Why?

Because I am not your average 17-year-old boy. Because I do not care what other people say about you. Because I am good enough, no matter what anyone else thinks. Because I have no one to impress but myself. Because I find interest in things that would put most people to sleep. Because I express myself in more ways than one, always broadening my horizons. Because my parents raised me right, and told me to work hard. Because my grandma prays for me every night, in hopes that I’d find someone like you. Because I know you, inside and out. Because even all these months later, after numerous letdowns and unmet expectations, I still believe. Because all these months later, I still burn. Because I know that long after your feelings for me have faded, my feelings for you will still live on. Because I give to you things that I would not even consider giving to any other. Because I am always here, whenever you need it, despite whatever arguments or setbacks we may have had just a day or two ago. Because I put up with both your nonsense and silliness, your arrogance and your loving. Because I know that you’re not ready, but I still stay, waiting for the day that you are. Because we don’t see eye to eye, partially because I am taller than you. Because you won’t find another who will talk to you the way that you talk, in silly phrases and random thoughts. Because I know exactly what you mean, even if all you say is one imaginary word. Because I know you felt it, too, but are still too scared to stick with me. Because I know you’re too scared, but I stick with it anyway. Because I have given so much and gained so little, yet every moment with you was dearly cherished. Because I felt like shit every time I tried to talk to another girl to make me feel better. Because I gave up all of those girls, knowing that none of them will ever be able to give them what you have given me. Because I want you to be free, yet in the end, you find your way back to me. Because I want you to be independent, yet I’m the one who has helped you stay strong and stand on your own two feet for so long. Because I know you can be strong your own, but you would be strong with me. Because I know your day would be boring without me. Because I know you’ll still have other people to talk to when I’m gone, but you know it won’t be the same. Because I go <—, and you go —>, but we both want to go ^. Because you’re too scared to hold my hand on the way up, even though it’s been here for so long. Because you know it’s still going to be there when you want it. Because both losing me and getting me back were some of the happiest moments you’ve ever had. Because you want someone to make you happy again, but don’t want to committ. Because I know that one day, you will be able to put your whole heart and soul into something much more beautiful than the last. Because I want that something to be me, but there are so many things in the way. Because I honestly wish that you were still with your last, for I have never seen you as happy as you were back then. Because I try, so hard to be your next great wonder. Because I’ve started every sentence with “because”, I’m going to stop. Because (oops, I did it again) I know that blogging my feelings will probably not change anything, but still, I do, just in case. Because even if we stop talking, I am not going to let it end on bad terms. Because I am breaking apart inside. Because despite our different paths, I know we have the same destination, and I am willing and able, certainly capable of quitting this habit of going against you. Because I want to work with you to help you overcome all that you are dealing with FIRST, and then if you’d let me, to work with you on what we would both like to build, together. Because I know that somewhere in your temporarily cold and empty heart, you still have a spot for me, and that the only reason I am not there right now is due to you being stuck, confused, and scared of starting something that you are unsure of. Because I am scared too, but I realize that I have to risk something if I ever want to get anywhere. Because I am willing to go through the pain if I know there is a chance of endless happiness on the other side. Because even though I am scared, you make me feel completely safe. Because I know that you deserve happiness, and that’s the damn truth and you know it.

“i’m not sure what you should do, but i’ll make sure you end up happy.”

Right back at ya.

Oh, and because I'd still be your friend and I'd still love you even if you were fat and all you wanted was for me to take you to buffets every day and night. <3