This Plane

You missed it.

Wakin' up, ten in the morning, more alive than I've ever been.

I've got a crush on you...

I've been completely enchanted by the video that I posted earlier, and have been abusing the "replay" button all weekend long - mostly just to listen to the song. Its nice to take a step back every once in awhile and watch the world pass by. A week ago, I was going nuts; thoughts were racing endlessly through my head, wondering what the situation was, envisioning all of the possible scenarios, questioning each and every little gesture. I suppose that even emotions can be fickle at times, though; for now, much of my worries are now dust in the wind. It's funny, how quickly things can change. Crushes become crushed, and the crusher is the crush.

Sometimes, I just wish for someone who's willing to take it slow with me. I was talking to a good friend of mine about how a lot of people my age are growing up too fast - or at least we think so. "All they want to talk about is partyin' and fashion", if I may steal a line from Drake. And there's nothing wrong with that, for I love to have a good time, just as anyone else would; but at the end of the day, I'd love nothing more than to have someone by my side, perhaps curled up next to me on the couch or snuggling up through the sheets; someone I can sit there with, maybe eat a tub of ice cream or watch some TV with, but most of all, someone I can just talk to, all throughout the night, and to be able to wake up next to her the following morning without having to worry about who she's planning to go out with later or what she's wearing when she walks out the door, because she will have just as much faith in our relationship as I have.


Pardon my mush.

smooth as silk

This has become one of my all-time favorite videos. I'm not usually a fan of cars that sit this low, but something about this 180 is so elegant and mesmerizing. This, in my eyes, is as close as you can possibly get to a perfect shot. Every little detail just seems to flow so well: the gleam of light reflecting off the polished lip of the SSRs, the little kids playing in the background of the interior shots, the tiny scrapes of the exhaust and the front bumper as the car pulls out of and then back into the driveway, which are more like soft kisses from the owner to his ride - and the song, oh my god. This is why I love cars.

Kaminari

Just some inspiration for the future.

'11.

They say that the experiences a man goes through in his college years will shape him into the man that he will become for the rest of his life. Boy, what a ride its been thus far - no pun intended. I've met new people, tried new things, and seen what the world has to offer me. Throughout the past two weeks alone, I've been to hell and back, laying blissfully in a companion's warm embrace one night and drowning my sorrows with sake and blowing smoke the next. Despite the progress I've made, I know that I've still got miles and miles to go before I get there, and this is a journey which both excites and terrifies me at the same time. Fear of the unknown is a fickle trait, though; I seek first to make it known, and then to make it mine.

Already I can faintly make out the silhouette of the man I have yet to become: a man resilient in his values, yet soft to those of others; a man admired for his resolve, but humble towards those who have shaped him; a man sweltering with passions and who will go to limits above and beyond in order to chase his horizons, although at the end of the day he knows that he can't do it all alone, at least not everything. I see him now, and day by day, the image becomes clearer. The world crashes onto me like wind and waves breaking against stone; only the strong make their mark. And while it may seem bleak at the moment for those unable to come into their own, just remember: we all have to start somewhere.

"Let's just talk all through the night,

there's no need to rush."

This is SUCH an incredible cover. I'm a little upset at myself for not discovering it earlier, haha. But really, I just love how Alejandro "cleaned up" the song by taking out all of the sexual references, which I feel made the original a bit trashy. Sex does not always equal love, and vice versa. Sex can be an amazing thing, but it means nothing without love. Just ask any man, any real man.

Damn though, I wish I could sing...just sayin'!

A Learning Experience

Maybe I'm a fool. A fool for expecting something out of nothing. A fool for expecting something so great to come so easily. A fool for expecting someone else my age to be ready for something a little more serious. A fool for expecting anything at all. I guess there's a fine line between being optimistic and having your hopes too high, and I crossed that line awhile ago. I promised myself after the last serious relationship that I had that I would never let myself make the same mistakes twice, but something about seeing you lay there, looking so precious, made my heart skip a beat. I thought I could save you, show you that love does exist and that it's worth fighting for; but then again, I can't save everybody.

Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches.

How do I show to you that it's worth it?

Watching the sunrise, for the second day in a row.

Sunrise Goodbyes.

Marvin's Room

Thanks Ling-Ling for showing me this. Damn, the best Drake track since July.

eleven minutes

That's how long I've got until King of the Hill starts. Usually they show two episodes a night, starting at 2 A.M., but for some reason there's only one episode tonight. Oh well. I swear, I think I'm the only one out of all my friends who loves this show. Everyone always seems to be really into Family Guy, which has its funny moments, especially the earlier episode, but its wayyyy too slapstick for me. To each his own, I guess.

Last night was my final night of work. No more Pinkberry! I feel a little sad about leaving, and truth be told, I really love this job, even though there are times when it makes me want to rip all my hair out, but in the end, I gotta do whats best for me. The long commute, frustrating work environment, and low pay simply aren't cutting it anymore. I think I'll take this time to enjoy life at my leisure for a month or so, and then try to find a new job, somewhere less stressful with better pay that's closer to home. Wish me luck!

So it seems like its been forever since I've written one of these kinds of blogs, if you know what I mean. Why am I sitting here typing this right now? Who knows. I've been staying up late for the past several weeks, just reminiscing on times past. I never thought life after high school would change me so drastically, but oh, how it has, and it's amazing really how having somebody to adore and cherish in your life changes your perspective on things entirely! In retrospect, I suppose that love made me act in ways that I would now consider silly or asinine, but it also brought a great deal of optimism and a sense of adventure into my life, something that I've been missing as of late. Hm.

Although finals don't officially start until next week, most of my finals will, in fact, be taking place this week, which puts some extra weight on my shoulders as I scramble to get everything done and over with. It's also a good thing though, I suppose, because my sister and her husband are coming to visit this weekend! It'll also give me a makeshift "week off" before summer quarter starts, and luckily, the first weekend after that is the Fourth of July; this year, I'll be spending it in...yup, you guessed it: Sunny Southern California! It has been far, far too long.

Speaking of SoCal, I've been dreaming a lot lately. And when I say "dreaming", I really mean "letting my mind wander and drift amongst all the possibilities", hahah. But forreals, I would absolutely love to have the chance to visit Disneyland this summer! I had wanted to go last year, but in the end, I wasn't able to find the time nor the means to take a trip down south. This year, though, I've got a pretty good feeling about things. But we'll see.

Aw man, I'm four minutes over. Time to watch some King of the Hill and eat my last shift meal from Pinkberry. Coconut is the best flavor, ever. Alright, late!

Talking to the moon.

Surgery

illusory

I'm zonin' right now, head bouncing back and forth, eyes wide shut, the touch of early morning nipping against the window behind me. Its not quite summer yet - in fact, it rained yesterday - but my drive is already beginning to pick up.

Another year, another birthday. 2011 didn't quite do for me what the previous two years did. As I grow older, I see more and more things on a gray scale, rather than in vibrant color. Both my mind and my body are constantly re-adjusting themselves, becoming accustomed to these nuances that I've been forced to take on as a result of such drastic lifestyle changes. For instance, I no longer feel the urge to reach into my pocket and check my phone every five minutes, because I know that unlike in years past, there won't be any new messages for me, anyway.

Yet my heart has a life of its own, separate from mind and body, and at times it feels as if all three are wandering off, all at once, each in their own direction. Truth is, as productive as I've been, I'm far from whole. An air of emptiness constantly lingers around me, ushering in lonely nights and reflective mornings, and its in times like these that I wish I had a companion of the fairer sex to share my deepest thoughts and sentiments with. Where she is, I haven't got a clue.


But how can I help another if I can't help myself?