famILY.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my siblings?

Most people don't even know that I have siblings, but yes, I do! Unfortunately for me, I only get to see them once every couple of months, as they both reside in sunny Southern California while I'm stuck here in crappy San Jose for at least two more years. Right now is the perfect time for me to read something like this, and I'm very glad these two small comments came my way just now, because it only reaffirms the bonds that tie us together and shows me that they really are there for me, even if they're not here in person.

Today was a rough day for me. I know I said it yesterday, but I honestly can't stand y'all. Somehow, I managed to survive break, but lunch was way too much for me to take and I ended up leaving the table and walking around school by myself for about 10 minutes before I went to choir practice. Afterward, I walked around by myself, again, for another 5 minutes or so before the bell rang. And after school, I walked home. By myself.

I gotta admit, I'm pretty envious. Envious of all the people who have close friends in their lives, who have someone to spend their free time with and just bug out and be themselves. It's not that I don't have good friends, because I do, and they should know who they are. I appreciate you guys being there, but at the same time, I realize and respect that you guys all have your own group of people to hang out with: your best friends, your girls, your boyfriend or girlfriend, etc., and honestly, the only reason I rarely ask anyone to hang out during school hours is because I don't want to impose. I don't want to be the third wheel, just that guy who's there in the background. If I could, I'd be kicking it with you guys all the time, but I don't leave the table because I have nowhere else to go. And by that, I'm saddened. The people that I spend my break and lunch with are not the people I want to spend time with, and the people I want to spend time with have their own friends and priorities to attend to. What's a guy to do?

All I can do is pray for the strength to survive two more weeks of this. If I can make it that far, we'll see what happens next.

On a positive note, at least I have the banquet tonight to help take my mind off things. And tomorrow is Friday! Oh, and I came home today to find two GIANT tubs of ice cream in my freezer: one mocha and one green tea. To whoever was kind enough to give all this ice cream to my mom: Thank you!