Breakin' all the rules.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't get back to me.

Do you know what it's like to not have a best friend? Step into my shoes and you'll know exactly what I mean. For the past who-knows-how-long, I've been as lonely as ever. At times I feel like nobody really understands me. Oh great, just another kid who's emotionally troubled. Right? Well, I guess that would be a somewhat-accurate description of me.

I try to keep my distance. I'm not going to lie, there are times when I completely shut others out and focus on my own work, whatever I'm doing, whether it's something as small as cleaning my room or an important task such as a big project, but one thing that I will never do is push someone away, especially not anyone who actually has the heart and takes the time and effort to try to become closer to me. I love my friends, all of them. As malaise as that sounds coming from someone as detached as I am, it's true. Nothing can top spending time with people who you can really connect to, and if I could do that all the time, I would. Unfortunately, I can't; there's no guarantee that I'm able to hang out with you every time that you ask, but at the very least, I will let you know that I'm busy, or whatever the case will be. Even something as simple as that makes a big difference in the long run, at least for me; it establishes a sense of mutual respect and shows that I at least care about you enough to let you know that although I can't make it to whatever it is you're inviting me to, I'm genuinely sorry.

So likewise, I would expect the same from others. It's okay if you can't make it, or if you just don't feel like going. That's fine, because to be honest, sometimes I feel the same way, but at least tell me, dammit. I promise I won't get butthurt, but I really think that it's rather disrespectful the way that some (a lot) of people leave me hanging when I ask if they want to chill. And then they have the nerve to get upset whenever I can't make it to something?! Bullshit. At least I give you an answer.

I'm not asking for all my friends to spend time with me 24/7, day after day. All I'm asking is that you respect me enough to tell me the truth and be upfront with me, and honestly? I envy those who are lucky enough to be able to call someone their "best friend". It seems as if I'm hard-pressed to even be fortunate to call someone a "good" friend. Is that too much to ask for these days? Point is, if you're gonna leave me hanging, then you don't have the right to complain when I tell you that I'm too busy and can't kick it with you. Just sayin'.

I'm very rarely upset, so consider yourself privileged to be able to see something like this written on my blog. No worries though, I've got more than enough good times to blog about, but that'll have to wait for now. On a happier note, much thanks to everybody who came and congratulated me at my graduation last night! I love y'all, all y'all.






-Back in a bit.