Dear Kuipo,
It seems as if it's been forever since we've talked. You missed my last three texts and two phone calls, but that's alright. You're sick, and I hope that you feel better soon. I also hope that you know I would never keep a secret from you, no matter what. If you really want to know what's been bugging me, then I'll let you know as soon as we have some time to talk and we're not both completely beat-up and brain-dead from the things we have to take care of in our individual lives.
I also hope that you aren't giving up. Perhaps these mood and "feeling swings", so to speak, are merely a side-effect of a few chemical imbalances, and that your irritability is not directed towards me, and most importantly, not permanent. You and I both know that deep down inside, it's what you really want and that the possibilities are endless, but I must admit that there are times when your lack of faith disturbs me. I guess when it comes right down to it, I just don't want you to worry, because I know there is nothing that we cannot do if we're together.
Goodnight, sweet dreams.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Fuzzy Wuzzies
This was the term that my old AP Chemistry teacher Mr. Cervantes used to describe...shoot, what was it again? I forgot. Entropy? I think that's it!
And here I am, months passed and an entire school-year older, still feeling these "fuzzy-wuzzies". An oldie but a goodie. In fact, I don't think I've posted this yet, in spite of the fact that it's been about eight months since I snapped this shot on my first trip to Yogurtland while I was in Long Beach, visiting my family on Winter Break. I could sure go for a cup of this right about now! Flipping through the pages of my Flickr today really made me wonder what happened to my love of photography over these past months. At most, it was a simple hobby to me, something to keep me occupied, conveniently aided by the fact that my dad already had a camera that I could use when he wasn't, but the spark is gone now, as it is in a lot of things. I think it's time to get it back.
Today must have been a day to reminisce, as my Flickr wasn't the only thing I reflected upon. So much has occurred, events that have thrown my entire life off-course, and it's somewhat dreadful to think that there are still over two entire months remaining in this year! Yet when I look back upon all that I've done (and haven't done) this year, I can truly say that time flies, whether or not you're having fun. My old blogs, some of which I had forgotten that I had even written in the first place, seem so out-of-place, so disjointed when compared to my more recent musings. Nonetheless, these forgotten blogs still serve as the basis and foundation of everything that I am today. I didn't italicize sentences here and there for nothing, you know!
The last subject that I'll touch upon tonight is one that I don't discuss often, at least not openly, but something that I still feel very strongly about. As some of you may know, I was once an avid World of Warcraft player. My first foray into this little gem of an MMO took place in early 2006, when the "World" was a much different place and the concept of an MMORPG was still generally regarded as "uncool" to the public eye. But to me, it was something to help cope with my lack of social graces, something to dedicate my time and devotion into. Over time I watched the game grow, expand, evolve, as did I. As asinine as this may sound, one of my biggest regrets in life is a decision that I made regarding this very game.
I was never the cream of the crop when it came to my standing in the game, but I was pretty high up there. I had raiding experience in almost every end-game raid in both vanilla WoW and BC, from ZG to MC to Karazhan to SWP, and the pinnacle of my gear progression was a mix of T5 and T6 gear. For most of my WoW-career, I had been in mid- to high-end raiding guilds on my server (Edict of Pain, Mustang Gang, Reckless Hate - Horde, Kil'Jaeden US). In the fall of 2007, I was presented with an opportunity to join the #3 Horde guild on the server, Sigil, an offer which I had turned down due to my desire to spend more time out and about rather than in front of a computer screen. Unfortunately for me, my social life only deteriorated after I had turned down the offer, and by the time I had come back to the game, it was too late.
Sigil eventually disbanded, but not before progressing and defeating nearly all of what BC had to offer. Many ex-Sigil members, including Ambient, one of the most revered Warriors on the entire server, moved on to join a guild called Cuties Only, which my close friends Text and Gouryella/Cashnprizes also eventually joined. I've been away from the game for a very, very long period of time, but I never forget a name. I hopped onto MMO-Champion.com earlier this evening to find a video of Cuties Only tackling on Icecrown Citadel on the PTRs. It turns out that Cuties Only is now one of the best guilds in the entire world. And to think, I could be in that guild at this very moment, making world firsts and being adorned worldwide as one of the best Warriors to play the game.
Was my decision the right choice? I'd say so. Time away from the game has given me a lot of time to mature, both mentally and physically, and allowed me to become more outgoing and adventurous. There are still times when I sit and ponder where I would be today had I stuck to my commitments, but no matter how far my fascinations extend, pixels and guildmates will never compare to those who I am blessed to be with every day, in mind and spirit. (Still, I wish I could say that I had a full set of T9 right now.)
After a long day of looking in the rear-view mirror, I honestly have to say that I miss Junior year, at least to some extent, but I also know that nothing can stay broken forever, and that whatever good and positive that was once present can always be fixed, repaired, built up stronger and better than before. Everyone has their doubts and worries, but in the end, my eagerness and optimism outshine all.
Thanks to those who are taking the time to read what I write, even though a lot of times, not everything will make sense, as I use Blogspot as my own personal space to clear my thoughts and feelings. Thanks again to those who keep up with my life, I'll be sure to do my best to repay the favor.
And just because it doesn't feel right to end my blog that way, one more thing:
I feel fantastic, I'm feeling fine.
P.S. I'm also out of tissues. What the hell!
And here I am, months passed and an entire school-year older, still feeling these "fuzzy-wuzzies". An oldie but a goodie. In fact, I don't think I've posted this yet, in spite of the fact that it's been about eight months since I snapped this shot on my first trip to Yogurtland while I was in Long Beach, visiting my family on Winter Break. I could sure go for a cup of this right about now! Flipping through the pages of my Flickr today really made me wonder what happened to my love of photography over these past months. At most, it was a simple hobby to me, something to keep me occupied, conveniently aided by the fact that my dad already had a camera that I could use when he wasn't, but the spark is gone now, as it is in a lot of things. I think it's time to get it back.
Today must have been a day to reminisce, as my Flickr wasn't the only thing I reflected upon. So much has occurred, events that have thrown my entire life off-course, and it's somewhat dreadful to think that there are still over two entire months remaining in this year! Yet when I look back upon all that I've done (and haven't done) this year, I can truly say that time flies, whether or not you're having fun. My old blogs, some of which I had forgotten that I had even written in the first place, seem so out-of-place, so disjointed when compared to my more recent musings. Nonetheless, these forgotten blogs still serve as the basis and foundation of everything that I am today. I didn't italicize sentences here and there for nothing, you know!
The last subject that I'll touch upon tonight is one that I don't discuss often, at least not openly, but something that I still feel very strongly about. As some of you may know, I was once an avid World of Warcraft player. My first foray into this little gem of an MMO took place in early 2006, when the "World" was a much different place and the concept of an MMORPG was still generally regarded as "uncool" to the public eye. But to me, it was something to help cope with my lack of social graces, something to dedicate my time and devotion into. Over time I watched the game grow, expand, evolve, as did I. As asinine as this may sound, one of my biggest regrets in life is a decision that I made regarding this very game.
I was never the cream of the crop when it came to my standing in the game, but I was pretty high up there. I had raiding experience in almost every end-game raid in both vanilla WoW and BC, from ZG to MC to Karazhan to SWP, and the pinnacle of my gear progression was a mix of T5 and T6 gear. For most of my WoW-career, I had been in mid- to high-end raiding guilds on my server (Edict of Pain, Mustang Gang, Reckless Hate - Horde, Kil'Jaeden US). In the fall of 2007, I was presented with an opportunity to join the #3 Horde guild on the server, Sigil, an offer which I had turned down due to my desire to spend more time out and about rather than in front of a computer screen. Unfortunately for me, my social life only deteriorated after I had turned down the offer, and by the time I had come back to the game, it was too late.
Sigil eventually disbanded, but not before progressing and defeating nearly all of what BC had to offer. Many ex-Sigil members, including Ambient, one of the most revered Warriors on the entire server, moved on to join a guild called Cuties Only, which my close friends Text and Gouryella/Cashnprizes also eventually joined. I've been away from the game for a very, very long period of time, but I never forget a name. I hopped onto MMO-Champion.com earlier this evening to find a video of Cuties Only tackling on Icecrown Citadel on the PTRs. It turns out that Cuties Only is now one of the best guilds in the entire world. And to think, I could be in that guild at this very moment, making world firsts and being adorned worldwide as one of the best Warriors to play the game.
Was my decision the right choice? I'd say so. Time away from the game has given me a lot of time to mature, both mentally and physically, and allowed me to become more outgoing and adventurous. There are still times when I sit and ponder where I would be today had I stuck to my commitments, but no matter how far my fascinations extend, pixels and guildmates will never compare to those who I am blessed to be with every day, in mind and spirit. (Still, I wish I could say that I had a full set of T9 right now.)
After a long day of looking in the rear-view mirror, I honestly have to say that I miss Junior year, at least to some extent, but I also know that nothing can stay broken forever, and that whatever good and positive that was once present can always be fixed, repaired, built up stronger and better than before. Everyone has their doubts and worries, but in the end, my eagerness and optimism outshine all.
Thanks to those who are taking the time to read what I write, even though a lot of times, not everything will make sense, as I use Blogspot as my own personal space to clear my thoughts and feelings. Thanks again to those who keep up with my life, I'll be sure to do my best to repay the favor.
And just because it doesn't feel right to end my blog that way, one more thing:
I feel fantastic, I'm feeling fine.
P.S. I'm also out of tissues. What the hell!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
IRON MAN
I hate being kept a secret.
I'll explain later. This has become one of my favorite new cartoon shows, by the way!
I'll explain later. This has become one of my favorite new cartoon shows, by the way!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Common Ground
For the first time in a long time, actually.
There are simply too many things on my mind at this moment, far too many things to say, to the point where any attempt at arranging these thoughts into a blocks of text in a uniform manner would be absolutely pointless. So, just as I do when I'm home alone and nobody's looking, generally in the shower: I'm just going to spit.
I'm glad that we had that lo(ooooooooo)ng talk today, to say the very least. It really has amazed me how much our communication has improved lately. No, not in the sense of talking to each other on a constant and consistent basis, but in how we communicate. Were this a few months ago, chances are you would have ripped me to pieces for even broaching the subject in the first place. Our newfound ability to have an open discussion with each other on this topic while keeping the tension and negativity to a minimum really amazes me, as well as the fact that you are now able to openly admit these feelings that you've held inside for so long. Thanks for a great effort!
I'd be a liar if I were to tell you that I am where I want to be right now, but I can't deny the fact that I'm content with the way things currently are. There's still much work to be completed and healing to be done, and we both know that's going to take some time. But as long as you know that you're not alone, that I've got your back when it comes to this, then I'm sure you'll be fine. And yeah, you can question his motives all you want, but I'm still absolutely positively certain that he still misses and feels for you.
And what about "us"? Quotation marks, because nobody really knows what's coming next. Nothing soon, obviously, but all scars heal with time. What's going to happen after yours patch themselves up? I don't know, but all I can say for sure is that I can help you through the healing process. I've been there and done that; I know what it feels like to be in your shoes (which I can probably fit if I try hard enough), but more importantly, I know what you need. Maybe it's not what you want as of now, but I know what you need, and it's not a question of "Can I provide it?", but rather, "Will you let me?", because I know damm well that I certainly can give it to you, pardon my French.
But no pressure, on the real! Forrest Gump's mother once told him that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get. Ain't that the truth, Ruth? I have no expectations, but so much hope, hope that, as I told you earlier, has been in my heart for as long as I can remember, since the day that we began talking, fueling me day-by-day. You tell me you don't want me to get my hopes up, but the truth is, your presence in my life alone gives me more hope than you could ever imagine, and through no fault of your own, I'm feeling as high as a kite right now. Some may call me stupid, and others, blind; I prefer to think of myself as a dreamer.
I must admit that I am scared to death, literally shaking in my boots (Dora-less) to find out what life has in store for us next. What if it doesn't work out? Or if you never heal? What if there's no cure? Maybe I'll never become a famous musician, and you'll never become my paparazzi. But maybe, just maybe...there exists a small chance, miniscule, micro, SMALLER THAN ME, that things will work out for the better, for both of us. Well, I told myself that any chance I get, no matter how small it is, is worth taking. And right about here is where I stop attempting to turn these feelings into an elegant arrangement of words, because the sound of my heart pounding against my chest has just made me lose my train of thought. Well, you get the idea.
Really, you are something special. Pardon the sweet-talk, because you ain't even mine, but I have to say this: You are worth it. I told myself that nine months ago and I continue to tell myself that every day when I wake up, every night before I fall asleep. This may sound stupid, but I think I knew exactly how I felt about you ever since the very first time we met. It just took awhile for me to realize it. Well, whatever the case, I'm glad that I've made it this far. Do I want to go farther? Of course. But the simple fact that I have someone in my life to adore, someone who never gets tired of my pointless ramblings, a person whose eyes light up upon seeing pennies on the floor and who's big, big head is brimming with fun, fun stories to tell me each and every time we talk (and with such enthusiasm!), someone to take the first bite of the chocolate cake for me, and without even asking..I would continue, but my train of thought has just fallen off the tracks, AGAIN.
Well, I think I've made my point clear. All in all, I've got to say that my life is pretty damn good right now. I can't wait until Saturday. I'm also sleepy as ffffff, and terrible at ending blog posts these days, so goodnight!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."
There are simply too many things on my mind at this moment, far too many things to say, to the point where any attempt at arranging these thoughts into a blocks of text in a uniform manner would be absolutely pointless. So, just as I do when I'm home alone and nobody's looking, generally in the shower: I'm just going to spit.
I'm glad that we had that lo(ooooooooo)ng talk today, to say the very least. It really has amazed me how much our communication has improved lately. No, not in the sense of talking to each other on a constant and consistent basis, but in how we communicate. Were this a few months ago, chances are you would have ripped me to pieces for even broaching the subject in the first place. Our newfound ability to have an open discussion with each other on this topic while keeping the tension and negativity to a minimum really amazes me, as well as the fact that you are now able to openly admit these feelings that you've held inside for so long. Thanks for a great effort!
I'd be a liar if I were to tell you that I am where I want to be right now, but I can't deny the fact that I'm content with the way things currently are. There's still much work to be completed and healing to be done, and we both know that's going to take some time. But as long as you know that you're not alone, that I've got your back when it comes to this, then I'm sure you'll be fine. And yeah, you can question his motives all you want, but I'm still absolutely positively certain that he still misses and feels for you.
And what about "us"? Quotation marks, because nobody really knows what's coming next. Nothing soon, obviously, but all scars heal with time. What's going to happen after yours patch themselves up? I don't know, but all I can say for sure is that I can help you through the healing process. I've been there and done that; I know what it feels like to be in your shoes (which I can probably fit if I try hard enough), but more importantly, I know what you need. Maybe it's not what you want as of now, but I know what you need, and it's not a question of "Can I provide it?", but rather, "Will you let me?", because I know damm well that I certainly can give it to you, pardon my French.
But no pressure, on the real! Forrest Gump's mother once told him that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get. Ain't that the truth, Ruth? I have no expectations, but so much hope, hope that, as I told you earlier, has been in my heart for as long as I can remember, since the day that we began talking, fueling me day-by-day. You tell me you don't want me to get my hopes up, but the truth is, your presence in my life alone gives me more hope than you could ever imagine, and through no fault of your own, I'm feeling as high as a kite right now. Some may call me stupid, and others, blind; I prefer to think of myself as a dreamer.
I must admit that I am scared to death, literally shaking in my boots (Dora-less) to find out what life has in store for us next. What if it doesn't work out? Or if you never heal? What if there's no cure? Maybe I'll never become a famous musician, and you'll never become my paparazzi. But maybe, just maybe...there exists a small chance, miniscule, micro, SMALLER THAN ME, that things will work out for the better, for both of us. Well, I told myself that any chance I get, no matter how small it is, is worth taking. And right about here is where I stop attempting to turn these feelings into an elegant arrangement of words, because the sound of my heart pounding against my chest has just made me lose my train of thought. Well, you get the idea.
Really, you are something special. Pardon the sweet-talk, because you ain't even mine, but I have to say this: You are worth it. I told myself that nine months ago and I continue to tell myself that every day when I wake up, every night before I fall asleep. This may sound stupid, but I think I knew exactly how I felt about you ever since the very first time we met. It just took awhile for me to realize it. Well, whatever the case, I'm glad that I've made it this far. Do I want to go farther? Of course. But the simple fact that I have someone in my life to adore, someone who never gets tired of my pointless ramblings, a person whose eyes light up upon seeing pennies on the floor and who's big, big head is brimming with fun, fun stories to tell me each and every time we talk (and with such enthusiasm!), someone to take the first bite of the chocolate cake for me, and without even asking..I would continue, but my train of thought has just fallen off the tracks, AGAIN.
Well, I think I've made my point clear. All in all, I've got to say that my life is pretty damn good right now. I can't wait until Saturday. I'm also sleepy as ffffff, and terrible at ending blog posts these days, so goodnight!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I Am.
I am...
I am a banana
I am a brilliant procrastinator
I am an artist at work
I am lost in a sea of faces
I am an optimistic realist
I am a rational existentialist
I am a never-ending rhyme
I am an unfinished book
I am a bittersweet ending
I am a haiku with too many syllables
I am a held-in sneeze
I am a sedated dreamer
I am a creator of goals
I am a man of too many words
I am an imperfect son
I am a bringer of joy
I am a bouncing ball
I am a hot air balloon
I almost almost finished with this list
I am Mikey Tran,
and I love you.
Dry your eyes and slow your breath,
because as much as it pains me to be without you,
it kills me even more to see you cry.
Yet there are times in life when things cannot stay locked up,
feelings frenzy and enrage, gripped in a constant battle
against your will and drive to keep them hidden within.
So for now, lower your walls and dismiss your pride
dispel these illusions and end the charades
Let your tears flow, and I will be your shoulder to lean on.
I am a banana
I am a brilliant procrastinator
I am an artist at work
I am lost in a sea of faces
I am an optimistic realist
I am a rational existentialist
I am a never-ending rhyme
I am an unfinished book
I am a bittersweet ending
I am a haiku with too many syllables
I am a held-in sneeze
I am a sedated dreamer
I am a creator of goals
I am a man of too many words
I am an imperfect son
I am a bringer of joy
I am a bouncing ball
I am a hot air balloon
I almost almost finished with this list
I am Mikey Tran,
and I love you.
Dry your eyes and slow your breath,
because as much as it pains me to be without you,
it kills me even more to see you cry.
Yet there are times in life when things cannot stay locked up,
feelings frenzy and enrage, gripped in a constant battle
against your will and drive to keep them hidden within.
So for now, lower your walls and dismiss your pride
dispel these illusions and end the charades
Let your tears flow, and I will be your shoulder to lean on.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Confession Number ??? +1
I began to cry last night after picking up the phone and hearing your voice. I don't know why.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Confession Number ???
There are times when I don't even feel good enough to be your friend, let alone your boyfriend.
Here's to tomorrow, I'll make it better than today was.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Five Minutes to Midnight
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That's why I keep you close to my heart.
Missin' you on a Saturday evening, filled with shortcomings and unexpected pleasantries. The thought of you runs through my mind like my fingers through your hair, your spunk and your charm far brighter than this pumpkin that now sits next to my mom's flower vase. There are too many words unspoken, feelings unexpressed and stories left unfinished, so many adventures left to go on and intricacies to explore with and about each other, but for now they'll have to wait. It is my every aspiration and desire that one day, you'll be able to find more than you are looking for and all the comfort you deserve in me, and that maybe one day I'll finally be able to finish this book.
For now, though, a late-night outing is waiting for me just off Capital Expressway. I'll catch you later, I promise. I hope you had a great time tonight!
We'll see our name in city lights.
Missin' you on a Saturday evening, filled with shortcomings and unexpected pleasantries. The thought of you runs through my mind like my fingers through your hair, your spunk and your charm far brighter than this pumpkin that now sits next to my mom's flower vase. There are too many words unspoken, feelings unexpressed and stories left unfinished, so many adventures left to go on and intricacies to explore with and about each other, but for now they'll have to wait. It is my every aspiration and desire that one day, you'll be able to find more than you are looking for and all the comfort you deserve in me, and that maybe one day I'll finally be able to finish this book.
For now, though, a late-night outing is waiting for me just off Capital Expressway. I'll catch you later, I promise. I hope you had a great time tonight!
We'll see our name in city lights.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Puddles and Rooftops
This week is Homecoming Week. Go Seniors!
Patience can be a difficult game to learn, and is a deadly force when combined with the surrounding chaos and confusion. My days peak with daily adventures around town and are weighted by the loss of the spotlight, culminating in silent solitude as I collect my thoughts in this dimly-lit room. *-CUT
The waves are taking their toll. I'll be back later.
Patience can be a difficult game to learn, and is a deadly force when combined with the surrounding chaos and confusion. My days peak with daily adventures around town and are weighted by the loss of the spotlight, culminating in silent solitude as I collect my thoughts in this dimly-lit room. *-CUT
The waves are taking their toll. I'll be back later.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
ONION SALE
So Kelli called me Mikeysaurus on Friday (I think) and it reminded me of this picture. Except the "I Love You" part, because I secretly hate her guts and have dreams about her getting into car crashes. No, just kidding.
If you haven't seen Paranormal Activity: It did NOT live up to the hype. Okay, I'll admit, it was pretty scary and had me covering my eyes most of the time, but for a movie that everyone is talking about and waiting in two-hour lines at midnight to go see, it could have been a lot better. I'm still creeped out by it, though.
Anyways. "What the heck would Europeans do with silk?" "They could make silk thongs...which are very sexy." My friends are random as fuck. Matt's new system bumps like a motha- , and there are way too many boppers and hypebeasts at Mercado.
ANYWAYS. Oops, I already started my previous paragraph with that. ANYWAYS, my parents are watching a movie now, and I think I hear the little Disney logo theme, so OFF I GO!
P.S. Yes, as much of a bitch move as that was for me to do that, I still love you. Hope you know.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Throw Some ____
I don't see why you get mad over the stupidest shit ever, seriously, because at least I had the decency to ask you about it rather than just assuming everything I heard is true. And I also fail to see why you always drag your friends into it; they were your friends first, they have no reason to hate you, so why would they go out of their way to do so? All they were trying to do was to help ME out, so if you see that as "backstabbing", then that's your problem.
But really? So I heard a few words and ask you about it, and you decide to get butthurt. About what? Your "privacy"? The simple fact that you are saying things about me that you don't want me to hear should be enough of a reason for me to see you as a bad friend and leave it at that. The only reason I keep coming back is because I love you and care for you too much to just up and leave like that, and throughout all this shit, who's side did I take? Yours or your friends? Each and every time, the result has been the same. Think about it.
If you really want to know what people think of you, then I'll tell you: They think you're playing me, that you're leading me on, that you're only using me whenever you feel that its convenient and to your benefit to do so. And I don't blame them for thinking that, either; either you love me or you don't, either you want me as more than a friend or you don't, there is no "in-between". Don't keep thinking that you can like me one day and not like me the next day; that's worked for you so far, but the only reason it's worked is because I treat you like a fucking princess. I can never say no to you, no matter how much you've hurt me in the past, but maybe it's time to change that.
You were my fucking best friend for the better half of 2009, and at times, it was evident to BOTH OF US that we both wanted more from each other. You can try to deny it if you want, but your actions were proof of your feelings, feelings which may be long-gone now, but was, without a doubt, there for me at one point. If you want to go back to your private blog, then go ahead. Have your "privacy", something you seem to love SO much that you get butthurt over. But no matter how much you succumb and conform, how much you begin to corrupt and accept, possibly even embrace these values and traits that should not be a part of ANY friendship whatsoever, just remember that I will always be a friend to you, and as true-blue as friends come.
Quite frankly, I don't care who reads this blog, because I have nothing to hide. So, public service announcement: if you want to make assumptions based on what you read and infer from our blogs, then go ahead. If you want to hear my side of the story, feel free to ask. The choice is yours.
Here is my life on display. Not for sale, please don't touch, thank you and have a nice day.
But really? So I heard a few words and ask you about it, and you decide to get butthurt. About what? Your "privacy"? The simple fact that you are saying things about me that you don't want me to hear should be enough of a reason for me to see you as a bad friend and leave it at that. The only reason I keep coming back is because I love you and care for you too much to just up and leave like that, and throughout all this shit, who's side did I take? Yours or your friends? Each and every time, the result has been the same. Think about it.
If you really want to know what people think of you, then I'll tell you: They think you're playing me, that you're leading me on, that you're only using me whenever you feel that its convenient and to your benefit to do so. And I don't blame them for thinking that, either; either you love me or you don't, either you want me as more than a friend or you don't, there is no "in-between". Don't keep thinking that you can like me one day and not like me the next day; that's worked for you so far, but the only reason it's worked is because I treat you like a fucking princess. I can never say no to you, no matter how much you've hurt me in the past, but maybe it's time to change that.
You were my fucking best friend for the better half of 2009, and at times, it was evident to BOTH OF US that we both wanted more from each other. You can try to deny it if you want, but your actions were proof of your feelings, feelings which may be long-gone now, but was, without a doubt, there for me at one point. If you want to go back to your private blog, then go ahead. Have your "privacy", something you seem to love SO much that you get butthurt over. But no matter how much you succumb and conform, how much you begin to corrupt and accept, possibly even embrace these values and traits that should not be a part of ANY friendship whatsoever, just remember that I will always be a friend to you, and as true-blue as friends come.
Quite frankly, I don't care who reads this blog, because I have nothing to hide. So, public service announcement: if you want to make assumptions based on what you read and infer from our blogs, then go ahead. If you want to hear my side of the story, feel free to ask. The choice is yours.
Here is my life on display. Not for sale, please don't touch, thank you and have a nice day.
Misconceptions
Backstab? Nahh homie, they're just lookin' out for me, because it would seem that you're just playing me.
Like I said, pick and choose, love me or don't. I need something definite, no half-assed shit.
Like I said, pick and choose, love me or don't. I need something definite, no half-assed shit.
Cachorro
Guess I got some pretty big footsteps to follow in.
No homework and lots of sleep makes Mikey Tran a happy man. This entire week has been nothing but hectic, but at least today gave me a chance to relax. I fell asleep in first period again, as does everyone else, and I probably would have fallen asleep in second period as well if I didn't have a test to take. Hopefully I did fine, but thank goodness that it won't be going on the first progress report. We talked about Freud for the entire class period, and between awkward glances and giggles with Thomas, Danielle, and Kelli, I actually learned a great deal about fixations. Fourth period was a snoozer; we played a jeopardy-like game, in which I took home 4 points for my side of the room. Spanish was spent discussing different cultures in other Spanish-speaking countries, of which there are 21 of, until Connie remembered to ask our teacher about the burritos last-minute. Sixth period was boring as usual, but I finally finished my unit and had a chance to pick out my next piece and play on the big keyboard for once.
So, no game, huh? Your words and your actions are so contradictory that I think the universe is about to implode, and you flip-flop more than a fucking IHOP. Nothing saddens me more in my quest for honest and loyal people than growing close to someone, only to find out the qualities they possess are the absolute opposite of what I am seeking. But for the sake of coming with the realness and not jumping to conclusions, I'll ask you personally about it tomorrow, because that's what true friends should do. Right?
Smoke me, I'm blunt.
No homework and lots of sleep makes Mikey Tran a happy man. This entire week has been nothing but hectic, but at least today gave me a chance to relax. I fell asleep in first period again, as does everyone else, and I probably would have fallen asleep in second period as well if I didn't have a test to take. Hopefully I did fine, but thank goodness that it won't be going on the first progress report. We talked about Freud for the entire class period, and between awkward glances and giggles with Thomas, Danielle, and Kelli, I actually learned a great deal about fixations. Fourth period was a snoozer; we played a jeopardy-like game, in which I took home 4 points for my side of the room. Spanish was spent discussing different cultures in other Spanish-speaking countries, of which there are 21 of, until Connie remembered to ask our teacher about the burritos last-minute. Sixth period was boring as usual, but I finally finished my unit and had a chance to pick out my next piece and play on the big keyboard for once.
So, no game, huh? Your words and your actions are so contradictory that I think the universe is about to implode, and you flip-flop more than a fucking IHOP. Nothing saddens me more in my quest for honest and loyal people than growing close to someone, only to find out the qualities they possess are the absolute opposite of what I am seeking. But for the sake of coming with the realness and not jumping to conclusions, I'll ask you personally about it tomorrow, because that's what true friends should do. Right?
Smoke me, I'm blunt.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Bad Habits
OMFG SPONGEBOB WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Really though, don't play with me. Not only do I not appreciate it, but it's also morally wrong. Just hope you know that. Pick one of us and stick with it already.
Really though, don't play with me. Not only do I not appreciate it, but it's also morally wrong. Just hope you know that. Pick one of us and stick with it already.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
707 LAKAS
What is there to say?
Well, for one, I don't appreciate my time being wasted, I hope you know that.
Aside from a couple of setbacks, Thursday turned out to be an adequate start to the month of October. There are going to be a lot of big things happening in the coming weeks, many of which will be unexpected to practically everybody. Don't bother asking, you'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, Lady Gaga's song Paparazzi has been haunting me from the radio every time I get behind the wheel. After nearly an entire school week of talking about Mexican food in Spanish class, I finally got that burrito I've been craving for today. Good stuff.
This will be the earliest that I've slept all week, and hopefully I'll be able to wake up with enough time to eat breakfast tomorrow morning. Blueberry or chocolate muffin? I can't decide. goodnight!
Well, for one, I don't appreciate my time being wasted, I hope you know that.
Aside from a couple of setbacks, Thursday turned out to be an adequate start to the month of October. There are going to be a lot of big things happening in the coming weeks, many of which will be unexpected to practically everybody. Don't bother asking, you'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, Lady Gaga's song Paparazzi has been haunting me from the radio every time I get behind the wheel. After nearly an entire school week of talking about Mexican food in Spanish class, I finally got that burrito I've been craving for today. Good stuff.
This will be the earliest that I've slept all week, and hopefully I'll be able to wake up with enough time to eat breakfast tomorrow morning. Blueberry or chocolate muffin? I can't decide. goodnight!
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