There are so many things that I could say about you. I don’t know where to begin, to be quite honest. The word “ugh” comes to mind. That’s the sound of frustration, because I know that I wasn’t good enough, that I’m still not and probably never will be. I guess somewhere along the road, I lost my way. I focused so much on what I wanted that I forgot what I had to do to get there.
As cliche as this sounds: If I could, I would do it all over again. Patience has never been one of my strengths, but for you, I’d wait. Tuesday-night dates, Wednesday-morning kisses; there’s so much I’d like to show you, so many things to share with you. Sweat pants, hair tied, no earrings, no makeup: that’s true beauty, right there. Sitting on the couch on a Saturday night, with a bowl of ice cream in one arm and another one around your warm, beautiful being. No more twenty-minute waits for rides or hiding from our parents, making our own food and our own happiness. Falling asleep next to you, not on the phone with you, and goodmorning kisses instead of goodmorning texts.
The first time I told you I loved you, we were in front of my mom’s car. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t mean what I said. The second time I told you I loved you, we were in a movie theater, this time with a kiss on the cheek. I didn’t mean it that time, either. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other, and even longer since we last spoke. My days have been filled with many emotions, but it wasn’t until last night that I was laying in this empty bed of mine, all alone at 2 A.M. in the shivering cold, not from the lack of blankets, but from the lack of you, that I realized how much I missed you by my side. It wasn’t until that moment in the dark that I realized that I do, truly, love you.
-Yours truly.
No comments:
Post a Comment