Replay

Na na na na, every day...


I really do not know what I was trying to accomplish with my previous blog post. I suppose it was a bleak attempt at relieving my stress and trying to rationalize and justify these insecure feelings of mine, but truth is, I've known what was wrong all along.

I just miss you. That's all there really is too it. I know it's the holiday season, and you're spending a lot of quality time with your family, and for that, I'm happy for you. I love my family, and I know I would want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. I don't blame you, nor am I asking you to stop enjoying your time with them, but when it comes right down to it, the fact that we haven't had much time for each other lately has been driving me insane. I miss your goodmorning/goodnight texts, your little jokes and stories that you would always tell me, the way that you would always talk to me with so much enthusiasm. You were the only one who really showed a genuine, heartfelt interest in me, and I can't fathom what life would be like without you.

I know it may seem like it, but I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for you to spend 24/7, 365 talking to me, being with me, telling me that you miss me. I may complain about you not texting back, and I may constantly wonder where you are, who you're with, asking about other guys, afraid that you'll fall for someone new, but in the end, I'm not asking you to change. I'm not asking you to cater to my needs. No, I just want you to understand that the things I do both for and to you are all done out of love.

Of course, I do have needs, and so do you. After all, we're only human. And to be honest? No. No, you don't fulfill my needs. Not as much as I'd like you to, although during the times when you do try to, it is always more than enough. But that's beside the point, and all selfishness aside, I hope you know that I am always trying, willing and able to do anything and everything in my power to cater to your needs, simply because ever since the day we first met, I knew that there hidden beneath your beautiful exterior was an even more beautiful heart and soul, and I would do anything to make you smile, because I truly believe you are worth it. Whether you like it or not, agree or disagree, that's the way it is.

So no matter how annoying I might get or how much I might nag and be nosy, I hope you can understand that it's simply a result of my loneliness, the emptiness that I feel when I'm without you, and not because I'm trying to push you away. No, you're the only one I'm going to be catering to, no matter how much you may dislike me at the moment. There is no one above you.

With all that off my chest, I need to get some sleep. I hope the wind has stopped scaring you, and oh,

I miss you, AJAA.


Like my iPod stuck on Replay...