for your perusing.

I love the sound of violins, and making someone smile.

ah, what a chill day! So apparently when I wrote up yesterday's blog entry, I totally forgot that August has 31 days in it and not 30, so, here I am again, saying my final farewells to this atrocious eighth month of the year. Ironically, despite all of my complaining about how much I despise August, today was actually a very nice day. I had a chance to hang out and catch up with a lot of people who I haven't seen for a very long time, and even a couple of new friends. But, until Kenn gets those pictures up, here's a scene from Camp Rock 2! There's something about Disney movies that always gets to me, especially the songs, and this one is no exception. Pardon my French, but I think this is fucking cute, and I don't give a damn who judges me for saying that, hahaha. Plus, I think the girl is kinda pretty. I have weird taste in girls, I know.

Anyway, back to playing this video on repeat for the rest of the night. Take it easy, folks. Happy September!

"It's in the way she walks, it's in the way she smiles."

After spending a well-deserved weekend in LA, I've come to realize a few things:

1. My brother and I are much more alike than I thought.
2. It's time to get away from my parents the next time I go.
3. I really love the beach. Damn, I miss it.

I also realized that despite our small conversations, I don't know a damn thing about you, but I'd very much like to get to know you on a deeper level than just "What's up", "What are you doing?". Nothing serious, just someone who'll be there for me, and vice versa.

Anyway, goodbye, August. You were terrible. Where's December at?! I'm gonna make you one of the best months, ever. Trust.

#270

3A.M. and I'm wide awake and super excited for this event tonight. LA, here I come!

Catch of the Day.

ONE DAY. I missed this by ONE DAY.

Oh, how I would have loved to be able to come out to this event tonight. It's been far too long since I've visited Downtown Disney, and unfortunately, it doesn't look as if I'll be able to go before my summer ends. However, I'm making it a personal goal to go to Disneyland at least once before the year ends. Hopefully through hard work, persistence, and a little luck, that dream of mine will finally come true.

My friend Donn John told the other week that one day he'd walk into House of Blues and see me up there, working my magic for all to see. That sounds wonderful, but it also makes me think: How can someone have so much faith in me when I don't even have faith in myself? And it's not just DJ, but others as well, plenty of others who think that I've got the stuff to make my greatest aspirations come alive with harmony. Wherever they are drawing this unwavering belief from, it must be pretty wonderful, but since I haven't found it yet, all I can do is keep my fingers on the keys and my heart in the clouds as I search onward and upward.

Fame is a lot like love; nearly identical, in fact. Trust me, I've had a taste of both. You can dream of it for days, yearn for it with great passion, envy those who have it, wishing that they would share just a piece. You can hold it tightly on those cold nights, embracing it as you fall asleep, only to wake up and see that it's gone, nowhere to be found. And while both fame and love share some common elements, there is one fundamental difference that sets the two apart: love can sustain where fame cannot.

What's truly ironic, though, is that I do have it in me. Yet I lack conviction. An apology to those who feel that my talents are going to waste as I sit here and do nothing but type out long, metaphor-laden blogs that nobody really reads, because for as much as I want to get myself out there, a man simply cannot carry on for long without a source of inspiration...and the best source of inspiration is the human heart.

Tomorrow, I'll be embarking on a journey both physically and spiritually. With any luck, it'll be one step closer to just what I've been looking for.


In a few.

Confidante.

"You've always been seen as chatty, friendly and outgoing. You're never afraid to say just what's on your mind, and you're great at saying it in the sweetest fashion. What's locked deep in your heart is another story -- but that's what friends are for. You need someone close to talk to. Though you're more than happy to speak up to almost anyone for the next few days, what you really want is a confidante."





I usually don't read my horoscope, but today's was spot-on.

"Ma Chère Amie"

A simple plaid shirt and a pair of black leggings adorned the apple of my eye last Thursday night as we exchanged furtive glances and playful smiles from across the dinner table. But I soon discovered that a couple of bowls and plates weren't all that stood between us, and while the thought of it was very pleasant indeed, I'm afraid that the long distance and a language barrier won in the end. I'm not quite sure if I've ever told this to anybody, but I've always wanted to learn French. What better language to learn than that of love, right? But alas, it was just another night that came and went, a stranger from the other side of the train tracks passing by, giving me the pleasure of a nice meal and good company before we went our separate ways. It was a nice night.

Wherever you may be, I hope that there is someone with you tonight, treating you like the gem that you are. And as for me? Well, I think I've struck gold, somewhere much closer to home. She just doesn't know it yet. But time and space is what she needs, so time and space is what she'll get.

I'll meet you on the moon.

"Let's kick it sometime."

They always say it, but it never happens. I think I expect too much from people in general.

"Now thank you for your silence, and let's appreciate all the beauty in this life 'cause one minute you are risin', next minute you declinin', if a bitch lyin' then you can be a tiger."

Y'all far too kind. I must admit, though, I'm pretty damn excited. In a bit.

My mind is running wild,

and I know it seems like I'm rushin', but I've got all the time in the world. So I'll let my mind levitate and my feet gravitate as I try to master these concepts of time and space that a woman requires away from the remnants of what used to be her solar system. And pardon my advances, but I'm just trying to get ahead of the curve that set me back because I was cursed with beginner's luck, two left feet, and the status of being a late bloomer trying to play catch-up equipped with nothing more than a goofy smile and a simple "How was your day?". And though I appear under-qualified and overly ambitious, it's only with absolute certainty, or more like wishful thinking that I say I truly believe whatever we can set forth into motion will be greater and more indulgent than your wildest dreams. And here I am again, rambling about something that I have no say in and no right to make decisions for, midnight snackin' on brownies and milk as I await the opening of the gateway leading into your heart to a place of pure, indescribable, blissful companionship.

Time to Shine.

This week is shaping up to be every bit as wild and rampant as last week was, and truthfully, I'm ready to let all of my inhibitions go and just roll with it.

I met a very interesting man at the family dinner party I attended on Saturday night. Through his graying hair, uneven glasses and crooked teeth, I could tell that he was not a man of particularly eloquent status, yet the words he spoke ran deep through my veins like a surge of fresh water.

He first wandered over to our table in a goofy and rather aloof manner about half an hour into the party and started to speak to some of the other people sitting with us. I wasn't quite sure who he was, or whether or not he was related to me, as I had never seen him before in my entire life. I managed to pick up a few things as he chattered on and on, and immediately I knew that he was the joker type. BIG kidder. Probably cracks more jokes in an hour than my uncle Viet does in a year - and Uncle Viet is pretty damn funny!

A couple of drinks and dozens of jokes later, the man finally made his way over to my dad, where they spoke and laughed for a bit before he proposed a toast. "To a fresh start!", he exclaimed, as everyone around us took sips of their red wine. Not a bad thing to toast to...not a bad thing at all. Already I was feeling alive and anew, despite not clinking my cup with the others. I can't drink red wine, so Coke was my beverage of choice for the evening.

About fifteen minutes later, the man came back, and hilarity ensued once more. The man was a non-stop chatterbox. Where does this guy get all of these jokes?! It must be the alcohol. Always blame it on the alcohol, hah. As our table erupted in laughter, he proposed yet another toast: "To new beginnings!". It seemed odd, at least to me, that he would toast to the same thing twice. I wondered if he was trying to repent for a past action of his or whether he was simply too drunk to know what he was saying. At any rate, everyone was having a great time, and so was I, so I sat back in my seat, grabbed another shrimp ball, and let the good times roll.

It wasn't over. Oh no. Not by a long shot. Before I knew it, he was back again! Just great. What was it this time? The usual routine carried out: a few drinks, some more jokes and anecdotes, bursts of laughter, and another toast. Of course. Who could forget the toast?! This time, he yelled out, "To a wonderful tomorrow!". Clink, clink went the cups, and my mind went into a frenzy. My curiosity had risen to the point where I simply had to know what this guy's story was, but before I had a chance to ask him myself, my dad popped the question that I had been dying to discover the answer to: "Why do you keep toasting to these same things, over and over again?" And let me just say this right now...what the man answered with was amazing.

"Why not?", he questioned back to my father. "Why worry about the past? There's nothing that's worth dwelling on. Let's face it: we're not children anymore. Sure, we're not OLD, and we've still got plenty of days ahead of us to do all the things that we want to. But why waste time? Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. All that we have is now. And for that reason and that reason alone, I am constantly reinventing myself. Each and every day, I have a chance to make something amazing with this life of mine. Each and every day, I am a clean slate, waiting to be inscribed upon. Each and every day, I am a brand new person, making the best with what I've got and living my life to the fullest. That's why."

From just one little speech, I have taken, learned, and realized so much. I don't know what the future has in store for me, or what this week's challenges will be. Hell, I don't even fully know what I'm doing today! All I can do, from now until I figure something out, is just roll with it. Let it happen. Go with the flow. Where that takes me is still a mystery, but I'd be a two-faced liar if I were to tell you that I'm not totally stoked to find out. Let's do this thing. Are you ready? Because I sure am.

Milestones.

Oh man, I'm too tired to put my best effort into writing right now, but this past week has been pretty damn crazy. Tons of frustration, which led to even more productivity. Let's just say that I got a lot done, even if it wasn't completed through the most efficient of methods. Oh, and for the first milestone, I'd like to announce: Ding, 80.

I've started to realize and appreciate the beauty in my culture, more and more as each day passes. For the longest time, I've considered myself very in-tune with my roots; and I still believe that I am, but now I see that there's still so much more that I have yet to discover. My cousin turned 25 last weekend, and as with any birthday in the family, a small get-together gave us the bonding time that I had been missing for so long. On the menu for this occasion? Roasted and sauteed pork tongue. Sounds gross, right? I usually don't eat these kinds of things, but I was feeling especially adventurous and decided to take a bite anyway. Half an hour later I had cleaned off the entire plate, chili sauce and all. By the way, my sister got engaged! Hahaha, so awesome. I'm happy for her.

Most of my time this week was spent in the garage, toiling away as I cleaned, polished, and waxed every nook and cranny of my car. People think I'm crazy for spending so much time on my ride, but I have to say that it's quite relaxing. Not only does it give me something to do, it's also a great workout, and I can't count the number of times somebody has complimented me on what a shiny and clean-looking car I have. I guess hard work really does pay off in the long run, after all! Finally broke 60,000 miles today, and I'm mastering hill driving, slowly but surely.

As the week came to a close, my heart was a rollercoaster of emotions. Throughout the past two days alone, I underwent pretty much every emotion in the book. I swear, it felt like Kababayan Fest 2009, all over again. After hanging out with a couple of friends who I haven't seen since school ended, it finally hit me how much they've changed. Or perhaps, how much I've changed. It's as if my mind is on a whole 'nother level than theirs. Don't get me wrong, though; I still value their friendship as much as ever, and I love hearing from other perspectives once in awhile, even if I don't necessarily agree with what they have to say.

I wore my Military Blue IVs last night to the dinner party, the pair that started it all for me. My shoe collection is almost entirely gone now, but I don't think I'll ever get rid of these. They're my favorite pair of Jordans ever, without a doubt. That said, I've also realized that I don't look so hot in Jordans, and that Nikes fit me better. Anyway, my parents said that it wasn't formal and that I didn't have to dress up, but I have to admit that I felt really under-dressed. I didn't realize that I had so many cousins, though! And finally, someone around my age at a family event! Mayflower is...well, not very good. I'm extremely picky with my food (just like with my women. ha ha!), and after having eaten at so many fantastic restaurants in SoCal, nothing that we have up here can compare. It saddens me to say this, but it's true. Oh boy, am I craving some Porto's right now. Note to self: Load up on cheese rolls next time I go.

As much as I want to let off some steam, I have to remember to keep calm and carry on. The past is the past, but I also can't put too much weight into the future; thinking about tomorrow isn't going to change how I feel today. My mom is going out of town in 7 hours and I'll have nothing to do for the next two days. Sounds like a perfect time to start that workout routine my brother sent me last night, which incorporates 5 minutes of meditation a day. I'm not very good at meditating, but now's as good a time to learn as ever.


See ya soon.

Teenage Dream.

Oh, nothing, just some wishful thinking.

Eclectic.

This constellation of frustration looms over my head now more than ever, evoking both emotional and moral turmoil inside of me as I try to make some sense of the situations surrounding me. It's been a rough week, although also a very productive one. Today is the last day that I'll be spending inside of the garage, as my baby is back and looking better than ever. Yep, you heard me. It feels nice to be back on the road again.

Tomorrow, I'm hanging out with a close friend of mine who I haven't seen for quite some time, which should help to ease some of the stress that's been clouding my mind as of late. I'm not even sure what our plans are, but I'm sure it'll be fun. Still, that doesn't solve any of the problems about Saturday that I have, the biggest one being, "What am I going to do?!". Maybe the answers will come in time.

Your silence worries me - just a little bit, although it shouldn't worry me at all. After all, I'm still "young" (relatively speaking), and college is coming up, which means I'll be meeting tons of new people. That's a good thing, right? Well, as good as it may be, that doesn't cure this mounting desire that's steadily growing inside of me. My heart tells me to pursue. My mind tells me way too many things. Everyone tells me to chill. But you'll have to pardon my eagerness for a little bit, because I'm still new to this. It's been so long since I've gone after something more than a "fling", and I guess I'm still getting accustomed to this higher level of attention and intricacy that must be paid if I'm ever to succeed. I'll get the hang of it soon enough. Bear with me, will you?

All in all, this week has been one beautiful day after the next, and it's with high hopes and a positive mental attitude that I rush headlong into the weekend and see what it has in store to me. We're running of time, now. Let's make the most of it.

Diamond Tiffany.

I must admit, I really miss these.

See, all I wanna do is be relevant.
Just tell me that I ever meant anything, or that you could ever see me and you in another light, but it's like the dark woman indoors in the darkest nights by the wrong man, and see, mostly all of them have made you incapable of a first impression. What I do is I channel my aggression with no cable or antenna, just intentions to impress you, if capable, hoping that the material possessions can materialize into a better you, if capable. Cars? Nothing I drive can ever drive you out of this frame of mind with such an ugly picture in it. Money? Nothing I buy can buy me more time for your ears to tell your heart to listen to it. Diamonds? A girl's best friend is what they say, but, believe me, with the right allegiance, shorty, you gon' shine anyways. And every day that goes by is a couple more lines in your diary, the day before better than the present, so anyone presented in her presence endures these life...sentences. No key for release, no reason to be around. Her mind's in the clouds. She writes it all down, in her diary.

I'm picky.

Maybe a little too picky. They say that beggars can't be choosers. Sheesh, no kidding.










Or maybe I'm just overly ambitious.

Let's Get Right

Oh, August, what happened to you?

As I slip deeper and deeper into last July's mindset, I certainly do miss last August, and I can't help but wonder whether it was a case of serendipity or just pure coincidence that the eighth month of last year was so grand to me, and while I've made a full recovery those deep wounds, I must admit that I do miss it. Keyword: it. Not her. It. They say that absence makes the heart fonder, but fonder of what? It's the pursuit of something so beautiful and illustrious that has defined my very being for so long, and the desire for something much more than a single night of lust that sets me apart from the pack. And perhaps it's ironic that I've passed on so many chances in the past, knowing that I would simply be settling for something lesser, not chasing a dream come true. But, see, the problem is that it's one thing to chase someone, but an entirely different thing to chase someone who won't let you chase them. Pardon the slur in my words, for I can't really seem to find a better way to put this, but as I jam to this track in my seat, a smile breaks out across my face, surely but slowly as I the beats caress my ears and these foolish thoughts of you and I underneath a starry Saturday night enter my mind. And just as quickly, I snap myself back to reality, reminding myself that it'll probably never happen, anyway. But hey; a guy can dream, can't he?

Now, if you'll excuse me, miss, I've got a car to polish. But just for now, don't let my champagne spill on you, as you make your move.

Out of Order.

I'll miss you, baby. See you in a week.

Well, it's been a rough day for me so far already, so I'll cut to the chase. Long-story short, my car is still uninsured. My dad's carelessness has once again cost me a potentially-fun night with some friends. I really do hate to point fingers and play the blame-game, though, and I understand why he made the mistake that he did; anyone could have made that mistake, honestly, and I won't waste any energy being upset at him for it. All I can do now is wait it out and hope that things get resolved soon. Until then, my car is out-of-commission for a bit, and it's back to driving the mommymobile for a little while longer. I'll keep you guys posted, and hopefully I'll be back on the road with my baby soon. For now, I'll just chill. See y'all in a bit.


P.S. You know, I just realized...my couch kinda looks like a hot dog. Haha.

MACAPUNO.

So I hung out with Kristina and Michelle De Leon last night. Oh, and from now on, every time I mention a 'Michelle' in one of my posts, I'm going to have to put the entire name down, just because I know about nine or ten of them. I'm not even kidding! Anyway, I had to pass on the Treatbot when I went to get Mogo's with Kelli the other night since we were both absolutely stuffed and also had two cups of Yogurtland with us, but I finally got to try some last night! Gotta admit that I felt pretty bad for the guy working, though: his coworker had to leave as soon as they finished setting up, so the poor guy was stuck taking AND making all the orders. Luckily, we were one of the first ones in line, so we didn't have to wait too long. I got a chocolate chip cookie sandwich with some MACAPUNO ice cream inside (by the way, when I said it the way that you told me to, the guy looked at me as if I were crazy, and then he said it back to me the "American" way. hahaha.) while the girls got...uh, some Mexican flavors. Mexican Chocolate and Eastside Horchata! We chilled for a bit, listened to some terrible karaoke, and then I dropped them off, taking the chance to see how fast my baby can go. I'm too paranoid to REALLY push her, though, especially at night when all the cops are out. Maybe on the freeway!

Anyway, y'all are at your conference for the weekend. Hope you guys are having fun! Damn, I want ice cream now. I think I'm gonna go get some and enjoy my beautiful Friday evening.



Late!

With the Thickeness.

Today was such a bo$$ day. Hahaha, sorry. I had to.

Started my day by waking up around 11:45 or so. It's nice to wake up with some peace and quiet for once, although it would have been nice to have been woken up by a text or two. A few people flaked on me today; in fact, they didn't even bother to get back to me at all. It's all good, though! The best laid plans are unplanned. Ended up heading to Eastridge at around 4 to meet up with friends, some of whom I haven't seen for quite awhile, as well as re-stock on Hi-chew. Headed to Sports Chalet for a bit and then over to Yuri for some Japanese food. The waitress there was so nice to us!

After taking a break for a bit back at my place, we headed out again and tried to chase down the Mogo truck, and after about 25 minutes, we finally found it! "Near the library" my ass, Steve. Thanks a lot! Haha, I'm kidding. Thanks for letting us know that it was in the area though, and thank goodness we didn't head all the way down to Santa Teresa. I have to say that when comparing Kogi and Mogo, Kogi wins in every single way possible, no contest; after all, Kogi was THE original Korean BBQ taco truck. Cooled off after with some Yogurtland, and called it a night. I didn't get home until around 11:30, but surprisingly my parents were in such great moods that they didn't even mind! It probably helped that I brought home some yogurt for my dad, too.

Bummer that laser tag/bowling didn't go through, buuuuuut tomorrow should be nice. Santa Monica?! Hahah, just kidding. The mall sounds fun, though. I'm not usually too excited to go to Great Mall, but for some reason, I can't wait. I think it's because I'm finally going to get to take my baby out on the freeway. Time to see what she can do! But for now, I need sleep. Man, am I beat.




See y'all in the A.M. Leave me something if you're down.

CHICKEN PATTY.

Hi, it's your birthday today!

So, thanks again for the Hello Kitty key cover. My old rainbow panda one was getting pretty janky. Guess it's a good thing that I decided to double back and pick it up off the ground after you left the last time we went to Yogurtland, huh! Well, anyway, I have a secret to tell you: I've been totally envious of you and Marvin ever since I saw you two together because you guys are probably the cutest couple that I know. Everything that you guys do is so lovey-dovey Seriously, it's disgusting. Stop it. Find me a girl that I can be romantic with too, please?! Hahah, jokes. Thanks for being such a great friend though, and for always listening to me rant on and on about people that piss me off and how I always have to pee, I really appreciate it. Anyway, I'm running on Filipino time today; it's almost 8 and I'm still sitting here at home! I should probably leave soon. Alright, have a great birthday! I'll see you in a bit, hah.

Productivity.

I just realized that this will be my third post in a row without any pictures or videos to share. Dammit! I really dislike it when my blog gets bland, but I'll try to have something up tomorrow.

Yesterday was a very productive day for me; even I'm surprised at how much I got done! Originally, I had intended to wash, vacuum, claybar, detail, polish, and wax (basically the "special treatment") my car on Saturday morning, but because we were having guests over that night, my dad insisted that I do it on Sunday morning, instead. However, being the heavy sleeper that I am, I didn't even roll out of bed until around 12:30. My parents were both at an event with their friend, so I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios and then took a quick shower.

One of my favorite movies, Rush Hour, was playing after I had finished, so I decided to take that time to sit in front of the TV and finally put together my new PC after nearly a month of stacking boxes upon boxes of computer parts in my second room. It was my first time building one from scratch, but after about an hour and a half - plus a little extra if you count the time I spent on cable management - I was done! I have to admit, I spent A LOT of money on this (well, maybe not to some people, but it was a lot for me), but it's well worth it in the end. I don't think I've ever been on a PC this fast! I can't wait to play some games on this thing.

After my computer was all finished, I drove (with my dad) to go get a haircut. I've been going to the same place for almost two years now, but I have to say that I'm beginning to feel pretty uncomfortable there; the new people that they're hiring seem pretty wild and 'out there', if you know what I mean. The fact that I knew that the guy who's been cutting my hair was gay since I first saw him doesn't help either, but hey, he gives a good, clean cut, and that's what I'm paying for. I gotta hand it to him, he's been doing a much better job lately, although today's cut wasn't as great as the one I got last month.

Took a shower again when I got home and ate a huge bowl of baby clams and rice that my mom made for me. She has this ridiculous notion that I hate eating now, so she's been shoving food into my face every time I enter the kitchen. Following dinner, my dad and I FINALLY washed my car, but it wasn't a total success: the previous owner parked it on the street a lot and it would get sprayed with sprinkler water, so now I have hard-water buildup on my car that's gonna take A LOT of work to get off. I've got some interesting ideas to test out about how to get rid of it. We'll see how far I get tomorrow morning. Speaking of tomorrow morning, I also have to go to the DMV to register my car. How fun! Naaahhht.

Working out has become almost second nature to me now. I don't even think as I go through the motions, and before I know it, I'm done and feeling as fantastic as ever. I ended up taking a third shower today, because I just can't stand going to bed all sweaty and sticky. My mom told me to eat a banana (I was born in the year of the monkey, hah) before I go to sleep, so I suppose I'll go do that right now...with some Nutella on the side, of course.

Well, that's my day. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but considering the fact that I didn't even get out of bed until half past noon and I was flying solo for most of these things that I got done, I'd have to say that I'm pretty beat. Sorry to whoever I didn't get a chance to get back to! I'm usually very diligent about replying to IMs/texts/FB comments, but these past couple of days have made me just a little bit forgetful.

Anyway, this week should be great, and this banana looks delicious. Goodnight.

Chapter 26.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

-Holden Caulfield

Dwelling has always been one of my greatest weaknesses, and I've never quite been able to accept that fact that there are just some things that I simply can't change, no matter how much I wish that I could. But I have to admit, I'm pretty surprised at myself lately. It's as if the anger, frustration, spite, and all the other negative emotions have been almost completely flushed out of my body, and as much as I want to get upset about things, I can never seem to do so for more than a couple of minutes at most. Where this sudden change of character came from is still a mystery to me, but good job, self. Keep it up.

R.I.P. J.D. Salinger.