Lost.

It's been too long.

I don't even remember the last time I've even visited my blog, let alone written in it. December 27th, 2012. What a year that was. The year that changed everything. The year that made me and broke me at the same time. The year that I finally found myself.

But of course, anything that can be found can just as easily be lost. And that's just where I've been lately, although it appears that I'm starting to find my legs again, beginning to get a feel for what life was like before all this. Oh, if only I could tell you all of the things that have transpired over the past couple of years. I wouldn't even know where to begin. It all seems so insignificant now, so distant, almost as if it was in a past life. And yet, at the same time, I feel as if it were just yesterday. The mind works in mysterious ways. Sometimes our interpretation of time and space couldn't be farther from the truth.

If you ask me to tell you about it, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything. All I know is that those days are far behind, with only a slight glimmer of them still in my rear-view mirror. Sometimes I think that it was all for the best and that leaving it all behind. At other times, I yearn for it. I crave it. That sense of belonging, of family and familiarity, of being missed. Occasionally I receive reminders of what those things feel like, and for that, I'm grateful. Perhaps I'm being too selfish or needy in feeling this way. Then again, is it really asking too much?

At the end of the day, one thing holds true: I am hundreds of miles away from the place I call "home". That much is true. What I make of it, that's entirely up to me. What others make of it, that's completely irrelevant. At the end of the day, we all have nobody's lives to live but our own.

I look up, and I see the stars and the moon in all their grandeur. I take a moment and wonder: is anybody else looking up and seeing what I'm seeing? Do they see the same moon, the same stars, the same constellations, arranged in the same manner across this tapestry of night sky? Do they miss me, the way that I miss them? And in the blink of an eye, I snap out of it. There are no answers to be found in rhetorical questions.

Soon, things will come full circle.

For now, I just have to keep going.