Mad World.

I woke up today at 6:38 A.M. By 6:58 A.M. I had finished showering. I left my house at 7:09 A.M. and stepped foot inside of my classroom at 7:15 A.M.

Another hour of language, followed by an hour with the Blueberry. Little more than an hour later, I received a surprise "hello" from a girl I used to know. I am to talk to her tonight, although what that will accomplish is still unclear.

Two hours of western philosophy. I hear her bright voice from behind my seat, but now I cannot turn around. I take out my black notebook and begin to write. A compound of sorrow and frustration fuels me to write these lyrical bombs with which I will attack. No more words are exchanged, although if it were possible, I would let her know that I still do care, truly.

More of my daily routine. I dropped my extra credit into the filled basket and walked out the door. Familiar faces surround me as I wait for nothing. I played footsies with a friend as another threw balls of clay at my head. A lovely yet forbidden companion comes along with her significant other. I see the girl with the new phone and ask her if I could see it. Bodies all around me, coming and going.

I decided to walk home rather than to wait. As I walked, I felt a presence surrounding me. I whirled around, multiple times, to see nothing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a young boy of white walk slowly towards me. I look up and he is gone. I am surrounded by images of the invisible, figments of my imagation, fragments of my life that have come and gone. It is the ungraspable phantom.

I turned the corner to enter these familiar streets, "my hood". I am greeted with the sight of an ambulance parked outside one of the houses. Slowly I glided past and out of courtesy, I tried not to look, yet my curiosity won and I took furtive glances. I willed myself to walk to the end of the street, to my house. I opened the mailbox, took out the mail, picked up the newspaper and entered my house. Instantly I set everything down and was lured to the piano room, a room which my heart and soul resides in. I stare blankly out the window at the scene; a limp body was lifted onto the stretcher and heaved into the ambulance. It began to drive off, but stopped suddenly in the middle of the road. The driver went through her papers, apparently found what she was looking for, and continued to drive away. It turns the corner and disappears from view.

My world is spinning. Our tragedy has cut me deep, yet I cannot feel any blood. I fear I may have fallen for another, one which I should not even think about falling for, one which won't work out. I pray that this is just a phase. Old friends begin to annoy me and new ones just don't cut it anymore. Tonight, a group of friends are coming over to my house. Party it up. I am looking forward to it, although this feeling will simply not leave. Perhaps I can drink it all away.




Perhaps I can dream it all away.