher than I did the past couple of times I went. Check Mae's Tumblr for the picture! Our total came out to be around $10, but it was worth every penny.
Halfway through our yogurt, I decided that I'd still be hungry afterwards, so we went over to McDonalds, but not before having some ridiculous shenanigans in the car. MAE WESSSTTTTT AND MIKEY WESSSSTTTTTT IN THE BUILDING, WESSSTTTTTTTT! I swear, we're fucking weird, and the guy who took my order at McDonalds gave me a weird look while we were trying to take our "M W" picture. I finished my McChicken in about two minutes once we got back home, but it was probably a bad idea because Panda smelled it on me and wouldn't stop licking my face the entire time that I was outside with him. I'm going to miss that dog, more than you know. Thanks for the good times and maybe I'll see you again someday. YEAH BUDDY!
Today was minimum Monday. It almost slipped my mind for a second when I woke up and saw that it was 6:51, but as soon as I realized that it was a minimum day, I rolled right back into my sheets and slept for another 15 minutes or so. School was fairly boring, another typical Monday; I drew a dolphin in Psychology and I have absolutely no idea what to draw for Spanish. We headed to Panda Express after school. They have a new item now! Sweet and fiery chicken, I believe. It's pretty good, and of course, I always get Beijing Beef as well. My fortune cookie said "You have a kind and generous heart." I hope so, I try!
The highlight of my day, however, was definitely the fact that since I had so much time to myself this afternoon, I spent it in front of the mic, dropping bars while adjusting my studio at the same time so that everything was fine and dandy. Unfortunately, the track that I recorded didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to. The intro was fine, on-point, exactly what I was aiming for, but the volume of the music was a bit too loud, and my voice is difficult to hear at times. I'll work on tweaking some of the sound and recording settings so that my next release will sound better, but considering that today's work was just a quick sample, a sort of on-the-spot snap-decision, I'm fairly content with the way it turned out.
You can check out my first-ever track on my Tumblr. Don't forget to reblog! I am going to get bigger, much bigger. Just you watch.
http://mkyend.tumblr.com/
And last but not least: A, you know that I'm always here for you, right?
Hahah, hi mae. Posting this because I don't think you've seen it yet (I tweeted it when we went to In-n-Out after the movies), and because you already posted our Yogurtland picture on your Tumblr. My cup of yogurt looks even bigger in pictures! I should really get the bigger cup next time, heh.
So it's been a hectic past couple of days, but I'm alright now. Sunday was fairly relaxing; I finished my homework early, and the Packers destroyed the Rams, recovering from a nail-biting loss to the Bengals last week. Notice how I didn't blog about that. My haircut didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, but everyone has been telling me that it looks fine, so I'll take your word on it. I ate an early dinner consisting of BBQ chicken and rice (how typical.) and then headed to Mae's house later on in the evening.
It felt as if I haven't been there in forever, despite the fact that it's only been a month since school started. I have to admit it feels odd not being there every other day, chillin' in the beachouse or watching TV in the living room because we're too lazy to walk to the mall. We headed to Yogurtland at around 9:30. Unsurprisingly, it was still rather packed, but that doesn't matter much because somehow we always end up being the loudest ones in the place, no matter where we go. I stacked up my cup of yogurt super high, twice as high as the cup itself and much higher than I did the past couple of times I went. Check Mae's Tumblr for the picture! Our total came out to be around $10, but it was worth every penny.
Halfway through our yogurt, I decided that I'd still be hungry afterwards, so we went over to McDonalds, but not before having some ridiculous shenanigans in the car. MAE WESSSTTTTT AND MIKEY WESSSSTTTTTT IN THE BUILDING, WESSSTTTTTTTT! I swear, we're fucking weird, and the guy who took my order at McDonalds gave me a weird look while we were trying to take our "M W" picture. I finished my McChicken in about two minutes once we got back home, but it was probably a bad idea because Panda smelled it on me and wouldn't stop licking my face the entire time that I was outside with him. I'm going to miss that dog, more than you know. Thanks for the good times and maybe I'll see you again someday. YEAH BUDDY!
Today was minimum Monday. It almost slipped my mind for a second when I woke up and saw that it was 6:51, but as soon as I realized that it was a minimum day, I rolled right back into my sheets and slept for another 15 minutes or so. School was fairly boring, another typical Monday; I drew a dolphin in Psychology and I have absolutely no idea what to draw for Spanish. We headed to Panda Express after school. They have a new item now! Sweet and fiery chicken, I believe. It's pretty good, and of course, I always get Beijing Beef as well. My fortune cookie said "You have a kind and generous heart." I hope so, I try!
The highlight of my day, however, was definitely the fact that since I had so much time to myself this afternoon, I spent it in front of the mic, dropping bars while adjusting my studio at the same time so that everything was fine and dandy. Unfortunately, the track that I recorded didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to. The intro was fine, on-point, exactly what I was aiming for, but the volume of the music was a bit too loud, and my voice is difficult to hear at times. I'll work on tweaking some of the sound and recording settings so that my next release will sound better, but considering that today's work was just a quick sample, a sort of on-the-spot snap-decision, I'm fairly content with the way it turned out.
You can check out my first-ever track on my Tumblr. Don't forget to reblog! I am going to get bigger, much bigger. Just you watch.
http://mkyend.tumblr.com/
And last but not least: A, you know that I'm always here for you, right?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
like a million bucks
MT chillin', LA chillin',
My name's Hoang-nam and I came to KILL IT!
Here's a new (old) one because Ashley Agustin complained that I always use the same picture everywhere I go. Hope you're happy!
Bet you've never heard this version of Chillin' before, huh? Sorry, I had to cut my girl Lady Gaga, but this was too dope to pass up. Maybe she'll be back later, haha.
As of now, I am no longer a Red Robin virgin! Headed to Eastridge on Friday for some grub. Good stuff, but sorry, I think I still prefer Johnny Rockets. Is the one in Great Mall still open? I have no idea, it's been awhile. I didn't get a chance to nap that day, but I certainly had plenty of attention at school: someone asked if they could take a picture of my shoes for the yearbook. "THOSE SHOES ARE WORTH LIKE $500!!!" Yeah, I know buddy, thanks for noticing! Hung out with the dead president in third, passing, me turning everything into an angry asian and him expressing his obsession with all things phallic.
Today, I woke up, went back to sleep, woke up, brushed my teeth, had half a muffin, showered, ate fried rice, drove my mom to work, stopped by my aunt's house, picked up my binder from home, went to my piano lesson, drove home with dad blasting Snoop Dogg as I got in the car, had some more fried rice, went to the DMV to practice for my test, back hom to chill as my parents left to a party, ate a corn dog and waffle fries, set up my recording studio, watched Finding Nemo, dropped a few sample recordnigs, had some salad and udon and some nice conversations on AIM.
Overall, pretty good weekend. I've gotta get up in 6 hours to watch my Packers play. Goodnight!
My name's Hoang-nam and I came to KILL IT!
Here's a new (old) one because Ashley Agustin complained that I always use the same picture everywhere I go. Hope you're happy!
Bet you've never heard this version of Chillin' before, huh? Sorry, I had to cut my girl Lady Gaga, but this was too dope to pass up. Maybe she'll be back later, haha.
As of now, I am no longer a Red Robin virgin! Headed to Eastridge on Friday for some grub. Good stuff, but sorry, I think I still prefer Johnny Rockets. Is the one in Great Mall still open? I have no idea, it's been awhile. I didn't get a chance to nap that day, but I certainly had plenty of attention at school: someone asked if they could take a picture of my shoes for the yearbook. "THOSE SHOES ARE WORTH LIKE $500!!!" Yeah, I know buddy, thanks for noticing! Hung out with the dead president in third, passing, me turning everything into an angry asian and him expressing his obsession with all things phallic.
Today, I woke up, went back to sleep, woke up, brushed my teeth, had half a muffin, showered, ate fried rice, drove my mom to work, stopped by my aunt's house, picked up my binder from home, went to my piano lesson, drove home with dad blasting Snoop Dogg as I got in the car, had some more fried rice, went to the DMV to practice for my test, back hom to chill as my parents left to a party, ate a corn dog and waffle fries, set up my recording studio, watched Finding Nemo, dropped a few sample recordnigs, had some salad and udon and some nice conversations on AIM.
Overall, pretty good weekend. I've gotta get up in 6 hours to watch my Packers play. Goodnight!
Growing Pains
What's new with me? Let's see..
Acne attacks, itchy season, not enough moisture, studio sessions, California cruisin', pink box heat, GO PACK GO, new acquaintances, old bonds, sweet tomatoes,red robins, procrastination kills, senioritis 'till I die, buenas notas, fish o' filet, flannel-stealing, spanglish-speaking, sixth period daydreams, chronic mnemonics, a black book of rhymes, a rusty frame, a quick $30, the ol' ball-and-chain, exotic indulgences, keeping things raw, clear values, open mind, half-full, Squidward Tentacles, ridiculous shenanigans, uneven haircuts, duffel-bag hustlin', watermelon Mentos, a full box of coins, license-bound, Love Happens, unfinished double-double, post-it notes out the wazoo, breaking necks right and left, forgotten chapstick, missing retainers, textless for hours, dogs getting big now, parental acceptance, feet growing ever-so-slightly, socially active, morally adept, hot cheetos and heartbreaks and another day to live. I'll explicate later, but yup, that's about it.
And I really wish you'd tell me already, but that's entirely up to you.
Acne attacks, itchy season, not enough moisture, studio sessions, California cruisin', pink box heat, GO PACK GO, new acquaintances, old bonds, sweet tomatoes,red robins, procrastination kills, senioritis 'till I die, buenas notas, fish o' filet, flannel-stealing, spanglish-speaking, sixth period daydreams, chronic mnemonics, a black book of rhymes, a rusty frame, a quick $30, the ol' ball-and-chain, exotic indulgences, keeping things raw, clear values, open mind, half-full, Squidward Tentacles, ridiculous shenanigans, uneven haircuts, duffel-bag hustlin', watermelon Mentos, a full box of coins, license-bound, Love Happens, unfinished double-double, post-it notes out the wazoo, breaking necks right and left, forgotten chapstick, missing retainers, textless for hours, dogs getting big now, parental acceptance, feet growing ever-so-slightly, socially active, morally adept, hot cheetos and heartbreaks and another day to live. I'll explicate later, but yup, that's about it.
And I really wish you'd tell me already, but that's entirely up to you.
Friday, September 25, 2009
DISCOMBOBBABOOBALATE
Super throwback, see if you remember, haha. No picture, since we never took one together, but uhh, you can have this one if you want!
This was taken at Kat's graduation a few months ago. I know, I'm ugly. And I remember Connie commented this one saying that the guy in the black is cute -__-
All good! Today was chill, and I totally forgot what I was about to say. Oh, but I went to Target and bought some organic ketchup. It's only been a week since I had Yogurtland, but I'm starting to crave it again. I can't believe that not even a week ago, I was in SoCal. I miss it, so much. No fancy food indulgences this time (no Porto's bakery, so sad), except for Kyochon chicken. My sister's dog is adorable when it tries to jump out the car window. Sometimes I get scared that he'll actually break free from my hold and get out. Haha, never! And I realized that my blogs are very mundane these days, lo siento!
Now and then, we're not so different, after all. Plans were made, adventures were had, and expectations have grown, but all in all, we're still in a cycle; or, at least I am, hoping to get out of rinse mode and into tumble-dry. But for now, it looks as if chill pills are the way to go. No problem, I've got plenty, and the only problem lies in the fact that I tend to forget or misplace them, only to find out they're missing when I need them most. Somebody help me out, here!
Or perhaps maybe, one day I'll learn to live without them, and it'll all be for the better. For now, though, sedating myself seems to be the only logical thing to do...but then again, since when have I ever applied rationale and reasoning to my decision making?
And last but not least, I doubt you'll pick up on this, brrind little girl. Heh, k, night!
P.S. Tia, if you're reading this, don't follow the Tumblr hype! Come back to Blogspot >:)
This was taken at Kat's graduation a few months ago. I know, I'm ugly. And I remember Connie commented this one saying that the guy in the black is cute -__-
All good! Today was chill, and I totally forgot what I was about to say. Oh, but I went to Target and bought some organic ketchup. It's only been a week since I had Yogurtland, but I'm starting to crave it again. I can't believe that not even a week ago, I was in SoCal. I miss it, so much. No fancy food indulgences this time (no Porto's bakery, so sad), except for Kyochon chicken. My sister's dog is adorable when it tries to jump out the car window. Sometimes I get scared that he'll actually break free from my hold and get out. Haha, never! And I realized that my blogs are very mundane these days, lo siento!
Now and then, we're not so different, after all. Plans were made, adventures were had, and expectations have grown, but all in all, we're still in a cycle; or, at least I am, hoping to get out of rinse mode and into tumble-dry. But for now, it looks as if chill pills are the way to go. No problem, I've got plenty, and the only problem lies in the fact that I tend to forget or misplace them, only to find out they're missing when I need them most. Somebody help me out, here!
Or perhaps maybe, one day I'll learn to live without them, and it'll all be for the better. For now, though, sedating myself seems to be the only logical thing to do...but then again, since when have I ever applied rationale and reasoning to my decision making?
And last but not least, I doubt you'll pick up on this, brrind little girl. Heh, k, night!
P.S. Tia, if you're reading this, don't follow the Tumblr hype! Come back to Blogspot >:)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
fortuneteller
one of the better (and more obscure) episodes of avatar. i enjoyed it.
i'm calm(er) now, but there's still a lot on my mind. too much, even. all of these thoughts cannot be good for me. go away!
anyways, IT'S A FUCKING MIRACLE. after NINE long years of waiting, my avocado tree FINALLY produced some fruits this year. I'm not quite sure what happened or how it happened; the last time I checked, I was told that it was a male tree (how does that work?!) and that it wasn't capable of producing fruits. I woke up from my nap today to hear my mom telling me that my tree finally has fruits. I didn't believe her at first, but went outside and BAM! sure enough, there was my beautiful tree, with fruits at last :D
i'd like to think that maybe it means something. speaking of which, people seem to use the expression "turning over a new leaf" fairly often. just what exactly does that mean? how do you "turn over" a new leaf? Somebody explain it to me, but for now, I'll keep turning over old leaves. It's pretty fun, actually.
my goals for wednesday? finish homework. work out. get my recording studio straightened out. change my blogspot layout, i seriously do not know what to do with it. update playlists. sell my stuff! sleep more, sleep earlier. drive! eight days left, sweet.
and i totally forgot what else i was going to say, so goodnight.
haha, not today. maybe tomorrow!
i'm calm(er) now, but there's still a lot on my mind. too much, even. all of these thoughts cannot be good for me. go away!
anyways, IT'S A FUCKING MIRACLE. after NINE long years of waiting, my avocado tree FINALLY produced some fruits this year. I'm not quite sure what happened or how it happened; the last time I checked, I was told that it was a male tree (how does that work?!) and that it wasn't capable of producing fruits. I woke up from my nap today to hear my mom telling me that my tree finally has fruits. I didn't believe her at first, but went outside and BAM! sure enough, there was my beautiful tree, with fruits at last :D
i'd like to think that maybe it means something. speaking of which, people seem to use the expression "turning over a new leaf" fairly often. just what exactly does that mean? how do you "turn over" a new leaf? Somebody explain it to me, but for now, I'll keep turning over old leaves. It's pretty fun, actually.
my goals for wednesday? finish homework. work out. get my recording studio straightened out. change my blogspot layout, i seriously do not know what to do with it. update playlists. sell my stuff! sleep more, sleep earlier. drive! eight days left, sweet.
and i totally forgot what else i was going to say, so goodnight.
haha, not today. maybe tomorrow!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
grumble grumble
warning: possible strong use of expletives ahead, haha.
Well, Kristina said I'm a pretty blunt person, so for the sake of being blunt: I absolutely cannot stand it when people only talk to me out of convenience or necessity. Please don't misunderstand me; I don't mind helping out people whenever I can. Not to toot my own horn (heh), but I'm a pretty nice dude. However, I don't appreciate it when people try to "sweet-talk" me, acting as if they're genuinely interested in having a conversation with me, only to end up asking me for a favor, and then not even bothering to talk to me after they've gotten what they came for.
Seriously, dawg? And no, this isn't directed towards anyone in particular, but rather, more of a public service announcement, so to speak. But seriously? I don't expect to be super buddy-buddy with you and talk to you 24/7, but there are a lot of people that I can think of (who I won't name) who often come to me asking for favors or advice, yet when I try to talk to them, just have a normal conversation, they can't be bothered. Too cool to talk to me? Maybe you're too cool for my fucking help, too. Go ask your own damn friends because apparently, I'm only useful to you sometimes.
I understand that everyone is busy; everyone has their own lives to live and their own responsibilities to take care of: homework, sports, pets, siblings, family matters, church, work, WHATEVER. Again, I'm not asking to be your fucking best friend or for you to tell me what you're doing 24/7. I'm not fucking twitter. But I'm always willing to help out anyone with anything that they may have a problem with, as long as I'm not super busy (i.e. OMG HOUSE ON FIRE BRB STOP DROP AND ROLL) or as long as what they need isn't super demanding (UHMM HAY MIKEY CAN YOU LIEK DO MAH HOMEWOEK FOR ME CAUSE UHH I R LAZZY AND I DUN NOE HOW TO USE GOOGLE TO GET DA HALPZ LUL). But honestly now...some people, sheesh. All I want is to have a conversation, see how you've been, talk about random shit, whatever, what normal people do, and I can't even get that with some of you shady asses.
I also cannot stand indecisiveness. Can you pick something and committ to it, already!? Again, not really directed towards any one person in particular (although I can certainly think of some people..), just something that a lot of people have done over the years (and are still doing) that have ticked me off. There is a big difference between weighing your options, and constantly bouncing back and forth between them simply because you cannot commit to one thing. You may think that you can have your cake and eat it, too (i wish), but keep it up and that cake is going to be gone, and it won't be in your stomach. Also, don't tell me you're going to do something if you know you can't make it, and don't give me a certain time if you know you're going to be late. Is it really that hard? Either you can do it, or you can't. And if you're not sure if you can or not, at least keep me updated. If you're going to call it quits on me, at least let me know.
I arrived home today to be greeted with a shit-ton of homework, of which I finished what I can. Hopefully my teachers will give me an extension since I wasn't in class today, but if not, then I'm screwed. I haven't worked out in days and my mood has been one giant pendulum lately. And I have to wake up in four fucking hours.
Despite this little fit of rage I just had, I suppose that deep down inside, my anger and rage stems from disappointment and let-downs. Perhaps I expect too much out of people, and perhaps I haven't been the best person I could have been. Maybe my over-eagerness is a flaw, or is it because I choose to make my own path rather than taking that of others? I'm disappointed in a lot of people, but most of all, in myself. I'm not where I had hoped to be at this point in time, but I want everyone to know that I am still trying my best to get where I want to be, and I apologize for any pain, grief, stress, or other negative emotions I've caused people throughout my life.
Mad, sad, frustrated, morose, these words are all bad, bad bad bad. Out you go! Maybe my homie Asher is right: time to stop waiting on the world to change and take things into my own hands.
Tomorrow's blog will be much more cheerful. There is my dark side, I hope you enjoyed seeing it, it doesn't come around often.
Well, Kristina said I'm a pretty blunt person, so for the sake of being blunt: I absolutely cannot stand it when people only talk to me out of convenience or necessity. Please don't misunderstand me; I don't mind helping out people whenever I can. Not to toot my own horn (heh), but I'm a pretty nice dude. However, I don't appreciate it when people try to "sweet-talk" me, acting as if they're genuinely interested in having a conversation with me, only to end up asking me for a favor, and then not even bothering to talk to me after they've gotten what they came for.
Seriously, dawg? And no, this isn't directed towards anyone in particular, but rather, more of a public service announcement, so to speak. But seriously? I don't expect to be super buddy-buddy with you and talk to you 24/7, but there are a lot of people that I can think of (who I won't name) who often come to me asking for favors or advice, yet when I try to talk to them, just have a normal conversation, they can't be bothered. Too cool to talk to me? Maybe you're too cool for my fucking help, too. Go ask your own damn friends because apparently, I'm only useful to you sometimes.
I understand that everyone is busy; everyone has their own lives to live and their own responsibilities to take care of: homework, sports, pets, siblings, family matters, church, work, WHATEVER. Again, I'm not asking to be your fucking best friend or for you to tell me what you're doing 24/7. I'm not fucking twitter. But I'm always willing to help out anyone with anything that they may have a problem with, as long as I'm not super busy (i.e. OMG HOUSE ON FIRE BRB STOP DROP AND ROLL) or as long as what they need isn't super demanding (UHMM HAY MIKEY CAN YOU LIEK DO MAH HOMEWOEK FOR ME CAUSE UHH I R LAZZY AND I DUN NOE HOW TO USE GOOGLE TO GET DA HALPZ LUL). But honestly now...some people, sheesh. All I want is to have a conversation, see how you've been, talk about random shit, whatever, what normal people do, and I can't even get that with some of you shady asses.
I also cannot stand indecisiveness. Can you pick something and committ to it, already!? Again, not really directed towards any one person in particular (although I can certainly think of some people..), just something that a lot of people have done over the years (and are still doing) that have ticked me off. There is a big difference between weighing your options, and constantly bouncing back and forth between them simply because you cannot commit to one thing. You may think that you can have your cake and eat it, too (i wish), but keep it up and that cake is going to be gone, and it won't be in your stomach. Also, don't tell me you're going to do something if you know you can't make it, and don't give me a certain time if you know you're going to be late. Is it really that hard? Either you can do it, or you can't. And if you're not sure if you can or not, at least keep me updated. If you're going to call it quits on me, at least let me know.
I arrived home today to be greeted with a shit-ton of homework, of which I finished what I can. Hopefully my teachers will give me an extension since I wasn't in class today, but if not, then I'm screwed. I haven't worked out in days and my mood has been one giant pendulum lately. And I have to wake up in four fucking hours.
Despite this little fit of rage I just had, I suppose that deep down inside, my anger and rage stems from disappointment and let-downs. Perhaps I expect too much out of people, and perhaps I haven't been the best person I could have been. Maybe my over-eagerness is a flaw, or is it because I choose to make my own path rather than taking that of others? I'm disappointed in a lot of people, but most of all, in myself. I'm not where I had hoped to be at this point in time, but I want everyone to know that I am still trying my best to get where I want to be, and I apologize for any pain, grief, stress, or other negative emotions I've caused people throughout my life.
Mad, sad, frustrated, morose, these words are all bad, bad bad bad. Out you go! Maybe my homie Asher is right: time to stop waiting on the world to change and take things into my own hands.
Tomorrow's blog will be much more cheerful. There is my dark side, I hope you enjoyed seeing it, it doesn't come around often.
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